Knights of Badassdom

Ronnie Kwok:
[in distress] You just summoned a succubus from Hell!

Eric:
[pauses] Sorry.

Eric:
And Guinevere the fearless, who's plus-three ass of perfection should keep the memory of she who should not be mentioned at bay.

Gwen:
Plus-three? Clearly you underestimate my endowments.

Ronnie Kwok:
[sung] And your appeasement of the gods of Vincebus... [normal voice] have failed.

Eric:
What? Seven blood packs not enough, Ronnie?

Ronnie Kwok:
If you don't stop complaining, the gods of Vincebus are going to curse all your characters with a case of evil herpes!

Eric:
Fear not, Sir Reginald, for I have just the magic needed. Excuse me, while I whipeth this out.

Eric:
F***. Sh*t! We gotta go back for the book!

Hung:
What book?

Eric:
I brought that kick-ass old book I was gonna to use for my spells! F***! I must have dropped it when the paintballers attacked us! Sh*t!

Hung:
Hey, is this it?

Eric:
[calmly] That's it. [pause] Whoo. Thank god.

Hung:
We'll be back, you redneck cocksuckers. This I vow.

Beth:
You live in a fake castle leeching off your accidental millionaire loser friend playing black metal in your bedroom. You'll never change.

Gilberto:
Uh, it's *doom* metal.

Beth:
Who the f*** asked you?

Joe:
Well, he's right. Gilberto, you're the f***ing man! It *was* black. Then we went through a sludge phase. Now it's more doom.

Eric:
[listening to Joe play on his guitar] That's a power ballad.

Hung:
What's wrong with him?

Eric:
Oh, she dumped you, didn't she?

Hung:
'Tis not the size of the young knave's blade, but the lust in his thrust by which legends are made!

Hung:
I can hear the breeze on my skin. 'Tis burnt orange.

Lando:
And in English?... What the f***'s he saying?

Ronnie Kwok:
[whispering] I don't know.

Hung:
There's electricity in the air.

Hung:
'Tis a cruel act of the gods to waste such a sweet backside on such a filthy beast.

Hung:
Adventuring is exactly what thou needst!

Joe:
"Needst" is not a word.

Hung:
Where we are, it is.

Ronnie Kwok:
Joe Revitt's here? What the frack, Eric. I hate that guy!

Eric:
Ronald, Ronald, why be so petty? I mean, surely, you're not still sore about your syphilitic paladin. Perhaps the pages of your monster manual remain... stucketh together?

Ronnie Kwok:
[pause] For old time sake, he's in.