Knightmare

[repeated line]

Treguard, the Dungeon Master:
Oooh, nasty!

[repeated line]

Treguard, the Dungeon Master:
And just keep telling yourself, it's only a game... Isn't it?

Dungeoneer:
Where am I?

Treguard, the Dungeon Master:
Enter, stranger.

Treguard, the Dungeon Master:
D-I-S-M-I-S-S

[first lines]

Treguard, the Dungeon Master:
Welcome, watchers of illusion, to the castle of confusion.

[the dungeoneer is in a room with no exits]

Mogdred:
Welcome to one of Mogdred's little playpens, dungeoneer. Play a while! Play forever!

Treguard, the Dungeon Master:
[to the last dungeoneer of Series 3] We must hurry Christopher, for this phase of the dungeon is drawing to a close.

Treguard, the Dungeon Master:
Well where abouts in Hampshire Giles?

Giles:
The New Forest.

Pickle:
New Forest. What was wrong with the old one?

Treguard, the Dungeon Master:
[to the last team of Series 4] You must hurry team. This phase of the dungeon is drawing to a close.

Elita:
[Having giving Sofia a hint at the password] Got that have you faceache?

Dungeoneer:
Yeah, your a faceache too. [Elita is surprised]

Pickle:
Oooo. [Pickle smiles whilst the rest of the team are surprised]

Elita:
Well I've never in all my life. I was going to wish you good luck but now I am just going to go. See you later. [Elita walks off]

Advisor:
Sofia, I think you'd better leave pretty quickly

Dungeoneer:
OK.

Advisor:
Can you side-step to your left and walk forward.

Pickle:
[as Sofia is walking off] Well done Sofia, it is no less than Elita deserves. On you go.

[last lines]

Treguard, the Dungeon Master:
Lord Fear? Lord Fear! Are you ready to surrender?

Lord Fear:
What? ME? SURRENDER? You must be absolutely OUT of your tiny MIIIIIIIIIIND!

[the team are deliberating how to persuade a monk to help them. They have a hunting horn in their possession]

Advisor:
You could give him the horn, Daniel.