Highlander

Connor MacLeod:
You're a liar!

Ramirez:
You have the manners of a goat. And you smell like a dung-heap! And you have no knowledge whatsoever of your potential!

Ramirez:
The sensation you feel is the Quickening. We are one, MacLeod. We are brothers!

Heather:
You can do that to me forever if you like, my Lord.

Ramirez:
Crude and slow, clansman. Your attack was no better than that of a clumsy child.

Garfield:
Are you a f*ggot Nash?

Connor MacLeod:
Why Garfield? Cruisin' for a piece of ass?

Connor MacLeod:
I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.

Kate:
Angus, you'll keep him in one piece, ya hear?

Dugal MacLeod:
And we all know what piece that is!

Ramirez:
Why does the sun come up, or are the stars just pinholes in the curtain of night?

Ramirez:
If your head comes away from your neck, it's over!

Connor MacLeod:
I've been alive for four and a half centuries, and I cannot die.

Brenda:
Well, everyone has got their problems

Kurgan:
At last. The Gathering...

Candy:
Hi. I'm Candy.

Kurgan:
Of course you are...

Kurgan:
Forgive me father, I am a worm...

Kurgan:
Nuns. No sense of humor.

Kurgan:
So now it ends...

Connor MacLeod:
There can be only one!

Garfield:
What do you think the cause of death was, Lieutenant?

Connor MacLeod:
You only have one life! If you value it, go home!

Garfield:
You talk funny Nash. Where you from?

Nash:
Lots of different places.

Ramirez:
The Kurgan. He is the strongest of all the immortals. He's the *PERFECT* warrior. If he wins the Prize mortal man would suffer an eternity of darkness.

Connor MacLeod:
How do you fight such a savage?

Ramirez:
With heart, faith and skill. In the end there can be only one.

Sunda Kastagir:
Macleod, it's good to see you again. It seems like a hundred years.

Connor MacLeod:
It's been a hundred years.

Ramirez:
You cannot die, MacLeod. Accept it.

Connor MacLeod:
I hate you!

Ramirez:
Good. That is a perfect way to start.

Connor MacLeod:
Help me, I'm drowning!

Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez:
You can't drown, you fool, you're immortal!

Angus MacLeod:
He's a Highlander, by God, and the last sound he hears should not be that of a wailing woman!

Angus MacLeod:
Can you walk, Connor?

Connor MacLeod:
I'll bloody well walk out of here!

Brenda:
I was hoping you could give me some advice.

Connor MacLeod:
Are you the kind of woman who takes advice?

Brenda:
Sometimes.

Connor MacLeod:
Advice about what?

Brenda:
What can you tell me about a seven foot lunatic hacking away with a broadsword at one o'clock in the morning, New York City, 1985?

Connor MacLeod:
...Not much.

Connor MacLeod:
What are you looking at, Rachel?

Rachel:
The eyes in the back of your head. People are asking about you. What am I supposed to tell them?

Connor MacLeod:
Simple. Tell them I'm immortal.

Rachel:
Will you listen to me for one moment? You can't hide your feelings from me! I've known you too long.

Connor MacLeod:
What feelings?

Rachel:
How about loneliness?

Connor MacLeod:
I'm not lonely. I've got everything I need right here.

Rachel:
Oh no you don't. You refuse to let anyone love you.

Connor MacLeod:
Love is for poets.

Connor MacLeod:
Hey, it's a kind of magic!

Kurgan:
Who is the woman?

Ramirez:
She's MINE!

Kurgan:
Ah! Not for much longer...

Kurgan:
You can't defeat me, Ramirez! I am the strongest!

Ramirez:
My cut has improved your voice!

Ramirez:
Haggis? What is haggis?

Connor MacLeod:
Sheep's stomach, stuffed with meat and barley.

Ramirez:
And what do you do with it?

Connor MacLeod:
You eat it.

Ramirez:
How revolting!

Priest:
This is a house of God. People are trying to pray. You're disturbing them.

Kurgan:
He cares about these helpless mortals?

Priest:
Of course He cares. He died for our sins.

Kurgan:
That shall be His undoing.

Connor MacLeod:
Whatever you say, Jack. You are the master race.

Connor MacLeod:
Nice to see you Kurgan. Who cuts your hair?

Kurgan:
I have something to say: it's better burn out, than to fade away.

Connor MacLeod:
I don't like boats. I don't like water. I'm a man not a fish.

Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez:
You must leave her, brother. I was born 2,437 years ago. In that time I've had three wives. The last was Shakiko, a Japanese Princess... When Shakiko died I was shattered. I would save you that pain. Please, let Heather go.

Connor MacLeod:
Ramirez's blade did not cut deeply enough. He was right about you. You're slime.

Kurgan:
Ramirez was an effete snob! He died on his knees. I took his head and raped his woman before his body was even cold.

Kurgan:
Ah, I see. Ramirez lied. She was not his woman. She was your woman. And she never told you. I wonder why. Perhaps I gave her something you never could, and secretly she yearned for my return.

Kurgan:
Happy Halloween, ladies!

Kurgan:
Hello, pretty...

Kurgan:
Don't ever speak to me.

Connor MacLeod:
Sweet Rachel, you always knew this would happen: Russel Nash dies tonight.

Connor MacLeod:
I have the power! Aye, the quickening that empowers me! I feel everything! I know... I know everything! I am everything!

Kurgan:
I know his name.

Detective:
[Opening the folder, taking out a black-and-white photograph of a man and setting it so Connor can see it] You ever see this guy before, Nash?

Detective:
His name's Vasilek, Polish national. Had his head chopped off in New Jersey two nights ago. You ever get over to New Jersey, Nash?

Connor:
Not if I can help it.

Garfield:
You talk funny, Nash. Where're you from?

Connor:
[To Garfield] Lots of different places.

Detective:
You're an antique dealer, right?

Connor:
Yes.

Detective:
Okay... [He reaches for the sword and brings it onto the table] ...what's that?

Connor:
[Almost sarcastically] A sword?

Garfield:
Wise up, smart-ass. [Connor shoots him a dirty look as he leans back.]

Detective:
It's a Toledo Salamanca broadsword, worth about a million bucks.

Connor:
So?

Detective:
So you wanna hear a theory?

Connor:
Yes.

Detective:
You were down that garage to buy this sword from that guy, whatshisname?

Connor:
I don't know, you tell me.

Detective:
Okay, his is Iman Fasil. You fought about the price and cut off his head.

Connor:
[Laughs briefly] Wanna hear another theory? This Fasil was so upset about the lousy wrestling tonight, he went down to the garage and in a fit of depression, cut off his own head.

Detective:
That's not funny, Walp.

Garfield:
You a f*ggot, Nash?

Connor:
Why, Garfield? You cruising for a piece of ass?

Garfield:
[Walks over to Connor] I'll tell you what happened, Russell. You went down to the garage for a blowj*b, and just didn't wanna pay for it.

Connor:
[Laughs briefly] You are sick. [Garfield punches him in the face. Connor recoils, then jumps out his chair, knocks it over, and races straight into Garfield, rugby-tackling him and driving him directly into the wall.]

Detective:
Hey, hey! HEY! STOP THAT!

Walp:
What you doing?

Walp:
[On Connor's right arm] What are you, crazy?! [Connor shoves him away, with such a force that knocks him to the floor and sliding across it, to the opposite wall.]

Detective:
[Angrily] BREAK IT UP! [Interposes himself between Connor and Garfield] That's enough! That's it! CUT IT OUT!

Connor:
[Walking over to the desk] Am I under arrest?

Detective:
Not yet.

Connor:
Then we're through. [He prepares to leave the interrogation room.]

Detective:
Hey! We're just getting started.

Connor:
You look like a woman, you stupid haggis!

Ramirez:
Haggis? What is haggis?

Connor:
Sheep's stomach, stuffed with meat and barley.

Ramirez:
And what do you do with it?

Connor:
You eat it!

Ramirez:
That's revolting!!

Ramirez:
Never overextend your thrust. You are vulnerable... and off balance!

[MacLeod stumbles to his knees while Ramirez places his blade on his neck. MacLeod's wife, Heather, laughs at the scene.]

MacLeod:
Heather, please!

Heather:
My beautiful man...my husband.

MacLeod:
I am that, my love.

Heather:
I've never really known...

MacLeod:
What?

Heather:
Why you stayed.

MacLeod:
Because I love you as much now as the first day we met

Heather:
And I love you. I don't want to die. I want to stay with you...forever.

MacLeod:
I want that, too.

Heather:
Will you do something for me, Connor?

MacLeod:
What, blossom?

Heather:
In the years to come, will you light a candle and remember me on my birthday?

MacLeod:
Aye, love. I will.

Heather:
I wanted to have your children.

MacLeod:
They would have been strong, and fine.

Heather:
Don't see me, Connor. [Heather hides her face.] Let me die in peace...where are we?

MacLeod:
We're in the Highlands. Where else? Darting down the mountainside, the sun is shining. It's not cold. You've got your sheepskins on...[MacLeod looks to see Heather dead in his arms, having peacefully passed] ...and the boots I made for you.

[We see Connor bury Heather later that day, and then leave Heather's grave-marker.]

MacLeod:
Good night, my bonny Heather.

SS-Officer:
[in German] You should be dead!

MacLeod:
Move!

SS-Officer:
[in German] No! First you'll have to shoot me!

MacLeod:
[laughs hoarsely] Whatever you say, Jack. You're the master race. [shoots him]

[MacLeod is inside a church, possibly in the Catholic denomination, very large interior, decorated with arches and columns, stained-glass windows and candles, and an altar draped in a purple tablecloth decorated with gold embroidery. He approaches a shrine, possibly dedicated to the Virgin Mary, lights a fresh prayer candle, and places it into one of the shrine's candle holding cups. He then drops to his knees, with his hands in front of the shrine.]

MacLeod:
[Very softly, whispering in some places, and somewhat sadly] For you, my bonny Heather. Happy Birthday. And you, Juan Ramirez... [with a near-invisible sense of laughter in his voice, as if remembering funny memories] take care of her, you overdressed haggis.

[The Kurgan enters the church, as MecLeod is sinking into one of the pews, on his own. As he enters, he struts over to the shrine, makes the sign of the cross, puts his hands together as if in prayer, and puts out the prayer candles, including the one MacLeod has just lit. He struts down the aisle and leans over a praying MacLeod.]

Kurgan:
[Hitting MacLeod on his shoulder] Kastagir is gone. Only you and I remain. [He sits down in the pew behind MacLeod.]

MacLeod:
[Turning round] Nice to see you, Kurgan. Who cut your hair?

Kurgan:
[Looks briefly at his badly-shaved head] I am in disguise. This way, no one will recognize me.

MacLeod:
[Laughs briefly] I do. What do you want?

Kurgan:
Your head. [MacLeod scoffs.] And the Prize. Watch...

[Two nuns walk by.]

Kurgan:
[Leering out of his pew] Happy Halloween, ladies! [He makes licking gestures with his tongue, and barks at the nuns. The nuns cross themselves, otherwise ignoring him, continuing up the aisle.] Nuns. No sense of humor.

MacLeod:
[Examining the horrible scar on the Kurgan's neck] Ramírez's blade did not cut deeply enough. [To the Kurgan] He was right about you. You're slime.

Kurgan:
[Loudly] Ramírez was an effete snob! He died on his knees. [In a bragging sort of manner] I took his head and raped his woman before his blood was even cold! [MacLeod absorbs the information, turning away. Disturbed people and choirboys start to leave. MacLeod faces the Kurgan again, angry now.] I see... Ramírez lied. She was not his woman. She was your woman, and she never told you. I wonder why? Perhaps I gave her something you never could... [MacLeod grabs him by the collar. He looks at MacLeod's hand.] ...and secretly, she yearned for my return! [He releases himself from MacLeod's grip. He rises, bringing MacLeod up with him.] Holy ground, Highlander! Remember what Ramírez taught you.

MacLeod:
You can't stay in here forever!

[The Kurgan sits down in the pew again.]

Kurgan:
You are weak, Highlander. You will always be weaker than I.

[MacLeod grabs Kurgan by the throat.]

MacLeod:
I'll be out front.

[Kurgan releases himself from Connor's grip once again.]

Kurgan:
Goodbye, MacLeod. We will meet soon enough.

[MacLeod leaves the church.]

Minister:
[Approaching the laughing Kurgan] For the love of God! These people are trying to pray. You're disturbing them.

Kurgan:
[With his hands folded behind his head, and his feet swung up on top of the pew MacLeod was sitting at] He cares for these helpless mortals?

Priest:
Of course He does. He died for our sins.

Kurgan:
That shall be His undoing. [He rises from his seat and takes the priest's hand.] Father, forgive me. I... am a worm. [He stoops, licks the priest's hand, and squeezes it. He prepares to leave, strutting back up the aisle, fastening his jacket, and then turns around.] [Loudly] I have something to say! It's better to burn out than to fade away! [He dances out of the church, cackling.]

Kastagir:
It seems like 100 years.

Conner:
It's been 100 years.

Connor Macleod:
[MacLeod's unanswered question to Ramirez, when he defeats him for the first time.] If it came down to just us two, would you take my head?

Connor Macleod:
I'm sorry I called your wife a bloated warthog [snickers] and I bid you good day.

Ramirez:
When only a few of us are left, we will feel an irresistible pull towards a far away land, to fight for The Prize.

Ramirez:
Sometimes, Macleod… the sharpest blade is not enough

Ramirez:
You cannot die, MacLeod. Accept it!

Ramirez:
[Explaining the rules of The Game] We must fight until only one remains. You are safe only on Holy Ground. None of us will violate that rule. It's tradition.

Ramirez:
[Explaining how one fights the Kurgan] With heart, faith and steel."

Kurgan follows brenda, after sensing MacLeod.. brenda follows Nash who waits for her before taking her up a side street, and being ambushed by the Kurgan for the first time. They fight briefly, before Kurgan slams MacLeod repeatedly into a steel waste pipe, and says.

KURGAN:
Nice to see you, MacLeod!.... Nice to see you.