Kickin' It Old Skool

Darnell Jackson:
I can't dance like that no more. I'm a grown-ass man!

Darnell Jackson:
For a hundred grand? You better bust a move, drop it like its hot. Now, I don't want to see your black ass again until you got a whole lot of money or a whole lot of diapers.

[slams door]

Darnell Jackson:
Oh, hell no. You don't close my door like that!

Roxanne Jackson:
[opens door] What you say, nigga?

Darnell Jackson:
Uh, nothin'. I'm your nigga.

Roxanne Jackson:
Now get to steppin'.

[slaps him hard across the face]

Roxanne Jackson:
B*tch-slapped.

Aki:
[Darnell's invention of the Jewbix cube, a Jewish version of the Rubik's cube. Aki is reading off the pictures on the cube] A Jewish star, a money sign, a menorah, and a d... Dude you put a dick on the Jewbix cube?

[Hector and Aki laugh]

Darnell Jackson:
[mad at Aki and Hector for laughing] It's a circumcised penis. The only other real Jewish thing I could think of.

Jennifer:
You know, Justin might be a little kid, Kip... but he's got more balls than you'll ever have.

Kip:
What, like three?

Jennifer:
What I stand to lose? Gag me with a big ego and a little d...

Kip:
Don't go there.

Justin Schumacher:
Darth Maul? Jar Jar Binks? Who are these gay birds? They're not from Star Wars.

Aki:
Booty twaps.

Darnell Jackson:
Aki, what the hell are you doing? Come on, man. The robot's suppose to be your thing. You look like C-3PO with R2-D2 stuck up his ass.

Kip:
Taste some of this. Gives you wings, buddy.

Justin Schumacher:
[gulps down Red Bull] Whoa. It tastes like a laser.

Jennifer:
Try not to hate me.

Justin Schumacher:
I hate you more than Garfield hates Mondays.

Jennifer:
I thought Garfield hated lasagna.

Justin Schumacher:
Garfield loves lasagna!

Cole:
You and me in the parking lot, mano a mano.

Justin Schumacher:
You had mono? Well, I was in a coma.

Darnell Jackson:
Uh, what percentage in chance does my friend, Aki, have of sleeping with you?

Yun:
Zero percent.

Darnell Jackson:
One more question, please. What if he's a professional break-dancer?

Yun:
Two percent.

Aki:
Mathematically that's an infinity percent increase.

Justin Schumacher:
Yeah! That's my Aki! Homeboy's forever?

Aki:
Homeboy's forever.

Darnell Jackson:
Homeboy's forever.

Hector:
Homeboy's forever.

Darnell Jackson, Aki, Justin Schumacher, Hector:
Funky Fresh Boyz!

Yun:
If that what you guys are going to call yourselves, it goes back down to one percent.

Darnell Jackson:
[to Jen] You and your boyfriend can take that good b*tch, bad b*tch routine and and stick it right up your snutzy.

Crazy Homeless Man:
Snutzy?

Jennifer:
Okay. Terrified to ask what my snutzy is.

Crazy Homeless Man:
I'll tell ya.

Dr. Fry:
I understand how difficult it is to make payments of this magnitude. Sh*t, I'm still paying for that Ferrari.

Darnell Jackson:
They're shooting a TV show, I heard of this. It's like American Idol for dancing.

Justin Schumacher:
America what?

Darnell Jackson:
Star Search, it's like Star Search for dancing.

Darnell Jackson:
Man, I miss you dog. I miss you. You my nigga.

Justin Schumacher:
[Looking horrified] Darnell, that's a bad word.

Darnell Jackson:
B*tch, you been sleeping too long. After N.W.A. came out everybody's been saying it.

Justin Schumacher:
What was N.W.A.?

Darnell Jackson:
Niggaz with Atti...

Justin Schumacher:
[Looking more horrified]

Darnell Jackson:
Look, don't worry about it. It's my buddy, my friend.

Justin Schumacher:
I'm sorry Darnell, I was in a coma.

Darnell Jackson:
Yeah, you were.

Justin Schumacher:
You're a good n*gger. You're the best n*gger I ever had.

Aki:
F*** YOU MR. FERGUSON! I'm kidding, I still need this job.