Lesser of Two Evils

Josh:
While we're out of the hotel, why don't we try and do our best to not be complete f***ing a**holes. I think we could use some good karma, Ya know, some of the good stuff.

Patrick:
Even if karma were a real thing, the amount we would need in order to repair a fraction of the damage we've done is literally unattainable. There is no act selfless enough to send any good fortune our way.

Josh:
Right so there's two friends. One of which is the proctologist.

Patrick:
Protagonist.

Josh:
Yeah, that's what I said.

Patrick:
No, you said proctologist.

Josh:
What's the difference?

Patrick:
Well for starters, a proctologist is a doctor... of the ass.

Josh:
Oh.

Patrick:
Yeah, they remove unwanted material from people's a**holes. Day in and day out, elbow deep in dookie.

Josh:
Okay, well, what if the protagonist is a proctologist? And one day he's just in his office performing a normal procedure on somebody's poopshoot and BOOM!