Lawn Justice

Ophelia:
You are not a stupid person. And I'm sorry that I insinuated that you are. You have a trusting nature, just like me.

Shelly:
I'm gonna smack the tar out of your stupid face.

Shelly:
It's a stupid game for stupidheads.

Shelly:
Maybe I don't deserve it, but I need it, I need it, I need it.

Shelly:
I didn't lie. I do not lie.

Ophelia:
That's two more lies, right there.

Ophelia:
Oscar? My brother, Oscar? THAT Oscar?

Ophelia:
Crazy just won't leave you alone.

Ophelia:
It gives me the warm fuzzies to think she hasn't forgotten about me completely.

Ophelia:
Do you think they'll be upset?

Ophelia:
Oh. Hell. No.

Ophelia:
Sh*t just got interesting.

Ophelia:
I have been told by people much smarter than I, that pronouncing "lawyer" the way I do is a dead giveaway to my location.

Ophelia:
Don't swim too close to a drowning idiot.

Ophelia:
What you're hearing now may not even be my voice.

Ophelia:
I thought I was giving charity to a young single mom about to be homeless... F*** me, right?

Ophelia:
Just turn up the volume on the TV a little bit louder.

Ophelia:
This is a story of revenge.

Ophelia:
Whoops! Didn't see a thing.

Ophelia:
Tonight on "America's Most Disgusting"...

Ophelia:
He could pull a kitten out of a hat, so long as the kitten stayed quiet.

Nora:
When am I gonna get my bucket back?

Ophelia:
Silas had a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, terrible thought.

Ophelia:
Silas and I are working together to solve the Case of the Disappearing Sperm.

Ophelia:
Shelly was pinning the Father of the Year Award on Oscar's penis.

Ophelia:
Dude, we can get through this. You know we can. Please take care of yourself. Please come home soon.

Ophelia:
For a fun time, one might call upon Miss Sunshine. And if you play your cards right, Miss Sunshine's attractive friends might like to have a fun time, too. Now the song sucked, no pun intended.

Ophelia:
Fly free, little jailbird.

Ophelia:
He's not a woman. His words, not mine.

Ophelia:
I love how they called it an investigation. Like they had actually, you know, done their job.

Ophelia:
He'll make a very good lawyer someday. That almost made me cry.

Ophelia:
He says he's not a woman. His words, not mine.

Ophelia:
There's one green tree in my backyard. It's not a pine tree, it's not one of those that's evergreen all year round, it's just a regular normal tree that has decided that it's going to stay green this fall. While all of its surrounding trees are brown and red and leafless, it's just going to stay green. It just don't give a sh*t.