Huckleberry Finn

[first lines]

Huckleberry Finn:
You need to write a new story on me, don't you? Here you go - here is something to start from...

Intertitle:
Aunt Polly knows that Tom will end up in prison because of all the dime novels he devours.

Miss Watson:
Can't you imagine how delightful it would be up in heaven playing on a golden harp?

Huckleberry Finn:
Do you aim to go up there? Then I'd rather go someplace else.

Intertitle:
Miss Watson preaches for a long time on Moses, as if he were her best friend. And that's even though she never knew him!

Huck's Father:
The blood trail can be followed straight down to the lake. My own little Huck first got murdered and then drowned afterward.

Jim:
If Massa Huck alive, can I stay here with you? They sold me to a bad man and I run off.

Huckleberry Finn:
I'm most certainly alive! Of course you can stay here. I appoint you secretary of the navy! Build me a ship where we can sleep at night.

Huckleberry Finn:
I'll go into town to get some news. Maybe they found some of me in the river and buried me. That'd be good to know.

Mrs. Judith Loftus:
What did you say your name was?

Huckleberry Finn:
Doris, Enid, Lucy, Mabel Williams.

Mrs. Judith Loftus:
I thought you said your name was Sarah, and a whole bunch of other names.

Huckleberry Finn:
I have a lot of names, so many that I change a little between them. Some I use on Sundays - and others on weekdays.

Mrs. Judith Loftus:
Yes. Yes. Goodbye dear Sarah, George, Peter, Alexander. Just don't forget what your name is next time.

The Duke:
My great-great-great grandfather was the eldest son of the Duke of Bridgewater. He drank himself to death, the dearl soul.

The King:
Dear Duke Bilgewater, let me comfort you... I can see that there is something in your eye that is very reminiscent of the picture I have seen of Duke Bilgewater... on a whiskey bottle!

The Duke:
Will you allow me to recite Romeo and Juliet? To augment my imagination, I ask you to be Juliet... to whom I confess my young Lo-ove.

The King:
But if I'm Juliet, won't my bald head and long whiskers distract you?

The Duke:
[after the King falls into the river while reciting Romeo and Juliet] The idea was that you become Juliet, not the fountain.

Huckleberry Finn:
Dear Lord, will you save Jim? If you do that, I promise you that I will write to Miss Watson and tell her where I am. So, if you absolutely want me to be back with Miss Watson, Jim has to be rescued.

Mrs. Sally Phelps:
Why on earth do you want to free him when he is free to begin with?

Tom Sawyer:
Are you fools? We did it for the adventure! And now Huck and I will go on another one.

[last lines]

Huckleberry Finn:
It's better that I tell the truth, then maybe Aunt Sally will adopt me and make me an educated young man, so I can go back to Mary Jane. And this I swear, Mary Jane will someday see me as a grown-up educated man.