Hill Street Blues

[repeated line]

Sergeant Phil Esterhaus:
Hey, let's be careful out there.

[repeated line]

Sergeant Stan Jablonski:
Let's do it to them before they do it to us.

[answering frequent phone calls]

Detective Mick Belker:
Belker. Hi, ma.

Detective Mick Belker:
I'm a police officer and you... are... BUSTED!

[repeated line]

Belker:
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

[repeated line]

Belker:
Sit, hairball!

[repeated line]

Belker:
Sit down, dog breath!

Rhonda:
[being brought into the precinct wearing cuffs] Can you get me outta here? It's my mother's birthday.

Danny Santana:
You got the wrong guy, Rhonda, I'm fired.

Rhonda:
What do you mean, fired?

Danny Santana:
I mean, the city council just did to me, what you get done to you all day.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
A call from whom?

Rollie Simone:
I don't know. A voice. Somebody who knew my number. I tell ya, I get a call like that, I listen.

Det. Sal Benedetto:
But you didn't recognize it?

Rollie Simone:
It was dark. I couldn't hear so good.

Window washer:
[Frank and Joyce are about to kiss in a hotel room when there's a knock on the window] Window washer, sorry!

Det. Sal Benedetto:
What do I need? A lear jet to banana-land, a case of suntan oil, and Mrs. Dobson here to be blonde and twenty years old. [laughs] How's my chances?

Jesus Martinez:
[to the Shamrocks] We gonna napalm this whole neighborhood!

Officer J.D. LaRue:
I almost died today... [breaks down sobbing] and I don't have anyone to talk to.

Det. Neal Washington:
Come on, babe, come on, come on, [hugs J.D] It's alright.

Jesus Martinez:
[thinking the Shamrocks kidnapped his sister] You better get a priest, CUZ YOU'RE DEAD!

Sgt. Howard Hunter:
[during Roll Call] Sgt. Stanis Jablonski, Metro Police, retired, is going hunting with several of our colleagues.

Sgt. Lucy Bates:
They're going out to kill Bambi. [laughter and murmering from the other cops] They're going out to slaughter poor defenceless creatures.

Officer J.D. LaRue:
Hey, if you can eat it, you can kill it.

Sgt. Lucy Bates:
Wanna keep your personal life to yourself, LaRue?

Sgt. Howard Hunter:
Item six, a memo from division: since the new copy machines have been installed, printing costs from all precincts have risen over 300 per cent. Starting noon today, the copier will accept only those documents that have been stamped with a police identification code. [rumbling from the cops in attendance] Further more, the department will absorb the cost of four, and only four, reprints. Any number over four, and it's your nickle.

Officer J.D. LaRue:
Hey sarge, sergeant, are you aware that the D.A.'s office is asking for five copies of all arrest reports?

Sgt. Howard Hunter:
Which is why God invented carbon paper, detective.

Lt. Norman Buntz:
You know something, I just had a birthday.

Sid Thurston:
Happy birthday, how old are you?

Lt. Norman Buntz:
I just had a birthday waiting for you to get to the point.

Lt. Norman Buntz:
[referring to Furillo] The guy's good at what he does, but he dresses like a real loser.

Det. Neal Washington:
I just came from your house, even the cockroaches moved out!

Det. Neal Washington:
[after entering barbershop] Police. Charles Morris work here?

Barbershop Owner:
I don't see him. [instructing his intern] Keep it even, Tony.

Officer J.D. LaRue:
What time do you expect him to become visible?

Fabian DeWitt:
[Fabian's two older sisters are in detention and in the morgue] Tell me something: who I got now? Who'm I gonna cook for now? [breaks down and cries]

Lt. Howard Hunter:
[grinning] I am giddy with excitement.

Floyd Green:
Still alive, Clive?

Floyd Green:
[shouting at Davenport] You're lying, you phoney old b*tch!

Det. Neal Washington:
[finds two boxes filled with stolen airline tickets] Lookie here, lookie here: one way to Felony-land.

Det. Henry Goldblume:
[strapped with dynamite] I have a selfish interest in this, I don't want to get blown up.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
Goodbye, Sweetheart. Pop will take care of you now.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
The doctor said she didn't suffer... [breaks down crying] And I'm gonna miss her so much!

Officer Bobby Hill:
What's your name?

Kid:
Speedboat!

Officer Bobby Hill:
Not your street name, your real name.

Kid:
I'm Bobby.

Officer Bobby Hill:
Bobby? Hey, you know, that's my real name, too.

Kid:
I like Speedboat!

Renko:
I swear, I cannot figure out how those little Munchkin like legs got down to those pedals and saw to drive. [pats Speedboat on the head]

Speedboat:
[slaps away Renko's hand] I'll kill you for that, Pork Chop!

J.D. LaRue:
[Farnsworth is trying to sell better protection for the flame on Belker's father's grave but J.D. grabs him by the lapels] Now you take your all-weather wind break, your copper delivery system and you three quarter inch wick and you cram it, Farnsworth! Now, he ain't springing for dime one. Now I've got a perfect view of this cut-rate boneyard of yours from the 36th street overpass every day on my way to work. Alright, now I don't care it's four O'clock in the morning, there's a hurricane blowing out here. I catch the flame on my partner's dad's grave out for one second, and you're gonna be perpetually eternally dead. Not perpetually, not eternally, but perpetually eternally dead! Now you got it?

Rob:
If not for your sake, then do it for hers? Peg'd sleep a lot better...

J.D. LaRue:
Peg'd sleep a lot better if you weren't getting it on with that little cookie in there.

Lt. Howard Hunter:
[to Lucy Bates] I was wondering if we could have a little verbal... mano a mano. [Lucy looks confused]... A Talk.

Officer Lucy Bates:
Sure, about what?

Sgt. Mick Belker:
[filling out arrest report] What's your name?

Pickpocket:
F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
What's the F. stand for?

Pickpocket:
Francis.

Hal Massey:
Frank, listen. Believe me, nothing is going to change between you and little Frank.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
[defensive] His name is Frank Jr.

Fay Furillo:
Well, excuse me, mister, but it's very hard to tell who's name is Frank Jr. here, from the way you're behaving.

Sal Binachi:
[referring to Sgt. Bates] Sergeant Buns around today?

Lt. Norman Buntz:
[Buntz walks up] Eh, that would be Lieutenant Buntz.

Sal Binachi:
Ah-ah. Blondie, tall drink of water. Tell her Sal's lookin' for her.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
Miss Davenport, you're as far from a dirtbag as they come.

Joyce Davenport:
Thank you.

Dr. Stuart:
So, officer Bates... you come here often? [Lucy's look indicates she's in no mood for flirting] What happened?

Sgt. Lucy Bates:
I knocked this kid out with my ribs.

Officer Andrew Renko:
Yeah, just like my grandpapa used to say: "You put your shoes in the oven, but that don't make 'em biscuits."

Capt. Frank Furillo:
J.D. you lie the way the rest of us breathe.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
I wonder how he managed to handle two wives, emotionally.

Joyce Davenport:
When you couldn't even manage one?

Myrna Schnitz:
I hope you enjoy this, Leo. I hope this is worth a life without sex.

Wilma:
Police don't believe no one 'less they white. No matter nothin' they freaks and junkies and neck-suckin' vampires, long as they white neck-suckin' vampires.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
Bates, tell Kevin here that goin' into a cell is your standard vampire procedure, you tell 'em.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
You're soaking wet.

Joyce Davenport:
I drove to the shore and back.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
With the top down?

Joyce Davenport:
It stuck. [gives a small combination laugh/cry] I couldn't get it up.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
[takes out small mirror] See that? Now if you're a vampire, how come you cast a reflection? Huh?

Kevin Herman Dracula:
I don't see anything.

Officer Andrew Renko:
[looks in the lineup room] Oh God, that's him! [Bobby looks] That guy on the right, on the right, that's the man that shot me!

Capt. Frank Furillo:
You're sure?

Officer Andrew Renko:
[breaks into a sweat, almost hysterical] I could pick his face out of a 200 mile lineup!

Capt. Frank Furillo:
You're being charged with the attempted homicide of two officers during the commission of a felony. You're also charged with possession of heroin at the time of arrest. We're now going to transfer you to the Michigan Avenue Complex.

Eddie Hoban:
I swear to God, man, I didn't shoot anybody!

Det. Henry Goldblume:
It's gonna be okay, son. [Eddie was comfort by Henry]

Captain Freedom:
[jumps on the hood of a car] Stop this criminal act!

Capt. Frank Furillo:
You set me up. You put me in the jackpot. You used me!

Chief Fletcher Daniels:
Of course I did, so what? I'm the chief and you're the captain.

Judge Maurice Schiller:
[Belker is growling at lawyer Wachtel during night court] Would Detective Belker kindly put a muzzle on?

Tony Marino:
[glancing at the man in the cell next to him] What did he do?

Officer Leo Schnitz:
That's the cop killer. Something you got in common.

Tony Marino:
He don't look like much.

Officer Leo Schnitz:
The similarities continue.

Lt. Howard Hunter:
When a warrior falls, there is no anguish more profound than that of his shield bearer.

Asst. Dist. Atty. Irwin Bernstein:
I don't mean this to sound cold, but I had some business at the morgue this morning and I heard a rumor that he wasn't... 'dancing alone when the big one hit'.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
You wanna make love?

Joyce Davenport:
It could cost you your life.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
I'll risk it.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
I don't have too many words, people... It's gonna be a difficult day. I know the caution Phil would urge on you: be careful out there.

Jorge:
Do I look like a kidnapper to you?

Officer J.D. LaRue:
Man, with your breath, I don't think you could get close enough to anybody to kidnap 'em.

Sgt. Lucy Bates:
What do you know about this horse over here?

The Cisco Kid:
[wearing a western outfit, a sombrero and carrying a saddle] How should I know anything about a horse?

Officer Joe Coffey:
[wearing riot gear, facing a group of looters] Just because there's a power failure, doesn't mean the laws are canceled.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
What can I do for you?

Fay Furillo:
Get a divorce and marry me?

Sgt. Phil Esterhaus:
Alright, that's it, let's roll. Hey! [holds up index finger] Lets be careful out there.

Joyce Davenport:
Are you quite finished?

Officer J.D. LaRue:
No ma'am, I never seem to quite finish for hours and hours...

Officer Bobby Hill:
[finding their squad car stolen, Renko's furious, trying to calm him down] Renko, we lose a couple of cars a month.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
Alright! 3 years ago I bit off a nose, one lousy nose! And I'm branded for life! You think I don't know what you call me? Belker the Biter!

Capt. Frank Furillo:
[finding out two cops went to the wrong address, arrested an innocent man, and beat him with a board, issuing them to release him] Don't hurt him anymore. Don't touch him. Don't even shake his hand!

Chief Daniels:
[enters Frank's office] Did you get a call from this 'Spanish Daily Bugle'?

Capt. Frank Furillo:
[correcting him] Latin Daily Signal.

Sgt. Phil Esterhaus:
Your uncustomary silence testifies amply to the esteem in which we hold the subject of this last item. Now we all know who's in here. [points to a green urn] To most people this would seem just a common urn, but we know it holds one of the premier phone installers of the country: Officer Marvin Oliver Box, or simply Marve, as we knew him. Born, 16 May, 1946, deceased, just last Tuesday, in this very room, with uniform on, and drillbit in hand. Marve must have known that he would be leaving us soon, because we found a small poem in his will, which we've had inscribed on this, this vessel here. [picks up the urn to read the inscription] Uh, "I've laid a lot of cable, and I've strung a lot of line, sure it gets lonely, but that's okay, because it brings people closer together." Per his final will and testament, Marve was cremated yesterday at Bolinsky's Crematorium, and he will lie in state besides the squad room coffee machine for the remainder of the afternoon. [pause] Marve, let's roll, huh? And let's be careful up there. [looks up]

Sgt. Mick Belker:
I don't need any help.

Security Guard:
You're not dealing with untrained personnel here, I mean, I got college credits in police science.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
You study English, too?

Security Guard:
Yeah, so?

Sgt. Mick Belker:
So how come you don't understand when I tell you to take off?

Joyce Davenport:
Look on the plus side. The station's still standing, a prostitute killer's off the street... and somebody decked the Chief. I'd say it was a break-even day.

[last lines]

Sergeant Jenkins:
Hey, Norm. Can you believe that? With all the fire and everything else, this old place is still sound.

Lt. Norman Buntz:
Yeah. Believe that. [leaves]

Sergeant Jenkins:
[answering phone] Hill Street.

Furillo:
Smart move, LaRue. You went out on an important operation in a unit with no brakes. How do you explain that? Maybe I can explain it for you.

Detective J.D. La Rue:
Hey. Wa - wa -

Furillo:
[removes bottle from LaRue's shirt] You're a drunk, my friend. And because you're a drunk, you're a screwup. And I'm through waiting for you to change. You got a couple of choices, pal. Either this, or you call a Lieutenant Johnson down at Division and you say to him, "I'm a drunk, and I want to change." You got that? "I want to change." Otherwise, you're out of this police department, and I mean now. [hands bottle back to LaRue]

Fay Furillo:
[happier than usual] You know, getting mugged is the best thing that's happened to me since our divorce, Frank.

Furillo:
Gee, thanks.

Officer Joe Coffey:
[driving a patrol car] You wanna get married, Lucy?

Officer Lucy Bates:
I can't today, Joe.

Det. Neal Washington:
Look at you, you're half juiced!

Detective J.D. La Rue:
Hey man, hey man, you come on now, I'm gonna tell you something. I haven't had... [waits for Furillo & Calletano to walk past] I haven't had a drink all day. One drink. Ok, one drink, all day.

Det. Neal Washington:
Yeah, one drink out of a bowl!

Officer J.D. LaRue:
[having just received the tip he needs from Sid] Sid, you are beautiful.

Sid Thurston:
Heh. From certain angles.

Sid Thurston:
Norm, while you were out 'going hollywood', I was providing Detectives LaRue and Washington with invaluable information.

Lt. Norman Buntz:
Don't tell me: you solved the Marilyn Monroe case.

Sgt. Phil Esterhaus:
You're both reassigned to foot patrol.

Carmichael:
Foot patrol? But it's cold out there!

Sgt. Mick Belker:
Sorry Captain, he just wouldn't leave me alone.

Fay Furillo:
He had all my drawers pulled out, he pulled down my bedspread, he stole my underwear!

Capt. Frank Furillo:
Did you touch anything?

Fay Furillo:
No, I used to be married to a cop, I know what to do.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
This girl worked at the Heads and Tails Club. She was a veteran prostitute at the ripe old age of 15, now she didn't get EITHER place by herself.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
[about the cop Belker bit] Any teeth marks?

Det. Henry Goldblume:
No, looks like a clean bite.

Joyce Davenport:
Frank, I wanna see you make commander. And for more reasons than just the shape of your nose.

Tommy Donahue:
How could, you Guid? I was your friend.

Lt. Norman Buntz:
That's good, Tommy. Any time you use that word, keep it in the past tense, 'cause I don't want no confusion.

[last lines]

Lt. Howard Hunter:
[settling down for the night in a stable to watch over his sick horse Apollo] I'm here, boy.

Joyce Davenport:
I'm told they give you valium here.

Celestine Grey:
Yeah, what, ten milligrams? Ten milligrams I couldn't get my thumb to sleep if I was sitting on it!

Renko:
[acting as Bobby Hill's boxing coach] No pain, no gain, don't be lame, don't go insane.

LaRue:
[trying to cheer Hunter up by changing the subject] Bobby's gonna put that bum in four different hospitals.

Washington:
[Bobby's boxing match is about to commence] This guy is a real chump, Bobby.

LaRue:
He couldn't hit the ground falling out of a tree.

[J.D. and Neal step down from the ring]

LaRue:
[out of Bobby's earshot] Bobby's dead.

Washington:
Simmons'll kill 'em.

William Mullins:
Ain't no big deal, man, I be high in an hour. Then I got me some business to take care of.

Det. Neal Washington:
You ain't doing business no more, chump, you got that? You are getting done to!

Fay Furillo:
How are you doing?

Capt. Frank Furillo:
I've been better...

Capt. Frank Furillo:
I know, but have you ever been any worse?

Lt. Ray Calletano:
I have been left in charge and I am the boss.

Lt. Howard Hunter:
Oh, no, no, no, Raimundo, I am the boss. [smiles]

Lt. Ray Calletano:
[annoyed] I am the boss, Howard.

Lt. Howard Hunter:
Oh, I'm not arguing rank, compadre, it's inflection. You're stressing the wrong word. It's not 'I am the boss', it's 'I am the boss'. [big smile]

Lt. Ray Calletano:
You are a jerk!

Joyce Davenport:
Irwin, you flirt.

Irwin Bernstein:
[small chuckle] Eh, Bernstein's rule number one: never flirt with a woman whose husband carries a gun.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
[about his pet mouse, Mickey] Have you ever noticed how some dogs immediately take to fire engines? Well, this little guy's got a real talent for police work. I met him on a stakeout. Just the two of us, up in an attic alone for nine hours. The whole time this little guy never made a peep.

Lt. Howard Hunter:
[about Belker's pet mouse] His name's Mickey?

Sgt. Mick Belker:
Yeah.

Lt. Howard Hunter:
[realizing] Mouse? [smiles]

Sgt. Mick Belker:
Not Mickey Mouse, Mickey Belker!

Det. Henry Goldblume:
Don't worry, Fay. Running away from home is as American as apple pie.

Fay Furillo:
You know, I had an erotic dream about you the other night. Do you ever dream about me?

Capt. Frank Furillo:
[smiles] I've been known to.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
I got half a dozen report cards from civilians who seem to think you're a couple of out-patients from county psychiatric; what the hell's wrong with you?

Officer Andrew Renko:
I want to go into plainclothes; Esterhaus promised me he'd talk to you about it.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
Alright, let's run the request up to division; you know you'll have to leave the precinct. [to Bobby] What about you? What's your problem?

Officer Bobby Hill:
[about Renko] Him.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
Fine! Then it's solved: you're divorced.

Officer Bobby Hill:
[turns around, shocked] Just like that?

Capt. Frank Furillo:
You got it, Hill, just like that. [Bobby turns back to the window]

Capt. Frank Furillo:
I've seen this before, don't think you're the only ones. You walked in the wrong doorway and got smacked, you both ought to be dead. Not because you screwed up, and not because you're bad cops, you're not, in fact you're exceptionally good, but it happens. And if you survive, it's never like it was, it's always with you: the what ifs, which one of us failed? The shame, embarrassment, the anger, and most of all, the fear of going back out there.

Officer Andrew Renko:
It doesn't faze me, Captain.

Officer Bobby Hill:
That's bull! You were scared out of your socks, turn on that light switch?

Officer Andrew Renko:
Who's telling who who's scared?

Officer Bobby Hill:
Sure I was, I can admit it, Renko, I've got no problem with that.

Officer Andrew Renko:
Then admit it! You're SWIMMING in it! Alright, so I'm nervous out there, big deal, you just make me plainclothes and I'll get over that REAL FAST.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
Until I hear otherwise, Phil will be finding you separate duty assignments. [leaves the room]

Officer Bobby Hill:
[sees Renko tearing up] Oh man, don't start that. [Renko starts crying, Bobby starts crying] Will you stop that?

Officer Andrew Renko:
Don't tell me what to do. You wouldn't last more than 10 minutes out there without me anyway.

Officer Bobby Hill:
Oh yeah? I haven't been doing too good with you anyway. [they look at each other and start laughing, then resume crying] Oh man!

Officer Andrew Renko:
[stands up and grabs Hill] We need each other, Bobby. [hugs him]

Officer Bobby Hill:
[smiling] I'm afraid we do, Cowboy.

Officer Andrew Renko:
Look, uh, why don't we just go get something to eat and uh, go back to work?

Officer Bobby Hill:
Yeah.

Sgt. Phil Esterhaus:
Before I get to the last item, I'd like to interject a personal observation. Seems we've reached a new low, graffiti-wise, in the men's and women's lavatories. Now, as an organization of mature men and women, I suggest that we clean up our act, our vocabulary, at the very least, our spelling. To the anonymous bathroom poet, breast is generally spelled: b r e A s t.

Felon:
[Henry has brought a stray dog into the precinct] Sir, sir, I love dogs and I could really help you out. For instance, I could take him for a walk, right away if you'd like. [a female officer closes the cell door and locks him in]

Officer Leo Schnitz:
Very creative, Seymour.

Officer Harris:
[Harris and Fuentes have been beaten up and their guns were stolen ] What if one of those guns kills a cop?

Capt. Frank Furillo:
Harris, there are enough guns out there to kill every one of us a dozen times over. I don't give a rat's bladder about your guns!

Capt. Frank Furillo:
[finding out two new cops got jumped and their guns stolen and are planning to return with baseball bats] Gentlemen, I've been a cop for 17 years, and I've been to my share of 'softball games', so why don't we stop trying to kid a kidder?

Capt. Frank Furillo:
Guy makes me wanna wash.

Joyce Davenport:
Who, Daniels?

Capt. Frank Furillo:
You hate to be on the same side with him even for different reasons. He gives you that knowing grin.

Lt. Howard Hunter:
What is it like, being a hebrew?

Det. Henry Goldblume:
Well, I don't know, Howard. What's it like being a human being?

Joyce Davenport:
[as Wachtel is getting arrested in the precinct] Nice cufflinks, Alan. Morals charge, or just felony bad taste?

Second Neighbor:
[Hill & Renko have been called to an apartment where two toddlers have been left unattended] She's down the street in a tavern.

Officer Bobby Hill:
The mother?

Second Neighbor:
That's right, that's where she goes.

Officer Bobby Hill:
Then why didn't someone say something before we broke the door in?

Lt. Ray Calletano:
[on dispatch phone] Three undercover officers on the same bus? Who are they protecting, each other?

Renko:
[about Shirret] You know, I trust that woman about as far as I can spit canal water.

Fay Furillo:
[close to tears] I swear, Frank, I get more support from my pantyhose than I do from the cops in this garbage dump of a city!

Renko:
[facing a giant woman swinging wooden board] Now look here, lady, I'm bigger than you are...

Coffey:
[moves in front of Renko] No you're not. All right, Louella, enough's enough. We're gonna take you in. [Louella remains calm] Lucy, slap the cuffs on her. [walks to the door]

Renko:
We'll just wait outside, darlin'. [Hill, Renko and Coffey leave Lucy facing Louella her own]

Sgt. Stan Jablonski:
[having dismissed the officers at the end of rollcall] Hey! [everybody stops and turns] Lets be careful out there.

Fay Furillo:
Midge says that I am surprising my true, Amazonian sexuality.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
Oh, Midge Dolson can go suppress her... face.

Sylvia Selson:
You know what it's like when a man with no hips tells you he loves you?

Off. Patrick Flaherty:
Not for anything, ma'am.

Det. Neal Washington:
[adressing Furillo] Captain, nothing on house to house on the Temkin street killing, sir.

Officer J.D. LaRue:
Now wait a second, Neal, we did help that old lady get her husband's raindeer sweater back.

Ramon Mendez:
You've got to make it.

Sylvia Selson:
Tell my kidneys.

Officer Robert 'Bobby' Hill:
Where's Wash?

Officer John 'J.D.' LaRue:
Doin' a Rumba with Sal Benedetto. How the hell would I know?

Det. Neal Washington:
[Benedetto has shot Sonny Crocket multiple times] The man's dead.

Det. Sal Benedetto:
Yeah, I knew something was wrong with him.

Det. Sal Benedetto:
You want a free shot, hm? [closes his eyes as if expecting a punch]

Officer Andrew Renko:
Maybe some time at night, when your back's turned.

Capt. Jerry Fuchs:
[Benedetto has been temporarily transferred to the Hill without Captain Fuch's notice] Gee, eh, my phone must have been out of order.

Chief Fletcher Daniels:
If I had wanted you at this meeting, Jerry, you'd have been notified.

Carlotta:
[explaining the disturbance to Hill and Renko] they won't listen, they won't mind, what am I supposed to do?

Carlotta:
[crying, explaining why she hit her grandfather] He got confused and put a pork chop down the sink, I had a whole meal laid out. Now the plumbing's backed up. I'm a telephone operator, I make $223 a WEEK, if I pay a plumber I can't afford his medicine.

Joyce Davenport:
[referring to Chief Fletcher] I hate it when that man smiles.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
Good instincts.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
[William Mullins has been threatening Joyce in front of Furillo] If she ever hears from you, if she even sees you across a crowded street, you better pray she stays healthy, my friend. You better pray she doesn't even catch a cold, or trip and turn an ankle, because I swear to you, if anything happens to my wife, I'll kill you.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
[Detective Brooks has been murdered while working undercover] I told you, but you wouldn't listen. I told you we shoulda pulled him out of there right after the warehouse bust. I begged you. And on the phone, when he didn't show up for his wire, he kept telling me to "wait"...

Lt. Ray Calletano:
Mick, it wouldn't have changed anything.

Sgt. Mick Belker:
How do we know that? He had it all ahead of him, and you threw his life away. His death is on your head.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
They all are, Mick.

Lt. Howard Hunter:
Doggone it, Phil, I have proven myself a first rate nimrod from Dartmouth to Da Nang. And I'll be damned if I'll be crucified for one wet squib!

Chief Fletcher Daniels:
Frank, bring me proof of any of these allegations and you know that I'll support you tighter than a brown jockstrap.

Officer J.D. LaRue:
[Goldblume is having marriage problems] You tried hitting her, Henry?

Det. Henry Goldblume:
Great John, you're a huge help.

Officer J.D. LaRue:
I know my women, Henry.

Det. Henry Goldblume:
Your women?

[J.D. nods]

Det. Henry Goldblume:
You haven't had a meaningful relationship with a woman since your mother quit breastfeeding you.

Captain Freedom:
Stop this criminal act, or I shall be forced to use violence!

Det. Henry Goldblume:
[to Furillo after three teenage boys are arrested for a brutal barroom massacre] Where do you put your hate?

Det. Neal Washington:
Hey J.D., we gotta get back to the precinct, babe. Somethin' about a missing heart.

Officer J.D. LaRue:
That's not fatal. Rob's lived with that for years.

Albert Desjardin:
This has not been a great day in the life of Albert Desjardin, Captain.

Rodriguez:
[Buntz & Rodriguez are captured and tied to chairs] He's going to kill us...

Lt. Norman Buntz:
He's a worm, I'll eat this guy. Every minute we stay alive, our odds improve. You just fight 'em.

Duvivier:
Give me the damn goat, man, stop this nonsense!

Sgt. Mick Belker:
Listen barn-breath, no damn picture, no damn goat.

Lt. Norman Buntz:
I thought I might go by and see... see Mrs. Rodriguez. I just want her to know that he stood up there and he didn't flinch. He was an honor to the badge.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
I'm sure she'd appreciate hearing that.

Lt. Norman Buntz:
Yeah, well, it's a lie, but at least it's something.

J.D. LaRue:
[gazing at reporter Cynthia Chase] She wants me so bad, it's eating her up inside. She just doesn't realize it yet.

Capt. Frank Furillo:
[Fay is complaining about a 10 dollar parking ticket before lunchtime ] I'll take care of the parking ticket.

Fay Furillo:
[hushed voice, glancing left and right] You mean... fix it?

Capt. Frank Furillo:
No, I mean pay it.

Det. Henry Goldblume:
[on payphone] Mick, you ever wish you could get even with your High School bully?

Sgt. Mick Belker:
[on other line at police station] I did.

Det. Henry Goldblume:
[smiles] Well, this is gonna be better.