How to Save a Marriage and Ruin Your Life

Mr. Slotkin:
A bachelor's conscience is a woman's best friend.

Mr. Slotkin:
A bachelor's conscience is a woman's best friend.

Thelma:
The only nice thing you can say about men is they're all the same.

Thelma:
Miss Laszlo watches all the old pictures, and a lot of the actors have passed away.

Muriel Laszlo:
I saw a marvelous comedy last night. The entire cast was dead.

David Sloane:
Harry, I've had martinis all over the world... and I can safely say... yours are the worst.

Harry Hunter:
[to Carol] But there's an opening in merchandise, and you have character, integrity, and principle. It'd be interesting to see if an executive could survivewith such handicaps.

Everett Bauer:
You find my touch repugnent?

Carol Corman:
[as she punches out] No, it's, uh, just that I haven't had my tetanus shot.

Marcia Borie:
[about her fiance Lester] I'm 33, and he's the last gas station before I hit the desert.

David Sloane:
Miss Corman, good-bye. They say that a man forgets pain and remembers pleasure. My memory of you will be a complete blank.