Keuringsdienst van Waarde

[first lines]

[talking about a cup of soup]

Himself - Commentator:
How many persons they say?

Chris van Koeverden:
No, doesn't say anything about how many persons. Oh, three to four persons, here on the front side. So that will eh, that will [chuckles] that will be hard to make do. Ha ha ha.

[last lines]

Himself - Commentator:
The avian flu breaks out and the minister of Agriculture says that all chickens must be inside. The same minister of Agriculture who calls chickens that tumble over their own legs after six weeks due to overweight a disgrace. He is talking about my chickens, pop chickens. Your chicken fillet.

[on the telephone]

Himself - Commentator:
The, eh, I was curious about the McNugget.

Employee McDonald's Nederland Service Centre:
Yes?

Himself - Commentator:
Ehm, I wondered what exactly it is made of.

Employee McDonald's Nederland Service Centre:
Of chicken.

[first lines]

Telephone Voice:
You are connected to the Albert Hein Service Line.

[short pause]

Telephone Voice:
All our employees are currently in conversation. A moment of patience please.

[last lines]

Himself - Commentator:
We just wish that you enjoy your meal.

[first lines]

[on the telephone]

Employee Albert Heijn Consumer Service:
Albert Heijn Consumer Service, good afternoon.

Himself - Commentator:
Good day, you are speaking with Klootwijk. I had something to ask about a, eh, fresh fish product.

Employee Albert Heijn Consumer Service:
Yes?

Himself - Commentator:
I have, eh, bought from you, eh surimi sticks.

[last lines]

Himself - Commentator:
That's how the fisherman does it. When a boat is a week on sea, the fisherman keeps apart the fish from the last days. That is fresh fish. Therefore I must find a special fish merchant, who has good connections with the fishermen themselves, to acquire real fresh fish. But I don't know one. Temporarily I need the not quite trustworthy fish merchant, who gets his fish in ice crates from all over the world. Under optimal conditions that fish can stay good for fourteen days. But by then it hasn't been real fresh for a long time already.