Local Hero

Mac:
I'd make a great Gordon, Gordon.

Rev. Macpherson:
You want to buy my church?

MacIntyre:
Not as a going concern.

Oldsen:
Why don't we kill it. Hit it with something hard?

Mac:
You've already done that with a two-ton automobile!

Mac MacIntyre:
Where's the door here?

Gordon Urquhart:
There is no door. Just knock on the window.

Mac MacIntyre:
How do you do business with a man who has no door?

Victor:
The ethics are just the same.

Gideon:
Yes! An' are there two g's in bugger off!

MacIntyre:
Old enough to be out on it's own.

Victor:
It's their place, Mac. They have a right to make of it what they can. Besides, you CAN'T eat scenery!

Mrs. Wyatt:
Dry, normal or greasy?

Mac MacIntyre:
Normal. Extra normal.

Mac MacIntyre:
Any comets around?

Ben Knox:
Do ye want to buy a comet now?

Mac MacIntyre:
Maybe.

Marina:
There's stuff fetching up here all the way from the Bahamas. You swim?

Oldsen:
Not that far.

Danny:
How's the water? Cold?

Marina:
Not as cold as it should be. The North Atlantic drift comes in here. That's warmish water from the Caribbean. That's why it's special here. There's stuff fetching up here all the way from the Bahamas.

Danny:
Oh, that's a long way.

Marina:
You swim?

Danny:
Not that far.

Victor:
How are things? I heard about the ceilihd.

Gordon Urquhart:
Oh, we've lots to tell you. We've been invaded by America. We're all gonna be rich.

Victor:
Really?

Gordon Urquhart:
We won't have anywhere to call home, but we'll be stinkin' rich.

Mac:
Did you cook my rabbit?

Happer:
Institute for the study sea and sky? I like it!

That's a whole lot of scenery

We have an injured rabbit also

If they're bombing the beach they're not bombing anyone else

Mac:
Whose baby?

Townsman:
I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight!

Give me colours Mackintire

Townsperson 1:
"All it's done is make me feel depressed. I don't feel any different."

Townsperson 2:
"Well, Edward, you'll just have to buck up. You'll need to accept the fact that your stinkin rich."

Gordon:
"You wouldn't have to work."

Ben Knox:
"Oh, we've all got to work, Gordon."

Ben Knox:
"This beach used to be a good living for 300 people. They gathered seaweed and extracted the chemicals. Two hundred years ago, this beach was turning over 15,000 a year. Then the trade routes opened up again to the east, and so, 'Farewell, Ferness'. The business went, but the beach is still here.

"If you got the place, it would be goodbye beach, forever, wouldn't it?"

Happer:
"Now that I'm here, I'd like to organize a presentation, something these people might need, a church hall, a piano, anything."

Mac:
"Ben's got this whole place sewn up."

Happer:
"I'll offer him the piano, if he's the problem."

Mac:
"We've tried most things."

Happer:
"Did you try a piano?"

Mac:
"No. We offered him 1.5 million. I don't know if he plays the piano."

Happer:
"Good sky you've got here, Macintyre. Well done."