Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India

Col. Boyer:
At ease Captain. You know Major Cotton. That is Major Warren. Take a seat. Now, what is this we hear? That you have agreed to cancel the tax of the farmers in Champaner if they beat you in a game of cricket? Is this true?

Capt. Russell:
Yes, Colonel Boyer sir, it is.

Col. Boyer:
What on earth do you think you're here for? To play games?

Maj. Warren:
Let me remind you that you are working here for Her Majesty the Queen. Your job is to ensure the smooth running of your province.

Capt. Russell:
Pardon me, sir, but that's exactly what I'm doing.

Maj. Cotton:
I think we'll be the judge of that, Russell! We also understand that if you lose this so called match, you will cancel their taxes for the next three years.

Maj. Warren:
Not just Champaner but the entire province.

Capt. Russell:
But they won't win.

Maj. Warren:
You're missing the whole bloody point! Do you realize, Captain Russell, that we could have on our hands a bloody situation where there'll be cricket matches happening all over the damn sub-continent in order to cancel the bloody tax!

Capt. Russell:
There is one thing you don't know. If they lose, which they will, they will have to pay the Queen three times the tax.

Maj. Cotton:
This is ridiculous! This OFFICER wants to make the government a bookie through which he can place his wagers! What'll you have us do next? Race horses?

Col. Boyer:
This is the most preposterous idea I have ever heard of! Now jolly well understand this... if you win, you will have had a narrow escape. But if you lose, YOU will pay the taxes for Champaner and the entire province OUT OF YOUR OWN POCKET! And then you'll be packed off to Central Africa! Is that clear?

Capt. Russell:
Yes, Sir!

Col. Boyer:
That'll be all. You may go.

Gauri:
Guran read my fortune today.

Bhuvan:
Really? What's the misfortune then?

Gauri:
So cruel? I won't tell you.

Bhuvan:
Oh come on.

Gauri:
He said I'll put henna on my hands this year - I mean get married.

Bhuvan:
That's great! Who's the lucky boy?

Gauri:
How would I know? But Guran did say that the house I marry into will have a neem tree in the yard. It will also have a big field beside it, some chickens, 2 cows and 3 goats. What about you?

Bhuvan:
I'd have to marry someone my mother likes.

Gauri:
Someone your mother likes?

Bhuvan:
Hey Gauri! There's only one house in the village with a neem tree in the yard. There's also a big field beside it. There's some chickens, 2 cows and 3 goats. And I know whose house that is! It's mine you silly girl! One thing before you go. Mother likes you too!

Bhuvan:
Let me remind you all of one thing. This is not a game we are playing for fun and entertainment. This is a fight we must win.

Bhuvan:
Whether you support me or not, Kachra will play.

Capt. Russell:
Is that the way a soldier behaves? You're SUPPOSED TO SALUTE when a superior officer passes!

Capt. Russell:
I didn't see it!

Capt. Russell:
That's better.

Lt. Smith:
I imagine your meeting didn't go quite as expected, sir?

Capt. Russell:
Damn right it didn't! The senile old hats want to teach me how to run the show. They've lost their sense of adventure with age!

Tipu:
Why is he pointing up?

Bhuvan:
That's what I'M trying to understand.

Guran:
Maybe he's calling for his Ma. She's sitting up there, eh?

Bhuvan:
Where's Gauri?

Jigni:
She's gone.

Bhuvan:
Where? Why are you glaring at me like that?

Bhuvan:
What the hell have I done now?