Love Stinks

Chelsea:
All I ever wanted to do was spend my life loving you, you disgusting sack of sh*t.

Seth:
If that's all you wanted, then why did you hire the sleaziest lawyer in town, you pathologically deluded, morally bankrupt, in-denial, self-esteem-deficient b*tch on wheels?

Chelsea:
I am NOT in denial.

Chelsea:
I really like this guy. I think that Seth could be the one.

Holly:
Are you serious? Does he feel the same way?

Chelsea:
Please, he's a man. He has no idea how he's feeling.

Holly:
We're going to go over strategy. Now, remember, Chelsea, it took me three breakups, seven ultimatums, and God knows how many not-so-thinly veiled threats before Larry coughed up this ring.

Chelsea:
Oooh. Okay, whatever it takes, I'm gonna marry that man.

Holly:
Don't call my best friend a hooker.

Seth:
You've put me off women. I'm gay now. And not just a little gay-full on, Liberace gay.

Seth:
Nice job, you f***ed up date night.

Seth:
Drop the probe and step away from my ass

Seth:
I'll sue your ass for damages for damaging my ass

Seth:
Back to Hell demon. Back to Hell.

Seth:
But we agreed to $100,000. We shook on it. We had sex on it.

Chelsea:
Hate sex.

Seth:
If you have a message for me leave it after the beep and if you have a message for Chelsea then you REALLY HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF WHY.

Chelsea:
Can I make it up to you?

Seth:
What did you have in mind?

Chelsea:
Back rub, blow-job, breakfast in bed.

Seth:
The three B's! It has a chance at working.