It's Not You. It's Bree.

Henry Bickle:
For the record I'm more than just a man with a sickeningly insatiable appetite for dangerous sexual endeavors. I have other hobbies and interests, some of which don't involve small, yet exciting bursts of electrical current applied to one's nipples.

Robyn Bickle:
And can I just add, despite what you may have read, I don't view all fruit and vegetables as being the "next best thing".

Gary Lim:
I'm like a cat in the way that I always land on my feet and not in the way that I regularly clean myself with my tongue. I shower. Regularly.

Marco:
We aren't exclusive though. Joy and I both enjoy a varied and diverse range of sexual partners, sometimes simultaneously.

Joy:
I realized that I am just not happy being monogamous. And Marco understands that.

Marco:
My mama used to always say, "Marco, one day you will make a woman very happy". Now, I regularly make several women happy. Mama would be so proud.

Bree Browning:
When I first hired you guys to follow me around, I'll be honest, I'd hoped this might have turned out a little differently, but that's life. This whole thing has been quite a humbling journey. If I could leave with just one final piece of advice, well I think it was Jesus who put it best when he said "love one another as I have loved you". A lovely Copyright Commedia Productions 33 July 29th 2011 sentiment isn't it but they are also wise words. Don't get me wrong, I'm not comparing myself to him, not at all, but it does sound a little like the kind of thing I would say doesn't it. Except I might've said, "Hey Jesus, let them love themselves first, then love each other as you have loved yourself". Personally I think he had it a little wrong.

Bree:
Sumira's parents are Turkish and as we run a very multicultural office here, it's a real treat having her aboard.

Bree:
Actually there's a Turkish restaurant just down the road and not that I'd ever want to eat the food there, it does have some interesting wall decorations.

Lisa Varner:
Mum, you'll be fine, just remember to try not to offend any specific demographic, based on sexuality, or age.

Brett Murphy:
Or gender, race.

Gary Lim:
Or economic background.

Bree:
Okay, I've got it.

Bree:
You'd think I've not done some broadcasting before.

Bill:
Honestly, if the boys down at the Croquet Club heard about some of the things you had suggested, I'd be a laughing stock.

Joy:
And I'm guessing I'd be pretty popular.

Bill:
I don't even want to think what Father McIninerney would think, we'd be excommunicated!

Bill:
No more invites to the parish talent nights!

Joy:
God forbid!

Bill:
Exactly!

Marco:
Ever since I was a young boy, I'd always wanted to have sex with more than one person at a time.

Marco:
I can't wait!

Mark:
You're on a first date? So am I.

Barry Barnham:
Is she fit?

Mark:
Yes, but I don't know, I haven't been on a date for ages and she's a bit, well, we're both really...

Barry Barnham:
Horny?

Mark:
No, nervous.

Bree:
I believe that in life, all things are connected.

Bree:
The animals in their jungles are connected to the rivers and the oceans which in turn are connected to stars and planets which are connected to the people on Earth in their igloos and apartments, who occasionally like to be connected to each other using their penises and vaginas.

Bree:
Or anuses. Or ayni. Whatever the plural of anus is.

Bree:
If you per chance liked to have your girlfriend stimulate you anally, perhaps with her thumb or pinkie finger, you're likely going to want to keep that to yourself.

Bree:
That's where I come into it.

Bree:
If there is one thing I learnt from my husband, excuse me, ex-husband Jim, it's patience.

Bree:
He also taught me how to be humble.

Bree:
As a result, I'm pretty much the most humble person I know.

Bree:
Let me tell you, Lisa certainly takes after her mother. A strong, intelligent woman, but if she wanted to, she could sleep her way through an entire team of professional footballers.

Bree:
So catch me up, how's things? Anything to report?

Henry Bickle:
Well I'm glad to say, I'm all better. Downstairs.

Robyn Bickle:
It's back to full strength. I can confirm.

Henry Bickle:
In fact, thanks to some scar tissue, it's actually a little bigger.

Robyn Bickle:
Just a little.

Jenny:
I plan on getting some hermit crabs. I'll call them Julio, Augustus and Ronda. Julio will be an Ecuadorian hermit crab and Auggie and Ronda will be Australian hermit crabs. I like to think of Auggie as being a top Aussie bloke and Julio as a suave, Latin lover. Both will vie for the love of Ronda. So romantic! I don't see Ronda as much of a lady though. I bet she'd be sleeping with both of them behind the other's back. Which is actually easy to do when you're a hermit crab.

Henry Bickle:
This is likely going to be the weirdest orgy we've attended.

Henry Bickle:
And we've attended so many we could do them blindfolded!

Robyn Bickle:
Actually, sometimes blindfolds are a necessity.

Cass:
We were having such a fun time on the weekend. At the retreat.

Jack:
I was playing a few games of badminton.

Cass:
He was unbeatable!

Jack:
I was just having so much fun. I must have tired myself out.

Cass:
So I told him to have a little lie down, but the silly duffer forgot to put on any sunscreen.

Bree:
As I can see.

Jack:
Now I have this nasty burn.

Cass:
You should see his shuttlecock.

Bree:
I'm trying hard not to.

Bree:
I've seen many a relationship turn south when one or both of the people involved decide to be less than truthful with each other. Say for example, you were a married man and you enjoyed wearing feminine corsetry from time to time. You are far better off telling your wife of your interests in restrictive erotic wear rather than have her find these articles of clothing shoved into the gym bag she thinks contains your old recreational squash gear. Who knows, perhaps she'll come around to the idea?

Henry Bickle:
I'm Henry. When it comes to sex, like my wife, I like to live a little dangerously. It also explains my enjoyment of extreme sports. I think it's safe to assume that if you've ever wanked off to your wife having sex with a dildo on the end of a turbine engine and enjoyed it, you probably also wouldn't mind jumping out of a plane on a BMX.

Robyn Bickle:
It was really just a rebuilt two stroke lawnmower.

Bill:
I feel like I am a pretty hip, progressive and swell gentleman. But every time I want to sleep with my wife, I have his member staring me in the face.

Joy:
I don't see a problem with that.

Marco:
Bill, if it means anything, I think you have a very good looking penis.

Bill:
This is what I mean!

Nancy:
Try some of the tea, it's home grown. By the way, I really admire your lifestyle. I've always wanted to try it.

Cass:
Well you really should, we have regular retreats and gatherings, and it's really quite fun.

Jack:
I normally carry a card in my wallet, but I forgot my wallet at home.

Nancy:
Oh, that's a shame! Do you remember where you left it?

Jack:
Yeah, in my pants.

Joy:
Marco is just the most exotic and sensual man I have ever met. At first I was a little anxious. I mean, he is European, I thought, am I woman enough to satisfy him? But after that first hot, sweaty evening in the back of Bill's boat, well, I'm a changed woman.

Bree:
I can honestly say I've never made love on a body of water.

Joy:
Oh no. It was parked in the drive-way. I hate the damn thing. You won't catch me on it normally!

Nancy:
Can I just interject? I just love the way you are all expressing yourselves here today. The passion and positive energy in this room is just so amazing, so groovy, so life affirming.

Gary Lim:
I agree. You're all giving me a total erection in my pants.