Honeymoon in Vegas

Jack Singer:
Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red. Yellow then red.

Roy:
We're the Flying Elvises. Utah chapter.

Roy Bacon:
Elvises, light your fires.

Jack Singer:
People get married and then they do the most hideous, unbelievable things to each other.

Jack Singer:
Do you know what a straight flush is? It's like... unbeatable.

Betsy:
"Like unbeatable" is not unbeatable.

Jack Singer:
Hey, I know that now, okay.

Mahi Mahi:
My name Mahi. Mahi Mahi.

Jack Singer:
Like the fish?

Mahi Mahi:
Yeah. My father was a fisherman.

Jack Singer:
My father left home when I was 5. That's why I'm named Jack, as in, "Jack tell your mother I'm just going out to get the paper."

Jack Singer:
I dreamt about my mother again last night.

Betsy:
Was she vacuuming naked?

Jack Singer:
No. She opened her eyes and I said, 'Mom, I'm gonna marry that girl,' and she smiled.

Betsy:
Really?

Jack Singer:
Yeah. Of course she was naked.

would you stop crucifying me already?!

Ticket agent:
Please, sir, if you don't get back in line...

Jack Singer:
Then, what? I'll be arrested? Put in airport jail?!

Mahi Mahi:
Chief Orman have pretty big influence around here.

Jack Singer:
Influence? He lives in a SHACK!

Jack Singer:
Betsy, hi, so what's the story?

Betsy:
I have to pack.

Jack Singer:
We can leave! What did you work out?

Betsy:
Um, he's taking me to Hawaii. It's only for a few days.

Jack Singer:
Come on. You're so like blithe about this all of a sudden, like you don't give a damn.

Betsy:
Of course I give a damn but this was not my idea okay, Jack? Poker was not my idea.

Jack Singer:
Would you please stop crucifying me with this?

Betsy:
Where's my bag?

Jack Singer:
He's going to jump all over you the second he gets there.

Betsy:
I won't let him. Oh please, Jack, give me a little credit.

Jack Singer:
He'll overcome you. What happens if you start screaming? It's like a jungle over there. He probably has servants and bodyguards and believe me they will drug you.

Betsy:
His son is going to be there, Jack. His granddaughter Tiffany will be there.

Jack Singer:
She knows the kid's name already. Listen, you'll be back Monday?

Betsy:
I don't know. Probably Tuesday or Wednesday.

Jack Singer:
Tuesday or Wednesday? That's almost a week!

Betsy:
What, you expect us to fly back and forth to Hawaii in 2 days?

Jack Singer:
Us? Already it's us.

Betsy:
Oh don't be infantile. I'm trying to make the best of this.