Holiday Engagement

Sophie:
Dude, that man is a serious snag.

Hillary Burns:
I know, I know.

Sophie:
His on-line dating profile would be so perfect, no one would believe it: "Tall, dark, handsome lawyer who's responsible and financially sound." Please!

Hillary Burns:
And I finally have a man to take home for the holidays. I don't have to listen to my mother preach to me about how I'm gonna be a spinster, or a lesbian.

Sophie:
Or both.

Hillary Burns:
[seeing the family house filled with people] Oh, my god. I thought you said this was family only.

Meredith Burns:
Well, I didn't want the whole town to think that you were going to be a spinster forever.

Meredith Burns:
Honey, I'm sorry if I seem a little anxious. It's just that I have been deprived of planning the weddings for not one but two of my daughters.

Joy Burns:
Here we go!

Meredith Burns:
Can't you girls understand that a mother wants to plan her daughters' weddings? Since you were babies I dreamed of this, and then to find out that Trisha eloped to an island.

Meredith Burns:
So what's going on with you and Jason?

Hillary Burns:
Nothing.

Meredith Burns:
My point exactly. For two young lovebirds, I don't see much affection. No kiss. No hug.

Hillary Burns:
Mom, he's just not a touchy-feely guy. Don't worry about it.

Meredith Burns:
Well, I just want to be able to see your marriage succeed, you know? Most marriages fall apart first in the bedroom. You know, your father and I make love three times a week.