Lost Boys

David:
Michael wants to know what's going on. Marco, what's going on?

Marko:
I don't know. What's going on, Paul?

Paul:
Wait a minute. Who wants to know?

Dwayne:
Michael wants to know.

David:
How are those maggots?

Michael Emerson:
Huh?

David:
Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?

Grandpa:
Second shelf is mine. That's where I keep my rootbeers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me.

David:
It is too late, my blood is in your veins.

Michael Emerson:
So is mine!

Grandpa:
If you read the T.V. Guide, you don't need a T.V.

Max:
Don't ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy. It renders you powerless.

Sam Emerson:
Did you know that?

Edgar Frog:
Sure. Everyone knows that.

Grandpa:
One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.

David:
What, you don't like rice? Tell me Michael, how could a billion Chinese people be wrong?

David:
Now you know what we are, now you know what you are. You'll never grow old, Michael, and you'll never die. But you must feed!

Alan Frog:
Holy Sh*t! It's the attack of Eddie Munster!

Edgar Frog:
The bloodsucking Brady Bunch!

Sam Emerson:
So where're we going?

Michael Emerson:
Nowhere.

Sam Emerson:
So what's the rush? You're chasing that girl aren't you? Come on, admit it. I'm at the mercy of your sex glands, bud.

Sam Emerson:
Got a problem, guys?

Edgar Frog:
Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.

Sam Emerson:
Pretty cool, huh?

Alan Frog:
For a fashion victim.

Edgar Frog:
Where the hell are you from? Krypton?

Edgar Frog:
You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something, you don't know sh*t, buddy.

Alan Frog:
Yeah? You think we just work at a comic book store for our folks, huh?

Sam Emerson:
Actually I thought it was a bakery.

Edgar Frog:
This is just a cover, we're dedicated to a higher purpose. We're fighters for truth, justice, and the American way.

Grandpa:
Hey, anything around here that might pass for aftershave?

Sam Emerson:
How about some Windex, Grandpa?

Grandpa:
Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that.

Michael Emerson:
You have a big date tonight, Grandpa?

Grandpa:
I'm going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson.

Michael Emerson:
What'd ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?

Sam Emerson:
Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You're a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, sh*t-sucking vampire.

Edgar Frog:
You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?

Sam Emerson:
Yeah, all day.

Alan Frog:
Does the sunlight freak him out?

Sam Emerson:
Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.

Edgar Frog:
Bad breath, long fingernails?

Sam Emerson:
Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath though.

Alan Frog:
He's a vampire all right.

Edgar Frog:
All right, here's what you do, get your self a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.

Sam Emerson:
I can't do that, he's my brother.

Alan Frog:
OK, we'll come over and do it for you.

Sam Emerson:
No!

Edgar Frog:
You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral.

Sam Emerson:
And then his dog started chasing my mom like the hounds of hell in "Vampires Everywhere."

Edgar Frog:
We've been aware there's some very serious vampire activity in this town for some time.

Alan Frog:
Santa Carla's become a haven for the undead.

Edgar Frog:
As a matter of fact, we're almost certain ghouls and werewolves occupy high positions at city hall.

Alan Frog:
Kill your brother, you'll feel better.

Alan Frog:
Holy sh*t, vampire hotel.

Alan Frog:
Aaaaaah! Flies!

Edgar Frog:
We're on the right trail. Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns. Come on.

Sam Emerson:
What's that smell?

Edgar Frog:
Vampires, my friend, vampires.

Alan Frog:
We blew it, man, we lost it!

Edgar Frog:
Shut up!

Alan Frog:
We unraveled in the face of the enemy!

Edgar Frog:
It's not our fault, they pulled a mind scramble on us. They opened their eyes and talked.

Alan Frog:
We don't ride with vampires.

Sam Emerson:
Fine, stay here.

Edgar Frog:
We do now.

Alan Frog:
Yeah.

Edgar Frog:
Come on Sam, let's get out of here. Burn rubber!

Edgar Frog:
Christ!

Sam Emerson:
Burn rubber does not mean warp speed!

Sam Emerson:
Guys, we're on our own.

Edgar Frog:
Good, just the way we like it.

Edgar Frog:
I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them.

Sam Emerson:
Death by stereo!

Edgar Frog:
Are you OK?

Sam Emerson:
I nailed one of them downstairs with a bow and arrow.

Alan Frog:
All right, Sam!

Edgar Frog:
We trashed the one that looks like Twisted Sister.

Alan Frog:
Totally annihilated his night-stalking ass!

Edgar Frog:
Well, Nanook helped a little.

Alan Frog:
Death to all vampires!

Edgar Frog:
Maximum body count!

Edgar Frog:
They're awesome monster bashers!

Alan Frog:
The meanest!

Edgar Frog:
The baddest!

Alan Frog:
Holy sh*t! The attack of Eddie Munster!

Alan Frog:
Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?

Sam Emerson:
No, it's actually a pretty cool place... if you're a Martian!

Edgar Frog:
Or, a vampire!

Sam Emerson:
You guys sniffin' on newsprint or somethin'?

Michael Emerson:
Looks like he's dead!

Sam Emerson:
If he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?

Sam Emerson:
There's no TV! Have you seen a TV Mike? I haven't seen a TV. Do you know what it means when there's no TV? - No MTV!

Sam Emerson:
Are you freebasing, Michael? Inquiring minds want to know.

Grandpa:
Do you know the rule about filling up the car with gas when you take it without asking?

Michael Emerson:
No, Grandpa.

Grandpa:
Well, now you do.

Alan Frog:
There's our number on the back. And pray you never need to call us.

Sam Emerson:
I'll pray I never need to call you.

Michael Emerson:
Look, this isn't a comic book, Sam, these guys are brutal killers.

Sam Emerson:
So are the Frog brothers!

Sam Emerson:
Don't kill me, Mike. I'm basically a good kid.

Paul:
You killed Marko!

Edgar Frog:
Yeah, and you're next!

Paul:
No, you're next!

Paul:
Haha! Garlic don't work, boys!

Edgar Frog:
TRY THE HOLY WATER, DEATH BREATH!

Sam Emerson:
My own brother a goddamn, sh*t-sucking vampire! Oh, you wait 'til mom finds out buddy.

Max:
I still want you, Lucy.

Max:
I haven't changed my mind about that.