Hudsucker Proxy

Buzz:
When is a sidewalk fully dressed? When it's Waring Hudsucker!

Buzz:
Say, buddy, who's the most liquid businessman on the street? Waring Hudsucker!

Beatnik bartender:
Martinis are for squares, man.

Norville:
You know, for kids.

Amy Archer:
Norville Barnes, you don't know a thing about that woman. You don't know who she really is. Only a numbskull thinks he knows things about things he knows nothing about.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Yeah yeah, sure sure.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
When you're dead, you stay dead. Don't believe me, ask Waring Hudsucker.

Norville:
What do you do if the envelope is too big for the box?

Ancient Sorter:
Well, if you fold 'em, they fire you. I usually throw 'em out.

Waring Hudsucker:
They're all wearing them upstairs. It's a fad.

Norville:
Look who's here. Amy Archer, Prize-itzer Pule winner.

Amy Archer:
Finally there would be a thingamajig that would bring everyone together, even if it kept them apart spatially.

Mail Room Orienter:
You punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it's a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o'clock. Punch in late and they dock you. Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher and they dock you. Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 6787049A/6. That is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong and they dock you! This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint and they dock you!

Norville:
You're a MUNCIE girl?

Amy Archer:
This is a face only a mother could love. On pay day.

Moses the Clock Man:
Strictly speaking, I'm never supposed to do this. But have you got a better idea?

Moses the Clock Man:
And that's the story of how Norville Barnes climbed waaay up to the forty-fourth floor of the Hudsucker Buildling, and then fell all the way down but didn't quite squish hisself. You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story...

Moses the Clock Man:
I spects old Moses knows just about everything, leastways if it concerns Hudsucker.

Amy Archer:
I used to think you were a swell guy. Well, to be honest, I thought you were an imbecile. But then I figured out you WERE a swell guy... A little slow, maybe, but a swell guy. Well, maybe you're not so slow, But you're not so swell either. And it looks like you're an imbecile after all!"

Amy Archer:
Is this guy from Chumpsville or what? Ha! I even pulled the old mother routine.

Amy Archer:
Lumbago.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
What am I, a head shriker. Maybe the man was unhappy?

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Sure, sure he was a swell fella, but when the president, chairman of the board and owner of 87% of the company stock drops 44 floors...

Sidney J. Mussburger:
...then the company too has a problem. What exactly is the disposition of Waring's stock.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Meaning?

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Do you mean to say any slob in a smelly tee-shirt will be able to buy Hudsucker stock?

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Quit showboating Addison, the man is gone. The question now is whether we're going to let John Q Public just waltz in here and buy our company.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Not while the stock is this strong. How soon before Hud's paper hits the market?

Sidney J. Mussburger:
One month; to make the blue chip investment of the century look like a round trip ticket on the titanic.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
It could work.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
It's working already. Waring Hudsucker is abstract art on Madison Avenue. What we need now is a new president who will inspire panic in the stockholder.

Sidney J. Mussburger:
Sure, sure. Some jerk we can really push around.