Lesbian Vampire Killers

Fletch:
The name's Fletch.

Fletch:
Maybe it's just... that I don't like kids, y'know.

Fletch:
(about Jimmy's hiking idea) That... is one of the shittiest ideas for a holiday I have ever heard!

Fletch:
So... what're five beautiful girls like you doing out on a night like this?

Fletch:
These girls are going to the exact same place we are going!

Fletch:
(after the final battle) Completely f***ing unbelivable!

Jimmy McLadden:
Did you punch a girl?

Jimmy McLadden:
Let's go hiking.

Jimmy McLadden:
{to Trudi) That doesn't even make the slighest bit of sense!

Jimmy McLadden:
(after Fletch destroys his phone)What was that for?

Jimmy McLadden:
She has a pure spirit.

Jimmy McLadden:
(when the lesbian vampires are hovering at the door) So, all we need to do really is sit tight and wait 'til morning. I mean, it's not like we're going to say Hey, lesbian vampires, come into our cottage, is it? (realizes what he's done has invited them inside) Ah, sh*t.

Carmilla the Vampire Queen:
If you strike me down, you shall bring about a curse to your daughters, and your daughters' daughters! And when I am struck down I shall rise again, more powerful than you can ever imagine!

Carmilla the Vampire Queen:
McLadden...

Eva:
We are gathered here, under the light of the red Moon.

Eva:
It is time.

Dialogue:
Jimmy: I have an idea.

Dialogue:
Fletch: Does it involve girls?

Dialogue:
Jimmy: An idea.

Dialogue:
Jimmy: Let's go hiking!

Dialogue:
Fletch: (bursts out laughing:) THAT... is one of the most depressingly shittiest ideas for a holiday I have ever heard!

(opening narration)

Dialogue:
Narrator: At the dawn of the Roman era, our hamlet was beseiged by a beast. A creature from the deepest pits of Hades, born of the hatred of men, and the lust for women. Its name, Carmilla.

Jimmy:
Wherever it lands on the map, we'll go!

(he throws his dart which lands somewhere in Suffolk)

Dialogue:
Fletch: (goes up to look) How do you pronounce that? Crags-wich? Crag-wich?

Dialogue:
Jimmy: I'll tell you what it is, it's called an A-D-V-N-T-U-R-E, my friend.

Dialogue:
Lotte: Do you like Carmilla?

Dialogue:
Jimmy: Uh, I dunno. Is that who it is?

Dialogue:
Lotte: Yes, Carmilla, the Vampire Queen.

Dialogue:
Jimmy: Vampire Queen?

Dialogue:
Lotte: Yes, but according to beliefs she's much more than your average vampire. She's rumoured to be over two thousand years old.

Dialogue:
Jimmy: So you believe in all that Dungeons & Dragons jumbo?

Dialogue:
Lotte: Oh, my family were very superstitious.

(opening narration)