Kureyon Shin-chan

Ai Sutome:
Ah, Mochi Cakes! we wake our chef up every morning at four o'clock to prepare five dozen of these for the servants quarters

Moeko Sakueada:
He makes 5 dozen every day?

Ai Sutome:
Uh huh. my mom likes to throw the extras out in front of the homeless

Lolly Popp:
Action Bastard, I've got your new move! It's a smorgasbord of mindless violence!

Kung Fuji Apple:
Son of a red delicious b*tch!

Happiness Bunny:
I welcome death. I yearn for it. I dream of it every night. Am I never to feel it's cold, dark embrace?

Micchi:
It's just like College without the date rape.

The Pink P*ssy:
No criminals can escape from the Pink P*ssy!

Enchman:
Oh yeah, the censors are gonna love that one.

Misae Nohara:
[after Shin has locked them out of the apartment] Shin, you little devil! What did you do now?

Shin-Chan Nohara:
I just pushed a button and it went click. Is that the click-oris?

Commercial Girl:
That's the lock... the love button is entirely different.

Misae Nohara:
Shin, you moron, you locked the door! Now open up, do you hear me?

Shin-Chan Nohara:
But... you always tell me, when you're not here, don't open up the door for anyone.

Misae Nohara:
That only applies when it's not me standing outside the motherf***ing door! Now open up this instant!

Hiroshi Nohara:
Shin, where's my beer? I'm losing my buzz.

[Shin has pink eye, and Hiro is taking him to the doctor's office]

Hiroshi Nohara:
Ah, the best free clinic money can buy.

[inside]

Desk Nurse:
I'll need your insurance card and/or coupon.

Doctor:
[prescribing eye drops for Shin] These are made especially for children, so they really sting.

Shin-Chan Nohara:
Mommy says beer before nine is a crime.

Hiroshi Nohara:
Mommy doesn't have to live with Mommy.

Narrator:
I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, except that it's 7 a.m., and I've been drinking!

Shin-Chan Nohara:
So I thought if I put the toaster in the freezer, we could make Poptartsicles.

Georgie:
[to Shin] You suck at life.

Maso:
[in his fantasy about eloping on a raft with Ai] Look, it's that island from "Lost"! We'll start our new life with the Others and make up stupid plots as we go along!

Hiroshi Nohara:
Why do I smell like nads, and why does my ass hurt?

Misae Nohara:
Why do I smell like beer, and why does my fist hurt?

[in a fever-induced dream sequence, Shin and Action Bastard are running across the desert]

Action Kamen:
Gasping air... moving fists...

[Hina has gotten into the video cabinet]

Misae Nohara:
[taking the tapes away from Hina] No, no, Hina. Those are tapes that Mommy and Daddy made and we can't afford the therapy you'd need if you ever saw them.

Misae Nohara:
Get up Shin, you have school today!

Shin-Chan Nohara:
No thanks, I went there last week.

Shin-Chan Nohara:
To be a man, you must have honor. Honor and a penis.

Mitzi Nohara:
No, Hima. Those are videos Mommy and Daddy made, and we can't afford the therapy you'd need if you ever saw them!

Mitzi Nohara:
Pretend you're Daddy in bed, and don't move.

Shin-Chan Nohara:
The ketchup farted.