King of the Underworld

Joe Gurney:
[Shocked that Gurney has shot one of his own men in the back] What yuh wanna do that for?

Joe Gurney:
[as he looks dispassionately through the holes in his revolver and casually blows out dirt] It says in the book that Napoleon said a good general has got to know when to be just, severe, - or mild.

Dr. Carole Nelson:
[sticking thermometer in Gurney's mouth] Keep your mouth shut.

Joe Gurney:
Hey, d'ya year that? That's a hot one. First time anybody ever told me to keep my mouth shut and got away with it.

Dr. Carole Nelson:
I suppose that's something to boast about.

Joe Gurney:
You bet it is! Hey Doc... anybody ever tell you that you're a pretty good lookin' doll? Ah, I'm not kiddin'. Y'know, I don't go for dolls as a rule. I mean, they're just something nice to have around the house like cats and dogs and pets and things. You got brains.

Dr. Carole Nelson:
Yeah, I'm different.

Joe Gurney:
Sure, we could get along swell together if you'd just relax.

Joe Gurney:
[after receiving care for a gunshot wound] Well, can I take it or can I take it?

Dr. Carole Nelson:
You can take it. Some people aren't sensitive to pain, especially moronic types.

Joe Gurney:
Hey, did you hear that, Slick? I'm a moronic type.

Slick:
Yeah? Hey, what's that?

Joe Gurney:
I don't know. Some type of medical name, ain't it doc?

Bill Stevens:
What you want is a ghost writer.

Joe Gurney:
Nah no mystery stuff, just plain facts.

Joe Gurney:
[after being shot] Where's my writer?

Bill Stevens:
I'm here, Joe.

Joe Gurney:
I guess you'll have to finish my book without me.

Bill Stevens:
The finish was written long ago.

Joe Gurney:
[Entering the doctor's office] Dr. Nelson?

Niles Nelson:
That's right.

Joe Gurney:
[Taking in the doctor's shabby office] I don't get it.

Niles Nelson:
Whatta yuh mean?

Joe Gurney:
A guy with a pair of million dollar hands in a dump like this!

Niles Nelson:
Oh?

Joe Gurney:
Yeah! You're wastin' your time down here. You oughta be uptown with the big dough.

Aunt Josephine:
You're putting your head right in the lion's mouth.

Dr. Carole Nelson:
That's what I've got to do.

Eddie:
[after being told by Gurney to come back with a typewriter] Hey, boss, where am I gonna pick up a typewriter at this time of the night? The stores are all closed!

Joe Gurney:
Well, open one!

Bill Stevens:
What do you want with me, Joe?

Joe Gurney:
Well, I tell yuh, me and the boys are takin' a bit of a layoff while the pressure's on, and I got thinkin' about that book you wrote, you know, on Napoleon. Figured that him and me bein' so much alike, you'd like to do a little job for me.

Bill Stevens:
What kind of job?

Joe Gurney:
Well, every big man, you know, oughta have somebody to write his auto... uh, auto... [unsure of the word]

Bill Stevens:
Autobiography?

Joe Gurney:
Yeah, that's it.

Bill Stevens:
An autobiography is the story of a man's life written by himself.

Joe Gurney:
Well, I knew that, but I got too many things on my mind to write, so I thought maybe you'd front for me.

Bill Stevens:
What you want is a ghost writer.

Joe Gurney:
[Obviously misunderstanding] No mystery stuff! Just plain facts. How does it sound to you?

Dr. Carole Nelson:
I still have two weeks to convince the medical board that I'm innocent, and until that time I'm a licensed doctor!

Dr. Sanders:
[Self-righteously] But, you have no call to start up in a respectable town like this. If the sheriff did his duty, you'd be locked up in a cell!

Dr. Carole Nelson:
If the state did its duty, YOU'd be locked up in a cell - a padded cell! [the sheriff explodes in laughter]