Hope & Faith

Hayley:
What happened to the curtains?

Faith:
Oh! I got rid of them. And you're welcome!

Hope:
I made those curtains!

Faith:
Oh, good. Then they weren't worth anything.

Hope:
You got the ring?

Faith:
Yeah. But I had to lick her finger to get it off!

Judge:
You're out of order!

Faith:
I'm out of order? You're out of order! This whole trial is out of order! [to herself] Hey, this is just like the movie!

Faith:
[Faith is dragged out of the courtroom by a baliff] Attica! Attica! Attica!

Hope:
That's a cute top!

Sydney Shanowski:
Thanks!

Hope:
But I bet you like the one in your backpack even better!

Sydney Shanowski:
Way... I mean, what?

Faith:
[calling up the stairs] Justin, come play beauty pagent with Aunt Faith again.

Faith:
I gave "The Sacred and the Sinful" the best years of my life, and how do they repay me? With a cheesy evil twin murder-suicide!

Hope:
Don't worry you'll get another show, your a famous soap star.

Faith:
I'm a 28 year old has been.

Hope:
Your 33.

Faith:
Would you Shh.

Charley Shanowski:
...and now I'm going to take a cold shower and think of the Golden Girls naked.

Sydney Shanowski:
Everyone thinks I'm just some dumb, pretty girl.

Charley Shanowski:
Nope, that's your Aunt Faith.

Faith Fairfield:
Ahh, you think I'm pretty?

Faith:
Hope got caught smoking in the Ladies' Room.

Charley Shanowski:
What? Why?

Faith:
Perhaps she heard Britney Asparagus Spears does it and thinks it's cool. It's not, Hope, it's Lindsay Lame-Ham.

Faith:
You're forgetting about another young man whom everyone thought was dead, only to rise up and become even more popular.

Charley Shanowski:
Are you comparing yourself to Jesus?

Faith:
No, John Travolta.

Faith Fairfield:
Hope, if you don't want people reading your journal, you shouldn't leave it on the top shelf of your closet, underneath those four blankets and inside that lock box!

Hope:
[after Faith bumps into her] You did that on purpose!

Faith:
Would you like some cheese to go with your whine?

Hope:
Yeah, I'll take a pound of cottage cheese. Right out of your thighs.

Charley Shanowski:
The Gooch is back and Faith's moving out? I'M WALKING ON AIR!

Gary:
What a lively addition you'll make...to Rancho Viejo... "the retirement community that's one step short of heaven."

Hope:
This is an electronic baby. It's to show teenagers how hard it is to be a mother.

Faith:
Honey, why don't you just show them your stretch marks?

Hope:
For the same reason we don't show pictures of your old nose.

Faith:
Your right. Oh, god.[Cries]

Hope:
It's okay sweetie.

Faith:
How can you say that I have nothing to wear tomorrow?

Hope:
It's okay I'll lend you something.

Faith:
[At what Hope has suggested] Ahhh[cries] .