Life As We Know It

Deborah Tynan:
We were so close, and now you won't even look at me.

Jackie Bradford:
It's gonna rain tomorrow. We should wear hats.

Sue Miller:
I really have to go to the bathroom.

Jackie Bradford:
Oh my God, so do I! I'm dying!

Sue Miller:
[whispering to Jackie] No you stay here and stall my dad, I have to go find Ben!

Jackie Bradford:
[to Mr. Miller] Oh, actually I don't have to go. That was weird!

Ben Conner:
[about Sue] I just feel like we're closer than ever!

Jonathan Fields:
That's so great, man.

Ben Conner:
Thanks.

Dino Whitman:
Could you two be any more gay?

Jonathan Fields:
Well, we could be two guys without girlfriends who have sex with each other. That would be more gay.

Dino Whitman:
Do you think she's hot? [about Zoe]

Michael Whitman:
I don't care if it's Cheryl Tiegs!

Dino Whitman:
Who?

Dino Whitman:
Have anything to say, Ben? A cheating mom? petrified penis?

Jackie Bradford:
[after seeing Ben, Mr. Miller, and Sue together at the ski trip] I really had to pee.

Jonathan Fields:
[in a desperate attempt to cheer up Dino after having discovered his mom's infidelity] This morning I went to the hospital because I thought my penis was going to explode!

Dino Whitman:
[after noticing that Ben Conner had blown off chicks] Hey, what if Ben's gay?

Jonathan Fields:
[chuckles] Ben gay.

Dino Whitman:
[after being kicked out of Jackie's party] I have to talk to Jackie!

Ben Conner:
Keep on walking!

Jonathan Fields:
I think I broke my eye.

Ben Conner:
[frustrated when all the girls are coming on to him when he's already with Miss Young] What am I, in season?

Michael Whitman:
Wait, since when you do make a move?

Annie Whitman:
How about 10 minutes ago!

Michael Whitman:
Oh, yeah. How about the two months of nothing?

Annie Whitman:
With Dino, he has every call.

Max Whitman:
[cuts Jonathon off of going to the restroom after Dino] I got to go!

Dino Whitman:
He's a good little monkey!

Jonathan Fields:
Hey, what the... [opening credits]

Annie Whitman:
It is true?

Michael Whitman:
What?

Annie Whitman:
Are you having an affair?

Michael Whitman:
If I was having an affair, I would be late at work, I won't bring my work home!

Ben Conner:
They say boys think about sex every fifteen seconds. I think about it every five seconds. I mean I'm thinking about it right now.

Jonathan Fields:
[on his cellphone in the drugstore] Hello?

Dino Whitman:
What's up, Jonathan? Hey, you want to come meet me at Jackie's game?

Jonathan Fields:
No, uh, I "got stuff going on." [pause] I'm gonna get laid!

Dino Whitman:
What?

Jonathan Fields:
Sex! I'm gonna get me some sex!

Dino Whitman:
Some slacks?

Jonathan Fields:
No, sex! *Sex*!

Jonathan Fields:
It's like, overnight you've become some kind of a sex expert.

Deborah Tynan:
What?

Jonathan Fields:
A sexpert!

Jonathan Fields:
I just can't shake the image of you rubbing his scraggly-ass beard all over your face.

Deborah Tynan:
It was one time!

Jonathan Fields:
Oooh, great, one time! Let's have a parade! [sarcastically]

Ben Conner:
There's a reason I never hook up. I don't know how to talk to girls my age. I mean they think you're weird if you're smart, and I don't know how to act dumb. So I try to think of what they want to talk about and I write it down so I know what to say before I say it but then when I say it, it doesn't sound like that I wanted to say.

Ben Conner:
You are not going another step, I swear to God I will take you down.

Jonathan Fields:
And I'll help. [holding his eye] Seriously, I will.

Ben Conner:
Yeah, I may not get any sex but I am constantly willing to continue this discussion.

Sue Miller:
O'Keefe, are you O'kidding?

Dino Whitman:
Where's the milk?

Annie Whitman:
Put it away.

Dino Whitman:
Ma!

Dino Whitman:
Maybe I do have a problem.

Dino Whitman:
I have to talk to you.

Jackie Bradford:
About what?

Dino Whitman:
It's about Zoe.

Jackie Bradford:
Oh, my God, Dino. Don't tell me that you got her pregnant.

Dino Whitman:
Not even close.

Dino Whitman:
Look, you really want to get back together with her, just be honest with her.

Jonathan Fields:
About what?

Dino Whitman:
Everything. With friends, it's the only way.

Ben Conner:
I love you.

Dino Whitman:
Shut up, okay? I know what I'm talking about.

Jackie Bradford:
Oh, thanks Dino. I miss one class and you get us and F

Dino Whitman:
What you shouldn't have skipped. Where were you anyways?

Jackie Bradford:
None of your business. I can't believe this Dino. How can you be so inepth?

Dino Whitman:
[laughs] [thinking] I am so done with her. Ya i'm gunna have sex with Zoe right here on Jackies desk. Then well do it on Changs desk

Matt Gleason:
[in Alan-on meeting] [whispering to Jackie] We don't have to stay for the whole thing. You wanna get out of here?

Jackie Bradford:
You can do that?

Matt Gleason:
Ya it's not a prison

Jackie Bradford:
Ya lets go

Matt Gleason:
[in the hallway going to the dance] Are you really sure you wanna go in there?

Jackie Bradford:
Are you getting cold feet?

Matt Gleason:
No it's just that dances aren't really my deal. And were not exactly dressed for it

Jackie Bradford:
Oh come on it'll be fun. Worst case, we get kicked out. Lets just go [walks into dance]

Annie Whitman:
I remember you guys as babies. [kisses Jonathon on the cheek] Jonathon, I used to change your diapers.

Ben Conner:
That was last week, wasn't it?

Annie Whitman:
[after Dino snaps her bra strap] Ow! Don't you ever do that again! Do you here me?

Dino Whitman:
I bet that Coach Scott did it.

Annie Whitman:
[pauses] What do you mean Coach Scott?

Michael Whitman:
[far away] What about Dave Scott?

Dino Whitman:
We were talking about my scedule, weren't we mom?

Dino Whitman:
Oh, that will be great so you won't have to wake at the crack of dawn. How about in the afternoon?

Dino Whitman:
[looks at Annie] I think he's busy in the afternoon.

Jackie Bradford:
Who do you keep calling?

Dino Whitman:
No one

Jackie Bradford:
Oh come on, you've been avoiding me all night on that stupid phone every time I see you

Dino Whitman:
Who's avoiding who? And maybe if you answered your phone every now and again you could have told me you were having a party

Jackie Bradford:
Me? Me? You didn't tell me first. I had to hear at practice about the party

Dino Whitman:
Ben and Jonathan mad me have one

Jackie Bradford:
What happened to a nice quiet evening just me and you talking?

Dino Whitman:
I can't tell you right now

Jackie Bradford:
Oh of course you can't. Right

Dino Whitman:
Not right now. But I will.

Jackie Bradford:
Look you were al over me. Jackie lets do it. And as soon as I say okay, you start messing with my head.

Dino Whitman:
Ya, except you didn't say okay until after said I didn't want it. So who's messing with who's head?

Jackie Bradford:
Because I thought I could trust you.That maybe we could tell each other everything. Guess I was stupid. [walks down stairs] [turns to Dino] Oh and for the record, your supposed to act all weird and distant after you get the sex. Write it down so you don't forget. [leaves]

Dino Whitman:
It's part-time at the mall, not a sweat shop in Indonesia