Hot Shots! Part Deux

Harbinger:
I can kill again! You've given me a reason to live.

Harbinger:
War... it's fantastic!

Saddam Hussein:
Now I will kill you until you die from it!

Ramada Rodham Hayman:
I had to come. It was a sequel.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
It seems like only yesterday I was strafing so many of your homes. Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars.

Topper Harley:
These men have a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them...

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Cookie?

Col. Denton Walters:
No thank you, sir.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Young lady?

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
No, I was just offering him a young lady.

Rufshaad:
I can see you're no stranger to pain.

Col. Denton Walters:
I've been married.

Rufshaad:
Ah.

Col. Denton Walters:
*Twice*.

Rufshaad:
Oy!

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
We'll do this the old navy way. First one to die... loses!

Topper Harley:
I want to meet your parents and pat your dog...

Ramada Rodham Hayman:
My parents are dead Topper, my dog ate them.

Topper Harley:
President Benson.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
No you're not. I've seen him on TV. An older man, about my height.

Michelle Huddleson:
Mr. President, this is Topper Harley.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Topper Harley, of course, the son I never had. No wonder I didn't recognize you then.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Gotcha! Listening at the door, huh? Well, Walters, looks like we've got our saboteur.

Col. Denton Walters:
That's your wife, sir.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Yeah, so it is. Lavinia. You're looking as lovely as the day we met.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Find out what she knows.

Topper Harley:
Colonel, who are they?

Col. Denton Walters:
She's CIA. The other man's an extra.

Michelle Huddleson:
Now we have to go in to get the men who went in to get the men who went in to get the men.

News Reporter:
President Benson, where's your first lady?

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
I don't know. I've had lots of women. Lost my flower at the age of 15. I can't keep track.

News Anchorman:
In an emotional address at the state capitol Nebraska Governor, Paul Burmaster made a public apology for his state being so flat.

Topper Harley:
Of all the missions in all the jungles you had to walk into this one.

Topper Harley:
You're joking.

Ramada Rodham Hayman:
I'm not.

Topper Harley:
You've got to be.

Ramada Rodham Hayman:
If I was joking I would say: "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Every time I give an order, it gets screwed up! Plan a reception, wrong hors d'oeuvres. Appoint an ambassador, he leaves the country.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Here's the target area.

Bob Vila:
That's Minnesota, sir.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home.

Bob Vila:
Sir, the enemy is over there.

President Thomas 'Tug' Benson:
Then we'll fly them over here. Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... Do I have to think of everything?

Topper Harley:
I'm not saying I don't trust you, and I'm not saying I do. But I don't.

Ramada Rodham Hayman:
Topper, I was so young, just a schoolgirl. He was an older man, so wise in the ways of the world. He used to come around the schoolyard, day after day. I so admired his persistence. Even the restraining order my parents slapped on him was no deterrent. He opened my eyes to the arts: music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania. His work has meant so much to so many. And I owe him everything, Topper. Everything.

Topper Harley:
I'm happy for you, kid. But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong. I left my heart in my other pants.

Michelle Rodham Huddleston:
Oh, Ramada, how could you have been so blind? You were too wrapped up in being Miss Perfect College to notice me. Why concern yourself with the feelings of one insignificant roommate? One fabulous day, one incredible experience.

Ramada Rodham Hayman:
I had no idea it meant so much to you.

Michelle Rodham Huddleston:
I remember that day as if it were yesterday. The exhilaration of experimenting sharing something so new, so dangerous, so intimate. And I'll never forget the look on your face. The way the sweat glistened on your hard body. Then you tied my ankles. Tighter. Tighter. But it just wasn't right. It wasn't natural. Bungee-jumping is just too dangerous a sport.

Topper Harley:
Ramada, I do love you. I've tried to forget you but no matter what, your face is on the tip of my tongue.

Harbinger:
Geronimo!

Rabinowitz:
Geronimo!

Geronimo:
Me!

Dexter:
You don't understand. I can't walk... they've tied my shoelaces together.

Topper Harley:
A knot. Bastards!

Topper:
Great Expectations.

Topper:
It's not what I'd hoped for.

Saddam Hussein:
They've dicked with the wrong dictator!

Tug:
Cookie?

Denton:
No thank you, sir.

Tug:
Young lady?

Denton:
No thank you, sir.

Tug:
No, I was just offering him a young lady.

Ramada:
Dexter is one of the captives. He's my husband.

Topper:
You've got to be joking.

Ramada:
If I was joking, I would say: "A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar..."

Topper:
Okay, okay, he is your husband.

Topper:
Ramada, I want to be with you. I want to hold you. I want to meet your parents and pet dog...

Ramada:
My parents are dead, Topper. My dog ate them.

Topper:
We both know you belong with Dexter. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. I'm no good at being noble, but... do you have any idea what would happen if you stay here with me?

Ramada:
Of course I do. Sex. Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex. I would fondle you in ways you can't imagine. I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way, for as long as you could possibly desire.

Topper Harley:
Do you know what its like to have your heart shot out of season and tied to the top of a car? How it feels to be passed like the world's largest kidney stone? Ramada... I don't THINK so.

Tug Benson:
Looks like the upper hand, is on the other foot!