Il silenzio dei prosciutti

Dr. Animal:
What are you most afraid of?

Jo:
Anchovies.

Dr. Animal:
Good answer.

Antonio:
I don't remember your name. You know, nobody ever comes here. It's hard to remember them all.

Jane:
Jane.

Antonio:
Ah, Jane! Like my cousin Maria.

Dwarf Guard:
Dr. Animal's intelligence goes beyond the borders of the human mind. His savagery goes beyond the borders of the animal!

Joe:
How could he go beyond so many borders without a passport?

Mother:
My son is alive? Who the f*** did I kill?

Detective Martin Balsam:
Oh, no! Not again!

Mrs. Motel:
That's not the mummy! Place your bets - 6 to 1! 6 to 1!

Dr. Animal:
Call me A.

Joe:
A?

Dr. Animal:
Also, call me Doctor.

Joe:
A Doctor.

Dr. Animal:
Doctor A!

Joe:
Right sorry, Doctor A.

Dr. Animal:
Bingo.

Joe:
Doctor A. Bingo?

Dr. Animal:
Moving on.

Antonio:
Hasta La Baby Vista... Hasta La... Hasta La...

Antonio:
[Balsam's car won't start] Goodbye.

Detective Martin Balsam:
Goodbye.

Antonio:
Goodbye

Detective Martin Balsam:
Goodbye.

Antonio:
Goodbye.

Detective Martin Balsam:
Goodbye.

Antonio:
Goodbye.

Detective Martin Balsam:
Goodbye.

[Several hours later Balsam's car finally starts]

Antonio:
Goodbye.

[Balsam drives away]

Antonio:
What a jerk, he left without saying "goodbye"!

Antonio:
The tension was so thick, and the music so pretentious, they knew they must be getting close...

Dr. Animal:
Oh, I like you, Ms.

Joe:
Mister.

Dr. Animal:
Please, call me Doctor.

Dr. Animal:
Iggy-poo!

Joe:
"Iggy-poo"? What's that?

Dr. Animal:
It's my happy noise.

Joe:
You know, you look better in pictures.

Detective Martin Balsam:
You should see me in a bikini.

Dr. Animal:
The killer's name is Antonio and he hates his mother.

Joe:
Why?

Dr. Animal:
Maybe 'cause she's a pain in the ass! Did you ever think about that?

Antonio:
This is not a motel called "Cemetery". This is a cemetery called "Motel".

Detective Martin Balsam:
Robocrap. A Japanese version of Robocop.

Mrs. Motel:
If you are still alive, who did I stab, stab to death?

Antonio:
I have to go and take a shower, because I smell like Kevin Costner after "Dances with wolves".

Jo:
Just one second Jane, I'm not Jo. I'm...

Jane:
Lily, I'm alive!

Motorcycle Cop:
No need, I'm already here.

Jane:
What did you say your name was?

Olaf:
Olaf. I'm Swedish.

Jane:
Oh, come on. Are you really Swedish?

Olaf:
No, not quite. My father's Finnish, and my mother's Russian.

Jane:
I could tell...

Antonio:
Yes, I'm not a liar. I tell you the trout.

Detective Martin Balsam:
The 'truth', I want the 'truth'.

Antonio:
It's not a problem. Okay. [Picks up a stuffed trout from under the front desk] Here it is, the 'truth'.

Jo:
Maybe that lady didn't kill her, maybe it was a mistake

Lily Wine:
Oh, if only it were...

Jo:
That's right, maybe Antonio killed her

Lily Wine:
No...

Jo:
Or she could have got run over by a truck

Lily Wine:
No!

Jo:
She could have got eaten by a cannibal, on a California vacation... any one of these, really... OR...

Lily Wine:
Gasps

Jo:
There's always the possibility of being torn to shreds by a harvester

Lily Wine:
wraps her hands around Joe's throat to choke him

Jo:
She could have fallen in to a vat of sulfuric acid, really it could have been any one of these things!

Antonio:
"Alone, on a private plane, Agent Joe finally decides" oh no, wait, wait, forget it... sorry, this scene was cut.