Jungle Jim

Avery Dixon:
The commissioner tells me Panu risked his life to save Doris and me.

Jungle Jim:
That's right. Unlike you, he didn't stop to figure the return on his investment.

Kaseem:
It was truly said that the gift most treasured is that which comes from his heart, not his wallet.

[last lines]

[the trader's fake medicine nearly caused an epidemic of swamp fever]

Mr. Martingale:
Is there anything in the world I can do to make amends?

Jungle Jim:
Yes! You can wish me a "Happy Birthday" and then sit down and have a piece of cake.

Mr. Martingale:
[laughs] Happy Birthday, Jungle Jim!

Skipper:
If I tell you why I need the money, will you keep it a secret?

Kaseem:
Of course.

Skipper:
Honest injun?

Kaseem:
As a reasonably honest Indian, yes.

[while examining a litter of wild hyena pups, Skipper was attacked by their mother]

Jungle Jim:
You know what curiosity did, don't you?

Skipper:
Yessir. It killed the cat.

Jungle Jim:
Well, this time it almost killed the boy.

[Jungle Jim and Skipper are making a census of wild elephants in Uganda]

Skipper:
How many do you think there were in the last herd, Dad.

Jungle Jim:
About 3000.

Skipper:
How can you tell?

Jungle Jim:
Well... you count their legs and divide by four.

[last lines]

[Skipper's curiosity nearly got him killed by hyenas and, later, by giant lizards]

Skipper:
I'll never be curious again about anything.

Tamba the Chimp:
Pfft! Pfft!

Skipper:
Who asked you?

Skipper:
He's got a twelve-hour head start.

John Nelson:
I'd better get going.

Jungle Jim:
Where will you start?

John Nelson:
I don't know, frankly, but I can't sit here twiddling my thumbs while Bruno escapes with those pearls.

Jungle Jim:
Don't worry, he won't. Kaseem, get a torch. Meet me at the drum house.

Kaseem:
At once, Sahib.

John Nelson:
What are you going to do?

Jungle Jim:
Well, there's a lot of Africa around here. We'll just have to hunt our man Africa-style.

[last lines]

[the man Skipper suspected of being an international jewel thief turned out to be an Interpol agent]

Skipper:
Lt. Rossini, did you ever hear of a book called, "Modern Methods of Criminal Detection"?

Rossini:
No, I don't think so. Why?

Skipper:
Because I have one for sale - cheap!

[Mickey and Waco want to hire Jungle Jim to find a proboscis monkey for their circus]

Mickey Worth:
We've been saving up for this for a whole year. We're willing to gamble this whole wad on one proboscis monkey.

Jungle Jim:
It's a bad gamble, Miss Worth. Finding a proboscis monkey is like finding a needle in a haystack and, in this case, the haystack is an unexplored jungle.

[Jungle Jim releases a pygmy accidentally captured in his monkey trap]

Waco Johnson:
You've just turned loose a season of full tents!

Jungle Jim:
We came to trap monkeys, not human beings.

Mickey Worth:
But that little man was worth fifty monkeys to us.

Jungle Jim:
Maybe so. Let's forget about him and concentrate on monkeys.

Waco Johnson:
Since you're working for us, we'll make the decisions, mister!

Jungle Jim:
Okay, let's decide right now whether or not you're going to keep me workin' for you.

[first lines]

Ram Zingh:
Bad news your highness?

The Maharajah:
From the village of Peshuah. The tiger has struck again - the tenth victim in less than a month.

Ram Zingh:
It is said the people of Peshuah have offended the goddess Cali who has sent the devil-tiger to punish them.

The Maharajah:
I do not believe in devil-tigers, Ram Singh.

Ram Zingh:
Or the goddess Cali?

The Maharajah:
Cali has many forms. In her worst aspects, she is a false goddess worshipped by thieves and renegades!

Jungle Jim:
India sure has a lot animals you don't find back in Africa.

Kaseem:
Including disappearing tigers.

Jungle Jim:
I've been wondering about that disappearing act.

Skipper:
Sounds like magic.

Kaseem:
It's been my experience that magic is usually man-made.

[Brock is searching for a murderer without the proper authority]

Jungle Jim:
Isn't that a matter for the authorities?

Adam Brock:
And let some clever lawyer convinces jury to let him off? No thank you.

[pulling a .45 automatic from his waistband]

Adam Brock:
This is my authority, Jungle Jim - the only authority a murderer fears.

Kaseem:
Have you finished your history lesson for today, Little Sahib?

Skipper:
Yes, Kaseem. I know it cold.

Kaseem:
Very well, we'll see. Where was the Magna Carta signed?

Skipper:
The Magna Carta...

Kaseem:
That's right - sometimes called the Great Charter. Where was it signed?

Skipper:
Well, uh... at the bottom?

Kaseem:
Cold is right.

Kaseem:
The Magna Carta, the first constitution guaranteeing rights to English speaking peoples, was signed at Runnymede by King John on June 15th in the year 1215.

Skipper:
Aw, sure. It just slipped my mind.

[Kaseem points to Tamba the Chimp]

Kaseem:
Perhaps your mind wouldn't be half so slippery if you'd send your classmate outside while you're studying.

Kaseem:
How was your trip to Nogambu?

Jungle Jim:
Hot!

[speaking to Skipper]

Jungle Jim:
How's our schoolwork coming along?

Kaseem:
Cold.

[first lines]

[Skipper and Tamba the Chimp are studying textbooks]

Skipper:
No, Tamba, not like that.

[Skipper turns the book right side up]

Skipper:
No wonder you're not learnin' anything!

[Tamba turns the book upside down again]

Skipper:
Okay, suit yourself - be a dummy all your life.

[last lines]

Skipper:
I owe you an apology, Mr. Raily.

Skipper:
Why How's that, son?

Skipper:
Well, I was trying to steal back Trader when I ran into that rhino.

Jungle Jim:
So that's what you were doing around here!

Skipper:
Yes, sir and I'm sorry!

Jack Raily:
Well look, son. If you want the pup that bad, supposin' I make you present of him.

Skipper:
Thanks just the same, Mr. Raily, but I don't think Trader would be too happy about that and I know Tamba wouldn't. I guess it's just like Dad says: pets have as much right to find people as people to find pets.

Jungle Jim:
You're pretty well up on that book of rules and regulations, aren't you?

Neil Croft:
It's my job to be.

Neil Croft:
I thought your job was to help the natives.

[Professor Smythe blanches in fear at the sight of a wild pig]

Skippy:
Professor Smythe, haven't you been on an expedition before?

Whitfield Smythe:
Y-yes, but only in the desert. I hunt lost cities, not wild beasts.

[last lines]

[Jungle Jim and Skipper have eluded the Indianspursuing them from the lost Inca city]

Skipper:
Hey, wait a minute, Dad. I just remembered something.

Jungle Jim:
What?

Skipper:
My books - I left them back at the ruins.

Jungle Jim:
Don't worry. I'll get you a new set when we get home.

Skipper:
Aw, Dad!

[last lines]

[Tamba the chimp slips a banana to an angry orangutan, which immediately pacifies the large ape]

Jungle Jim:
That's one way to soothe the savage beast.