Ingenious

Sam:
What's your handicap?

Cinda:
A six.

Sam:
Mine too. Well, a six-pack. I'm a really good drinker.

Matt:
A guy in a bar told me once; if you wonder what God thinks about money, look at who he gives it to.

Sam:
Did you see the choppers on that guy? I don't trust somebody that can swallow their own fist.

Gina:
No, Matt, I've been up since six.

Matt:
I've been up about a minute and a half.

Matt:
Like Edison said, if you want to have a good idea, have a lot of them.

Sam:
Dealer's sitting on a sixteen, hits a five. Unbelievable.

Matt:
I love Sam like a brother, but he drives me crazy. Not a word goes into his head that doesn't come out of his mouth.

Louisa:
They've got a hot rock massage that'll make you wet and I don't mean sweat.

Sam:
I'm going to share something I learned a long time ago... women can't stay mad. They are amazingly resilient creatures. You can forget anniversaries, get drunk and show your ass in front of you in-laws. They'll forgive all those things. But don't, do not get caught cheating Bro. They don't like it.

Gina:
C'mon Matt. How many failed products have you had lately. The TV cap? Watch TV while you jog?

Sam:
No, listen; JJ has been making a fortune going out to the desert and swiping saguaros.

Matt:
So we're getting our seed money from committing a felony.

Sam:
You know what we're good at.

Matt:
Lately, not a whole lot.

Sam:
I know about things like this. They try to make you feel like a plucked chicken.

Sam:
We should hit a bucket of balls sometime. I'll drive the cart and watch your stroke.

Sam:
Yeah, the ol' silent treatment. I used to get those with Rhonda, actually instigate them. You think I talk a lot. Jesus.

Cinda:
Hmmm.