Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters

[opening scene]

Po:
[dark screen] Hurry, we're running out of time!

Mantis:
Keep it down!

Tigress:
Who's hand is that?

Mantis:
I don't even have hands!

Po:
Quiet! You'll compromise the mission!

Mantis:
[inaudible] Does it look like I have hands?

Oogway:
Remember the path!

Master Flying Rhino:
I'm proud of you, son!

Money Bunny:
You fight for money right?

Rhino:
[puts the money back in her hand] No, we fight for honor. [takes the Wu Sisters' flag and breaks in in half] It's time to change course!

Pig Server:
Ugh, who *cares* who wins? Those three are a disgrace to Kung Fu.

Oogway:
[wisely] I fear they will all lose. Until they find a battle *worth fighting.*

Pig Server:
[bored] Yeah, hear that all the time. Did you want to see the dessert menu?

Su Wu:
Ahhh... There's no place like fortress.

Oogway:
When the path you walk always leads back to yourself, you never get anywhere.

Ox:
And *how* do you know this?

Oogway:
A little birdie told me.

Little Birdie:
[emerges] Hey, how's it going?

Ox:
Ah! Oh! Bad turtle! Bad turtle! Stay away from me!

Young Croc:
*Why* does everyone think we only do things for money?

Su Wu:
Because you do.

Rhino:
No. We *did*.

Rhino:
Master Oogway! You're alive!

Young Croc:
But we saw you fall to your death!

Oogway:
No, you saw me *fall*.

[Excited, Po spots a nearby silver sword on a stand and runs over to it]

Po:
Look, the sword Master Ox used to defeat the Macau Marauders! [He picks up the sword and plays with it a little bit] I had no idea it was so shiny!

Tigeress:
Put that back!

[Po puts the sword back and moves on to the bamboo staff standing next to it]

Po:
And the staff Master Rhino used to liberate the village of Wenshen! [He playfully swings the staff around as if fighting off villains] I had no idea it was so staffy!

Mantis:
Staffy?

[Po puts the staff back and spots a hanging purple cape with a white emblem]

Po:
No way! And the cape Master Croc used for... for... [He falters] Well I don't know what he used it for, but let me tell you something... it made him look really cool.

Tigress:
Goodnight Po!

[With Mantis on her shoulder, Tigress begins walking away. Po notices them leaving and runs after them]

Po:
Come on! How can you even think of going back to sleep when this close to.. [He suddenly gasps upon catching sight of a large black container, it's metal doors wide open to reveal an empty space] The Sarcophagus of Su Wu!

[Tigress and Mantis glance at Po in confusion]

Tigress:
Su what?

Po:
Wu!

Mantis:
Who?

Po:
Su Wu!

Tigress:
Who's Su?

Mantis:
No clue!

Po:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... you haven't heard of the Wu Sisters?

[Tigress and Mantis shrug]

Croc:
[looking at the wanted poster of the Wu Sisters] Wait a minute, this looks nothing like me.

Ox:
[takes the poster out of Croc's hands] The Wu Sisters? They once took on the entire Jackal Nation armed with nothing more than... a pair of chopsticks!

Rhino:
[grabs the poster] Together, they're more powerful than any kung fu master! I thought they were locked up!

Oogway:
[unexpectedly moved to another spot, perfectly balanced on his staff] They were... until mere moments ago. But now, they're free... and I assure you, they will be seeking revenge. You three must stop them.

Rhino:
You're not talking about us, right?

Oogway:
The Wu Sisters are be headed for their fortress inside the Hubei Volcano. [pulls aside a curtain to reveal a sinister looking volcano in the distance] Scary, isn't it?