Lovely by Surprise

[first lines]

Marian:
Hey, I was writing this thing, and I believe in it. It can be good.

Jackson:
Of course.

Marian:
And I just couldn't get over the hugeness of writing a novel. I mean, the enormity of it. And I didn't feel this way until I got to this hard moment in the book. And now I can't seem to recover it. I keep shutting down when I try to write. It's scary.

Jackson:
That's not a new problem for writers, of course, you know.

Marian:
But it passes, and books are written, and life resumes again. Right?

Jackson:
Only if you write.

Marian:
Sounds so easy.

Marian:
[in a low voice] I'm only 3 chapters in, but I get the sense that one of the characters I'm writing knows he's being written.

Jackson:
Don't miss out on this. Killing the character that you love is the best thing about writing a book.

Marian:
Nice. You're like some demented 10-year old boy.

Bob:
We don't have any hotdogs.

Humkin:
Do you have any milk?

Bob:
We sell cars here. You need a car?

Humkin:
Yes. One car, full of hotdogs.

Bob:
Okay, that's enough of that. I need you to help me. Do you know what that means?

Humkin:
Yes. Do you need my flashlight?

Bob:
No. I need you to get in the car and go for a ride with me.

Humkin:
I need a hotdog.

Bob:
I will take you to get a hotdog. Just get in the car. I need you to look happy. I need you to wave to the people in the building, and get in the car. We will get you a hotdog.

Humkin:
Okay. I have a compass, so we won't get lost.

Humkin:
This is a fine car, Bob. I'd like to come back later and discuss a meal.

Bob:
Discuss a *deal*.

Humkin:
I'd like to discuss a deal.

Bob:
Very good.

Humkin:
And I'd like to purchase a no-load mutual fund, and a space suit. I would like to rule the Motor Mile with an iron fist. I would like to be your master. I will eat every hotdog in this Motor Mile, and drink melish with all of your Motor Mile wenches.

Humkin:
When I am sad, I forget that I am me. I become something else.

Mopekey:
I am here for the king of this castle. He will know who I am. I am here for milk. I need his milk.

Helen:
The king of this castle is probably sitting on the toilet clutching a pitching wedge. But he will return eminently.

[last lines]

Spokeswoman:
I'd like to introduce Marian Walker. [applause as she opens "The Neverything", A novel by Marian Walker]