Look Around You

Narrator:
You don't have to be a brain surgeon to operate on the brain.

Narrator:
In the meantime, thanks ants. Thants.

Narrator:
We're using AC-DC because it is heavy metal.

Peter Packard:
We're getting a call from Bournemouth... from Bournemouth.

Pam Bachelor:
Thank you! And best of luck, Patricia...

Patricia:
I do have a surname actually, but it's silent.

Patricia:
And we also do two other refill cartridges in pine and tomato.

Computer Jones:
Bournemouth, say something.

Bournemouth:
What would you like me to say.

Computer Jones:
Well, anything!

Bournemouth:
[sighs] Hello! This is Computer Jones speaking, I'm 57, I live on my own, and I practise kissing on my labrador!

Jack Morgan:
[testing out the Memory Helmet] Pam Bachelor, will you please give us the titles of ALL of Shakespeare's plays, starting now.

Pam Bachelor:
The Noble Naysayer, Rupert II, The Whore & The Harriman, The Weary Wives Of Warwick, O'Reilly, The House At Bunplehurst, Rupert III, Cognumis & Grognumis, 'Twas A Merry Morn In Malta, Tit For Tat, Ian I, Ian II, Ian III Part I, Ian III Part II, Ian III Part III, Razzamatazz, Summer In Paris, Bessie's Revenge, Rupert IV, David's Diary, Knock Knock, Catherine & Casanova, Rupert V and Harlem Blues.

Pam Bachelor:
So I suppose you could fix your make-up, while you work?

Patricia:
Well yes you could!... although I don't wear make-up myself.

Narrator:
You can pick up germs from a variety of sources, and because they're invisible they're almost impossible to see.

Teddy Clarke:
You are a very rude young man, and you're ruining it for everybody.

Leonard Hatred:
Oh f*** off!

Peter Packard:
And what's it made of?

Pam Bachelor:
Well, it's solid gold, plated in tin.

Leonard Hatred:
A baby could make that.

Peter Packard:
Thanks, Hanks. Thanks!

Pealy Maghti:
I wish I could that!

Jack Morgan:
I'm here with a special guest, his name is Adam Sandwich, now - who are you exactly?

Adam Sandwich:
I'm the British Counting Backwards champion!

Jack Morgan:
Oh that's fantastic! And I'm sure the crowd would love to hear a bit of backwards counting...? [crowd cheers in agreement]

Adam Sandwich:
I'll count backwards from twenty down to ten.

Jack Morgan:
OK, so let's have a handclap to get the rhythm going!

Adam Sandwich:
Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen, fifteen, thir-fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven, TEN!

Piece Of Toast:
James boooooooooooooooooooond!

Jack Morgan:
[In high-pitched voice, singing] Hello everybody, listen to my song / About a young man who was always doing wrong / And never seemed to do or say quite the right thing / But when you play my record, you'll hear him sing / Reggae man, what you doin'? / Reggae man, hear me now / Reggae man, what you doin'? / Reggae man, do it / Walk round town with a very sad face / All London all bopping the place / I'm walking down the road with a skanking style / I'm rocking and I'm walking in a boom-town style / Hear me ragamuffin in the rub-a-dub style / Skanking and a-skanking in the boom-city style / I'm walking round the place with a smile on my face / Cos they're playing my record, gonna mash up the place / Reggae man, what you doin? / Reggae man, come on / Reggae man, what you doin? / Reggae man / Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.

Jack Morgan:
Well, best of luck Provastian and Ninastian, and thank you both for showing us your balls.

Jack Morgan:
Now, question - What do these four footballers have in common? Bunyard Coopin, Willy Billiams, Jack 'The Lad' Jeffries and Partaria Flynn. Think you know the answer? Well, the obvious answer is that they're all deaf.

Pam Bachelor:
Gosh Pealy, you were really good at gonnis!

Pealy Maghti:
Thanks Pam, and the funny thing is I've never played golf OR tennis before, and I was on my period!

Pealy Maghti:
The game was overseen by the world's only professional gonnis umpire - Bunny Gnowles, who also happens to be Scott's boyfriend.

Pealy Maghti:
Pennsylvania, USA. When you think of Pennsylvania, you probably think of pencils. But in America, Pennsylvania is best known for it's baseball team: the Pennsylvania Pippins. And every Monday and Wednesday, thousands of fans flock to see such baseball legends as TJ Nottingham, Sonny Thompson and Xythantiops.

Pealy Maghti:
Scott even had an order for 40,000 gonnis sets, from none other than Tony Curtis.

Jack Morgan:
When the Olympic Games take place next year in Swansea Industrial Park, there'll be a record number of new events which have been formally accepted by the Olympic committee, and Swansea City Council.

Mario Abdullah-Levy:
I have to tell you Ros, it's absolutley freezing up here! And although I'd love to see it myself, I hope you're not wearing anything too skimpy!

Mario Abdullah-Levy:
[to Ros, after completing the Challenge] Well, Mazeltov, once again!

[repeated line]

Bunny Gnowles:
Quiet please!

Narrator:
But what is water? It's a difficult question because water is impossible to describe. One might ask the same about birds. What are birds? We just don't know.