Lars and the Real Girl

Lars Lindstrom:
I was hoping winter was over.

Margo:
No, it's just a thaw - winter isn't over till Easter.

Margo:
What are you doing Friday night?

Lars Lindstrom:
I have a school board meeting. Bianca got elected, so...

Lars Lindstrom:
How was the game?

Gus:
The cheese inspectors beat the crap out of us.

Lars Lindstrom:
[to Bianca, after she is given flowers] Those are nice, huh? And they're not real, so they'll last forever.

Gus:
Pretend that she's real? I'm just not gonna do it.

Dagmar:
She is real.

Gus:
Well...

Dagmar:
She's right out there.

Gus:
Right, right, I get that, but I'm just not gonna, you know...

Dagmar:
You won't be able to change his mind, anyway. Bianca's in town for a reason.

Gus:
But - but...

Dagmar:
It's not really a choice.

Karin:
Okay. Okay, all right, we'll do it, whatever it takes.

Gus:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And everyone's gonna laugh at him.

Dagmar:
And you.

Lars Lindstrom:
You don't care.

Karin:
We don't care? We do care!

Lars Lindstrom:
No you don't.

Karin:
That is just not true! God! Every person in this town bends over backward to make Bianca feel at home. Why do you think she has so many places to go and so much to do? Huh? Huh? Because of you! Because - all these people - love you! We push her wheelchair. We drive her to work. We drive her home. We wash her. We dress her. We get her up, and put her to bed. We carry her. And she is not petite, Lars. Bianca is a big, big girl! None of this is easy - for any of us - but we do it... Oh! We do it for you! So don't you dare tell me how we don't care. [walks into house and slams door]

Kurt:
Listen up, Margo, those action figures are very important to me. They're worth a lot of money. And if I don't see every damned one back on my desk pretty soon, then, you can tell your teddy to watch his back.

Margo:
[returns one action figure] I'll return them, one at a time... You going to Cindy's party?

Lars Lindstrom:
Oh, no.

Margo:
I was hoping you would. I really wish you would.

Lars Lindstrom:
Do you think I could bring my girlfriend?

Margo:
Oh, um, yeah, yeah, I'm totally bringing somebody

Lars Lindstrom:
Hm.

Dagmar:
Sometimes I get so lonely I forget what day it is, and how to spell my name.

Dagmar:
So, tell me about Karin. I don't know her very well.

Lars Lindstrom:
Oh, she's wonderful. Gus and I are very lucky with women - she's wonderful. But she...

Dagmar:
That's okay, let's find you something to read

Lars Lindstrom:
No, it's just... between us?

Dagmar:
Of course.

Lars Lindstrom:
I'm worried about her. I think she has a little problem.

Dagmar:
Oh, well, maybe you shouldn't tell me.

Lars Lindstrom:
No, that's okay. It's just, and I think it's because she's insecure, it's just, she's just always trying to hug everybody. You know, some people don't like that. Some people don't like to be hugged. But she doesn't realize that. She takes it personally, and, it hurts her feelings. I don't know what to do about that. Do you?

Dagmar:
It's such a comfort sometimes, just to have somebody's arms around you. Don't you think?

Lars Lindstrom:
No.

Dagmar:
It feels good.

Lars Lindstrom:
It does not feel good. It, it hurts.

Dagmar:
Oh, like a cut, or bruise?

Lars Lindstrom:
Like a burn. Like when you go outside and your feet freeze and you come back in and then they thaw out? It's like that. It's almost exactly like that.

Dagmar:
Same with everyone?

Lars Lindstrom:
Uh, not really with Bianca. But everyone else

Dagmar:
Don't you want to be an uncle?

Lars Lindstrom:
Don't you want to be a mom?

Dagmar:
[pauses, whispers] Yes. But I'm not able to have children of my own.

Lars Lindstrom:
What about me?

Mrs. Gruner:
Big baby! You're just like my husband. She'll be home at 11!

Gus:
What are we doing? Why are we doing this for him?

Karin:
Oh, come on. It's funny!

Gus:
Is it?

Karin:
I don't know. I don't know, maybe not. [gets up, leaves]

Lars Lindstrom:
I was talking to Bianca, and she was saying that in her culture they have these rites of passages and rituals and cermonies, and, just all kinds of things that, when you do them, go through them, let you know that you're an adult? Doesn't that sound great?

Gus:
It does.

Lars Lindstrom:
How'd you know?

Gus:
How'd I know what?

Lars Lindstrom:
That you were a man

Gus:
Ahhh. I couldn't tell ya.

Lars Lindstrom:
Was it... okay, was it sex?

Gus:
Um. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's uh, yeah, yeah it's kind of - it's uh - no. Well, it's kind of sex but it's not uh, you know? I don't know. I don't know. It's - uh - good question, good question.

Lars Lindstrom:
Yeah, but I have to know

Gus:
[dryer buzzes] Hold that thought.

Gus:
[in basement] You know, you should ask Dagmar

Lars Lindstrom:
I did ask Dagmar. And she said that I should ask you.

Gus:
Okay, you know I can only give you my opinion.

Lars Lindstrom:
That's what we want

Gus:
Well, it's not like you're one thing or the other, okay? There's still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what's right for you, what's right for everybody, even when it hurts.

Lars Lindstrom:
Okay, like what?

Gus:
Like, you know, like, you don't jerk people around, you know, and you don't cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, you know, and you admit when you're wrong, or you try to, anyways. That's all I can think of, you know - it sound like it's easy and for some reason it's not.

Reverend Bock:
Lars asked us not to wear black today. He did so to remind us that this is no ordinary funeral. We are here to celebrate Bianca's extraordinary life. From her wheelchair, Bianca reached out and touched us all, in ways we could never have imagined. She was a teacher. She was a lesson in courage. And Bianca loved us all. Especially Lars. Especially him.

Margo:
Things look so much better!

Sewing Circle Lady 3 - Hazel:
Well that's how life is, Lars.

Mrs. Gruner:
Everything at once.

Sewing Circle Lady 2 - Sally:
We brought casseroles.

Lars Lindstrom:
Thank you.

Lars Lindstrom:
[Lars looks around the sewing circle. The three ladies are knitting and doing needlepoint] Um, is there something I should be doing right now?

Mrs. Gruner:
No, dear. You eat.

Sewing Circle Lady 2 - Sally:
We came over to sit.

Sewing Circle Lady 3 - Hazel:
That's what people do when tragedy strikes.

Sewing Circle Lady 2 - Sally:
They come over, and sit.

Margo:
[having an awkward conversation defending Lars at a party] So, I here you guys are getting married?

Party Couple - Man:
No!

Party Couple - Woman:
Yes!

Margo:
[Margo walks away, having completely distracted the couple]

Kurt:
You know what your problem is, Margo? You're just too aggressive. Just chill-lax, you know?

Margo:
Shut up!

Dagmar:
Have there been any changes in the family in the last year or so?

Gus:
[while Karin simultaneously nods "Yes"] No, everything is pretty much exactly the same except Karin is pregnant and Lars is nuts.

Dagmar:
You know, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. What we call mental illness isn't always just an illness. It can be a communication; it can be a way to work something out.

Gus:
Fantastic. When will it be over?

Dagmar:
When he doesn't need it anymore.

Karin:
How can we help?

Dagmar:
Go along with it.

Karin:
Oh, no. No, that's... No.

Gus:
Oh, my. No, no, no. No. No, I mean, pretend that she's real? I'm not gonna do that. I mean, I can't. I'm just not gonna do it.

Dagmar:
She is real.

Gus:
Well...

Dagmar:
I mean, she's right out there.

Gus:
Right, right. I get that. But I'm just not gonna... You know, I'm just not gonna... I'm not gonna do it, so...

Dagmar:
You won't be able to change his mind, anyway. Bianca's in town for a reason.

Gus:
Right, but, but...

Dagmar:
It's not really a choice.

Karin:
Okay. Okay. All right, then, we'll do it. Whatever it takes.

Gus:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yep. And everyone's gonna laugh at him.

Dagmar:
And you...