Lymelife

Scott Bartlett:
You know, you can always hear the train on Long Island, no matter how far away.

Adrianna Bragg:
What are you Walt Whitman now?

Scott Bartlett:
Maybe you should've had a girl, they tell their mothers everything.

Brenda Bartlett:
Maybe you should have asked God for a mother who doesn't care about her children!

Scott Bartlett:
So are we gonna like... do it?

Adrianna Bragg:
Do you really want to talk about it?

Mickey Bartlett:
So you're telling me you weren't happy on your wedding day either?

Brenda Bartlett:
Telling me you felt trapped minutes before the ceremony didn't exactly bring a f***ing smile to my face!

Mickey Bartlett:
I was talking about the tux.

Brenda Bartlett:
Oh, so this is all just some big misunderstanding then?

Brenda Bartlett:
I don't love you anymore... I hate the way you smell... the way you brush your teeth... the way you eat your f***ing food... that sh*t eating grin on your face all the time, ugh, it makes me sick... and I won't spend another night in bed with you... you make me sick to my stomach.

Brenda Bartlett:
Mick he knows.

Mickey Bartlett:
Knows what?

Brenda Bartlett:
That you're a mother f***er... literally.

Mickey Bartlett:
What kind of sh*t is that to say?

Brenda Bartlett:
Well, you do f*** mothers, don't you?

Mickey Bartlett:
Man, you can take the girl out of Queens, am I right?

Scott Bartlett:
What did you hear?

Adrianna Bragg:
I head you fingered me and it was like the inside of a jelly donut. Uch, Scott, that is so disgusting!

Scott Bartlett:
So are we really going to like do it?

Adrianna Bragg:
Do you really think we should talk about it?

Adrianna Bragg:
It was weird seeing you getting your ass kicked. I felt like you were my little brother or something.

Scott Bartlett:
Really?... Your brother

Jimmy Bartlett:
R2-D2, is that really you?

Scott Bartlett:
They don't even f*** anymore.

Jimmy Bartlett:
What? How the f*** do you know that?

Scott Bartlett:
You know the rubbers under dads bed we used to use as water balloons?

Jimmy Bartlett:
Ew, yeah.

Scott Bartlett:
They haven't been there in over a year.

Jimmy Bartlett:
Okay, well first of all, that's sick to even think about and second, she's coming, so shut the f*** up.

Jimmy Bartlett:
No. Hey, no, sh*t bag. Too young for that.

Scott Bartlett:
Tastes like piss anyway.

Jimmy Bartlett:
It is piss.

Scott Bartlett:
Shut up, dick.

Scott Bartlett:
Are you really that sick, bringing her here?

Adrianna Bragg:
She's my mom, Scott. I can't just not let her do things.

Scott Bartlett:
I thought you weren't talking to me.

Adrianna Bragg:
I'm on the fence.

Scott Bartlett:
Well, if it means anything, technically I'm a man as of today so...

Adrianna Bragg:
Please, a man? I heard you're still a bald eagle. You know, no pubes.

Scott Bartlett:
Who said that?

Adrianna Bragg:
Me.

Jimmy Bartlett:
Oh sh*t. Oh, this is embarrassing.

Brenda Bartlett:
Hi guys!

Scott Bartlett:
Man!

Adrianna Bragg:
Hi, dad.

Charlie Bragg:
Hey!

Adrianna Bragg:
What do you think?

Charlie Bragg:
Um, nice shoes.

Adrianna Bragg:
Do you... Could you zip this up for me?

Charlie Bragg:
Uh, sure. Sweetie, don't you think you're gonna be kinda cold? With all the back exposed.

Adrianna Bragg:
Dad. Dad, c'mon. It's fine. I have a jacket and I mean it's a church party.