Land of the Dead

Kaufman:
Zombies, man. They creep me out.

Motown is trying to hotwire an abandoned car.

Pillsbury:
Yellow to red!

Motown:
What the f*** does a Samoan know about hot-wiring a f***ing car?

Pillsbury:
50,000 cars stolen in Samoa every year.

Motown:
Well, a million in Detroit.

Pillsbury:
Detroit has 50 million cars. Samoa, 50,000. Every one stolen.

Slack:
Charlie, why do you lick your rifle?

Charlie:
Catches the light.

Slack:
What light? How can you see anything?

Charlie:
Good eye.

Kaufman:
[Kaufman gets in his private underground limo, while his driver opens the garage door] Careful when you open that door.

[Big Daddy appears, and attempts to get into the limo. His driver sees this, and runs out the garage door, leaving Kaufman in the limo]

Knipp:
Goodbye, Mr. K!

Kaufman:
Get back here, son of b*tch! You've got the f***ing keys!

[as Kaufman walks out of the elevator with two bags in his hands]

Sutherland:
What's in the bags?

Kaufman:
Money.

Sutherland:
Whose money?

[Kaufman reaches for his gun]

Kaufman:
Watch out, Get down! Quick!

[pulls him down and shoots him]

Kaufman:
Ours.

[Riley calls and tells Kaufman that they have got Dead Reckoning and Cholo]

Kaufman:
It's just – I've done something I wouldn't have done otherwise...

Arena Policeman:
What the hell is going on here?

Riley:
Someone shot the little fat man.

Arena Policeman:
Yes. I can see that.

Riley:
[about the fireworks] Put some flowers in the graveyard.

Charlie:
Put some flowers in the graveyard. How come you call them that, Riley? I don't get it. There here ain't the kind of flowers you lay on the ground, these here are sky flowers. Way up in Heaven.

Riley:
That's why I love you, Charlie; 'cause you still believe in Heaven.

Cholo:
[a shot is fired] What the hell's that?

Brubaker:
Oh, that's just target practice.

[scene cuts to soldiers]

Marksman:
Y'see that? right between the eyes!

Veteran Soldier:
Let me take a shot.

(Zombie starts to reach towards therm, but can only reach the veteran.)

Veteran Soldier:
Stop scratchin' my ass! You're gonna mess up my shot.

Marksman:
Dude, that ain't me.

Veteran Soldier:
There's nothing there, man.

[he's attacked by Big Daddy and screams]

Cholo:
Okay, so what the hell's that, screaming practice?

Riley:
[Slack shoots open the door, startling him] What the f*** are you doing?!

Slack:
I'm making myself useful!

Riley:
Make sure she doesn't hurt herself.

Slack:
I can take care of myself, okay?

Riley:
Fine. Charlie, make sure she doesn't hurt anyone else.

Mike:
It's like a bad dream.

Charlie:
I have bad dreams. Hell, yes. Just look at me, you can tell I have terrible dreams.

Charlie:
What happened, Riley, did you get f***ed?

Homeless man:
Ha-ha! You got f***ed!

[Driver of "Dead Reckoning" about to shoot Big Daddy's group]

Riley:
No. They're just looking for a place to go. Same as us.

[over the phone]

Riley:
The fences are still hot. We can't cut the juice from here.

Soldier:
We've been trying to call the power station. There's no one left over there.

Soldier 2:
[sees zombies advancing] We got to get the f*** out of here!

Soldier:
There's no one left here, either. [hangs up and runs]

Riley:
[Last Line] Take us North.

Cholo:
[Cholo notices a Zombie Gardener outside of Dead Reckoning] I know for a fact that if it wasn't for this truck I wouldn't be any different to that poor Mexican bastard out there.

Cholo:
There's only three things a man should do when he's alone, be born, die, and we all know the other thing...

Cholo:
[Cholo has been bitten and Foxy asks him if he'd rather be shot] Nah, I've always wanted to see how the other half lives.

Kaufman:
In a world where the dead are returning to life, the word "trouble" loses much of its meaning.

Kaufman:
[shoots Cholo who gets back up and continues toward Kaufman] Nah, you're dead! [sees that Cholo has turned into a zombie] Oh my god, you really are dead.

Kaufman:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!!!

Charlie:
[Near End] Sky flowers don't work no more.