Johnny English Reborn

Johnny English:
You mean there's a mole AND a vole?

Johnny English:
Hand it over, chimp!

Johnny English:
Let's kick some bottom.

Johnny English:
Dear God, let me not die at the hands of the Swiss.

Johnny English:
Well, the man's a god.

Kate Sumner:
Well, I prefer mortals - pure, complicated, maddening mortals. I've come to realize that what's really exciting to me is great loyalty, determination, and courage.

[first lines]

Agent One:
Johnny English. Five years ago he was our top agent.

Agent Two:
Yeah. Took his eye off the ball in Mozambique.

Agent One:
Does it have to be him?

Agent Two:
He's the only one our contact will talk to.

Agent One:
So where is he?

Ting Wang:
[ominously] MI7 wants you on the first flight back to London.

Johnny English:
Master, am I ready?

Ting Wang:
No... Window seat, or aisle?

Agent Two:
Welcome back. How long has it been?

Johnny English:
Oh, I don't know, five years, three months and six days. Or something.

Pamela:
Gentlemen, may I remind you all that MI7's current weapon of choice is dialog.

Johnny English:
[wrestling elderly woman] She was in Hong Kong! She's the killer!

Pamela:
She's my mother!

Johnny English:
Couldn't she be both?

Johnny English:
I may not know much about golf, Tucker, but I know how to hold the bat.

Johnny English:
[after he realises that the key is stolen] Shushan!

Quartermain:
This way. Haven't got all day. Don't! (too late; English presses "Enter" on a nearby laptop, firing a disc. The disc flies across the aisle and slices the entire head clean off of a dummy, which an agent catches) Would you stop meddling, English? (guides English over to a luxurious car) Here she is.

English:
Ahh, the Rolls-Royce Phantom. Truly the Rolls-Royce of automobiles.

Quartermain:
Armour plating, all the bells and whistles. Say "bonnet."

English:
Bonnet.

Car's computer:
Command accepted. (the bonnet opens)

Quartermain:
Voice activation recognizes only you. Rolls has fitted one of their experimental engines, the nine-litre V16. Goes like the wind... only quieter.

English:
Beautiful.

Quartermain:
Keep up. (leads English to a table laid out with gadgets that all look completely innocent) Here's what you'll be taking to Hong Kong.

English:
Ah, yes.

Quartermain:
(holds up a socket extension) A satellite receiver, (holds up a comb) tracking device, (holds up a pack of gum) Semtex chewing gum... (English grabs a small digital camera) Ah! Now, what did I just say? (English clicks the shutter, firing a mini-dart out of the lens. The dart goes directly through the rump of a dummy and into the buttocks of an agent. The other agents laugh and English chuckles sheepishly) That's the new P2 digital dart gun.

(Tucker and English approach a cliff)

Tucker:
What are you doing, sir?

English:
Regulation 75-1, never question a senior agent in the... (jumps off the cliff) field.

Monastery chief:
MI7. Wants you on the first flight back to London.

English:
(in a sad tone) Master. Am I ready?

(The music builds up)

Chief:
No.