Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp

Lancelot Link, Mata Hairi:
What's your theory, Darwin?

Baron von Butcher:
This is the first step in my brilliant plan to steal and dispose of the Star of Karachi Diamond.

Ali Assa Seen:
I await your word, my leader. Yeah, yeah, y-yeah, yeah.

Baron von Butcher:
Tonight, you will steal the Star of Karachi Diamond. Then you will deliver it to the Duchess at Big Mountain Ski Resort.

Ali Assa Seen:
I understand.

Baron von Butcher:
I will get the diamond there and deliver it to the Dragon Woman on her nuclear power junk.

Ali Assa Seen:
Excellent!

Baron von Butcher:
Uh-huh. Danke Schoen.

Ali Assa Seen:
You and certainly welcome. Yeah.

Baron von Butcher:
Now, listen. [the Baron coughs] The Dragon Woman will then smuggle it into Hong Kong and sell it to a wealthy diamond merchant I have contacted.

Ali Assa Seen:
An ingenious plan.

Baron von Butcher:
I have covered every detail.

Ali Assa Seen:
How do I steal the diamond?

Baron von Butcher:
That's your problem.

Wang Fu:
Dragon Woman?

Dragon Woman:
Yes, Wang Fu?

Wang Fu:
What did Baron say in message?

Dragon Woman:
When Star of Karachi Diamond stolen, we sell it for $3 million.

Wang Fu:
Then divide money. How much for each of us?

Dragon Woman:
I figure out on abacus. [Short pause] Each member of C.H.U.M.P. will get $500,000.

Wang Fu:
What you do with your share of money?

Dragon Woman:
First thing, I will get rid of this abacus and buy adding machine.

Narrator:
A short time later, at the Headquarters of A.P.E., the Agency to Prevent Evil, Commander Darwin, the Head of A.P.E., awaited the arrival of his two top agents; Lance Link and Mata Hairi.

Commander Darwin:
Sit down, you two. [Darwin clears his throat]

Mata Hairi:
Hi, Commander. What's new on the robbery?

Commander Darwin:
We just intercepted a phone call from Ali Assa Seen to the Duchess out at the Big Mountain Ski Resort.

Lancelot Link:
Oh, what's your theory, Darwin?

Commander Darwin:
They're passing the diamond there. I'm sure.

Mata Hairi:
Oh, those fiends! Ooh!

Lancelot Link:
Don't worry, Commander. We'll stop them.

Baron von Butcher:
Did Ali Assa Seen get here yet?

The Duchess:
Not yet.

Baron von Butcher:
Have you seen any sight of A.P.E. agents around here?

The Duchess:
No, not a one.

Baron von Butcher:
Very good. That'll make everything easy.

The Duchess:
My maid mentioned there's a marvelous expert ski instructor here. I think I'll take some skiing lessons. [the Duchess walks away]

Baron von Butcher:
And so, soon we will have the most valuable jewel in the world.

The Duchess:
Oh, the famous Star of Karachi Diamond.

Creto:
Si, and it costs $3 million, too.

Baron von Butcher:
Nonsense. It costs C.H.U.M.P. nothing. We are going to steal it. [Creto and the Duchess chuckle]

Baron von Butcher:
[as Creto holds a pair of scissors above his head] Take some off the top. I don't like long hair.