Hotel de Love

Stephen:
I don't get bananas. They're green for about a week, then they're ripe for about 12 minutes before going brown and mushy forever. Sometimes I can't go out because I'm waiting for my bananas to turn ripe.

Allison:
I know what you mean.

Stephen:
Do you ever look at people and wonder about their lives?

Rick Dunne:
Watching my parents renew their wedding vows is like watching ambulance drivers push the victims back into the wreck.

Melissa:
What are you doing? You can't keep up your drive-by "I Love You's."

Melissa:
My mother believed in love at first sight with Dad, with her second husband, and her third.

Alison:
Your love line is so confused.

Stephen:
It's not up-to-date.

Melissa:
Why do men lie?

Rick:
Uh, that's a hard one. Give me something frivolous to get into it.

Melissa:
OK. Why do men touch their dick so much?

Rick:
Because it's there.

Stephen:
What about love at first sight?

Melissa Morrison:
I don't believe in it. Norman and I were friends first. For months we just talked. Discussed ideas, books, politics.

Stephen:
THAT is not love! THAT is a book group!

Stephen:
Now I can finally marry her.

Stephen:
Or maybe not.