Love! Valour! Compassion!

Buzz:
I don't date dancers. It's very simple, I've made it a rule: Dancers don't want to date me, so... f*** 'em!

Arthur:
I see you've had an accident. Back in Catholic Boys' School we used to call them "Nocturnal Emissions." It always made me think of Chopin; Nocturnal Emissions in G Minor.

Buzz:
Just once I'd like to see a "West Side Story" where everybody gets it; the Jets and the Sharks, and Officer Krupke; or a "Sound of Music" where the entire Von Trapp family dies in a horrible alpine avalanche; or "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" where nothing happens, and it's not funny.

James:
I must say, for a young country you've turned out almost as many pooftahs in 2 centuries as we have in 20.

Perry:
One thing you are NOT is a big queen.

Arthur:
You're right, I'm butch; I can catch a ball, I genuinely like both my parents, and I hate opera. I don't know why I bother being gay.

Perry Sellars:
C*nt! C*nt! F*** you in your ultimate driving machine!

Buzz Hauser:
I am sick to death of straight people. Tell the truth, aren't you? There's just too goddamn many of them. I was in a bank the other day; they were everywhere -- writing checks, making deposits. Two of them were applying for a mortgage. It's disgusting! They're taking over. No one wants to talk about it, but it's true.

Bobby Brahms:
So, is he attractive?

Arthur Pape:
I'm not supposed to notice these things, but I believe the word is "hot."