Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths

Lex Luthor:
What are you waiting for? Hurry.

The Jester:
It's time to get serious, Lex.

Lex Luthor:
No, we can make it together. We can do this.

The Jester:
Get your shiny bald head out of here. It's hurting my eyes.

Batman:
All right, Flash. Beginning test run.

Flash:
I don't know, Batman. This is pretty radical. You're absolutely sure it works?

Batman:
Pretty sure.

Flash:
Pretty sure? That isn't...

[Batman teleports Flash aboard new headquarters]

Flash:
...good enough.

Batman:
Teleporter's online.

Flash:
Are you crazy? Is he crazy? How could he use that thing on me if the wasn't sure?

J'onn J'onzz:
He was joking.

Flash:
Yeah, how can you tell?

Wonder Woman:
You really think he would risk your life if he wasn't sure?

Flash:
Well, maybe. I mean, I don't think he likes me very much.

J'onn J'onzz:
I don't think he likes anyone very much.

Lex Luthor:
[police have him surrounded] No need to make a scene. I want you to call the Justice League for me.

Police Officer:
Or else?

Lex Luthor:
Oh, I don't know. I'll destroy the world? Is that sufficient?

Flash:
How are we supposed to get inside again?

Lex Luthor:
Multi-frequency band, encryption analyzer-replicator pack.

Flash:
Some of us don't speak Star Trek.

Lex Luthor:
Think of it as a fancy garage-door opener.

[Flash bumps into the invisible plane]

Wonder Woman:
Mind your head.

Flash:
I can't believe you kept that thing.

Wonder Woman:
Spoils of war. I like it.

Flash:
What do you need a plane for anyway? You can fly.

Green Lantern:
You drive a car.

Flash:
That is *so* not the point.

Superman:
I owe you an apology about this mission. You were right.

Batman:
We were both right.

Superman:
Still, more help around here wouldn't be a bad idea.

Batman:
I'm glad you agree. I've been thinking about a membership drive.

Lex Luthor:
Ultraman, I know you can hear me. Bring your arrogant ass out here or we'll come in and get you.

The Jester:
What can I say?

[Angelique stabs him, pinning him to the wall]

The Jester:
Okay, okay. I'm done to my last joke, anyway. But this one will kill you.

[sets off detonator killing himself with Angelique and J'edd J'arkus]

Model Citizen:
You don't wanna fight me. You wanna help me.

Flash:
I don't wanna fight you, I want...

[snaps out of her control]

Flash:
Hey, this is like the Jedi mind trick.

Model Citizen:
This is not like the Jedi mind trick.

Flash:
This is not like the Jedi mind trick.

Owlman:
Luthor's new Justice League is not to be underestimated.

Power Ring:
Neither will we. They'll fold.

Ultraman:
Or we'll fold them. Just like everybody else who gets in our way.

Superman:
We're gonna hit multiple targets at the same time. Teams of two.

Lex Luthor:
We'd be hopelessly outnumbered. When my Justice League fought them...

Superman:
All due respect, Lex. We're aren't your Justice League.

Flash:
What's the call?

Superman:
You and J'onn. Diana and GL. He's with me.

Lex Luthor:
That's insane.

Flash:
Don't worry, Lex. He's got your slack.

Superman:
Flash.

Flash:
Well, you do.

Superwoman:
Do you realize what we could do with this?

Owlman:
The philosophical implications are tremendous, of course.

Superwoman:
Philosophy. There's an infinite number of Earths out there to conquer. You and me. We wouldn't have to share our cut with the Syndicate.

Owlman:
That's certainly one way to go.

Ultraman:
Did you forget who I am? How I get to be the boss of bosses? I'm here because I'm the baddest of the bad. Anybody whoever stood in my way is dead. Everybody.

Lex Luthor:
I brought you a present.

Ultraman:
Blue kryptonite.

Lex Luthor:
The only thing that can hurt you.

Ultraman:
But I...

Lex Luthor:
Destroyed the last piece on Earth? True. But I've been visiting other Earths.

Owlman:
Every decision we make is meaningless because somewhere, on a parallel Earth, we have already made the opposite choice. We're nothing. Less than nothing.

Superwoman:
How can you say that? We're rich. We're conquerors.

Owlman:
[pointing at alternate Earths] And here we're poor. We're slaves. And here, our parents never met, so we were never born. Here, the world ended in nuclear war. Here, no fish was brave enough to crawl up on land and humans never evolved. And so on, ad infinitum.

Superwoman:
[to Batman] Whatever will I do with you? I could use this to send you away. Perhaps here... an Earth where humanity has mutated into hideous creatures of the night. No. You might like that.

Superwoman:
Enjoy yourselves while you can. My friends are gonna tear you apart.

Flash:
Told you we should have left her.

Wonder Woman:
We couldn't take the chance she'd escape and warn them we're coming.

Superwoman:
When I get lose, I'm killing you right after Batman. Uhh!

Wonder Woman:
[punches Superwoman] Doesn't mean we have to listen to her, though.

Owlman:
[as the QED is about to detonate] It doesn't matter.

Wonder Woman:
[about Rose] Maybe there's another one like her back on our Earth.

J'onn J'onzz:
With my luck, she'll be evil.

Rose Wilson:
We are always stronger when we're doing the right thing.

Superwoman:
Stay down. You're outnumbered.

Batman:
Count again.

[teleports more Justice League members aboard]

Firestorm:
You guys are in trouble.

Batman:
Take them.

Batman:
Careful, Aquaman. They're stronger than you are.

Aquaman:
That remains to be seen.

J'onn J'onzz:
I apologize for reading your mind before. It is considered extremely impolite to do so without permission.

Rose Wilson:
I didn't mind. It seemed, I don't know, natural.

J'onn J'onzz:
We are attuned. Our minds are in sync to a degree that was rare even among my own people. I never imagined I'd meet a human so complimentary to myself.

Rose Wilson:
I feel it, attuned.

[Rose leans in to kiss him]

J'onn J'onzz:
What are you doing?

Rose Wilson:
Trying to kiss you. On Earth, it's a way of sharing affection.

J'onn J'onzz:
This is how we do it on Mars. Know me.

Flash:
Are we there yet?

Green Lantern:
That wasn't funny the first 15 times you said it, either.

Batman:
You're insane.

Owlman:
Does it really matter? There are alternate versions of me that you would find quite charming.

Owlman:
From what I gather, we are very much alike. Everything about you tells the tale. Your attitude, your costume, your tactics... they all scream of outrage, despair, vengeance. What terrible wrong was done to set you on this path? It doesn't really matter. Nothing matters.

Batman:
What are you planning to do, talk me to death?

Owlman:
Actually...

[throws punches on Batman]

Owlman:
I thought I'd beat you to death.

Batman:
[to Owlman] There is a difference between you and me. We both looked into the abyss, but when it looked back at us, you blinked.

Johnny Quick:
Did we save the world, then?

Batman:
We did.

Johnny Quick:
And all that rubbish about me being faster than Flash? You knew this was gonna happen. Good one, mate.

J'onn J'onzz:
I've already lost one home. I made a promise to protect my new one.

Rose Wilson:
Then this is how we say goodbye.

[they kiss]

Batman:
If we're really alike, you know this is wrong. You must have been a good man, once.

Owlman:
No. Not good. Never good. After all, I'm only human.

Black Canary:
Wanna hear a secret? [screams into a Made Man's ear]

Superwoman:
[to Batman] You've got possibilities, little man.

Flash:
[sees a naked Lex] Oh, and they call me The Flash.

Superwoman:
[as she blocks Batman's punch] That's going to cost you a rib. [squeezes the left side of Batman's ribcage to break a rib]