I Was an Adventuress

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
I'm Countess Vronsky. I've heard some of the stories you've been spreading about me, Signor Rosselli [slaps his face] I warn you against repeating any more of this malicious gossip

Herr Protz:
[startled] I am not Signor Rosselli!

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
You're not Signor Rosselli?

Herr Protz:
No. I've never even heard of him.

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
Oh. I've made a terrible mistake

Herr Protz:
Oh, that's alright.

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
I don't know what to say

Herr Protz:
Say nothing, Countess. [fawning] Even being slapped by such a beautiful woman is an event.

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
I only wish there was some way I could make amends.

Herr Protz:
There is [kisses here hand] You could dine with me

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
But we haven't met yet, Signor...

Herr Protz:
Oh, er, permit me to introduce myself. I am Herr Protz.

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
Herr Protz. [they start to walk together]

Herr Protz:
Tell me, Countess, is this your first visit to Venice?

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
Oh, no. I've been here many times

Herr Protz:
You like it?

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
I love it! [they walk past Andre Desormeaux and Polo]

Polo:
What a ravishing woman!

Andre Desormeaux:
Like a bouquet of spring flowers... [they grin at each other]

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
I'm Countess Vronsky. I've heard the malicious gossip you've been spreading about me, Monsieur Duval [slaps his face] I've warned you...

Paul Vernay:
[grabs her arm] Just a minute. You've made a slight mistake... you see I'm not Monsieur Duval.

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
You're not Monsieur Duval?

Paul Vernay:
No. I'm not.

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
Oh, I'm terribly sorry

Paul Vernay:
I wish I were... so I could slap you right back!

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
I said I was sorry, Monsieur. I will do anything to make amends.

Paul Vernay:
Very well, then please stay out of my sight.

Countess Tanya Vronsky:
You are being insufferably rude

Paul Vernay:
It's a pleasure! [she slaps him] [he slaps her back]

Andre Desormeaux:
[already seated outside caf? as Polo sits down] [Looking intently at Polo's feet] No luck huh? You have tramped all over Paris from the Port de la Villette to Montrouge and found no trace of her.

Polo:
Yes, that's right. Oh, I've covered all the ballet schools. But how did you know?

Andre Desormeaux:
Your feet! Those ugly, tired peasant feet. They tell me the story. You see, I studied hands and feet. I can read them like you can read a book... if you could read.

Polo:
Oh, but I can read.

Andre Desormeaux:
Of course, you can. You can read words but you can't read between them. Now, for instance [gestures towards the feet of a passing woman] To you, those are just a woman's feet. But I can tell you she's a vendeuse in one of the department stores; stood on her feet all day but she's not tired now. She's going to meet her sweetheart on some corner...

Polo:
Amazing!

Andre Desormeaux:
[indicating another woman] Woman with the bunions...

Polo:
Yes?

Andre Desormeaux:
She has given up hope of meeting anyone.

Polo:
Remarkable!

Andre Desormeaux:
[indicating a passing man] Tan Brogans... American tourist. Big corn on the left little toe... See?