Make Me a Star

Merton Gill:
Do taxi cabs charge for just standing still?

'Flips' Montague:
Yes, why?

Merton Gill:
Well, it's worth it. [Buries his head in her chest]

Mrs. Scudder:
There's something very peculiar about him.

Mr. Gashwiler:
Well, that's the best idea we've had since the Saturday after Good Friday.

Mr. Gashwiler:
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this! If he don't stop lollygaggin' and moonin' around, I'm gonna get a new boy.

Mr. Gashwiler:
Phonograph records, pictures, diploma for acting, and a cowboy suit! So, that's what's wrong with you, eh? Well, it's got to stop, you hear me! Makin' yourself the laughin' stock of the whole town.

Mr. Gashwiler:
Don't you back talk to me! After all we've done for you. Takin' you out of the orphan asylum and given ya a good home! And a good job. Why, I even planned to taking you into partnership someday.

Merton Gill:
I got a career ahead of me and I'm not gonna let anybody stop me. I've been studyin'. And I been savin' too! For when I go to Hollywood. That's were I'm goin' someday! Hollywood!

Merton Gill:
Oh Lord, please make me a good movie actor. Make me one of the best.

The Countess:
Tell me, of all the different types of parts you play, what is the best thing you do?

Merton Gill:
Well, miss, I reckon Western parts are my forty.

'Flips' Montague:
Did anyone ever tell you that the picture game is a pretty tough racket?

Himself, Gary Cooper:
I got to step into wardrobe.

Herself, Tallulah Bankhead:
Alright, darling, see you later.

'Flips' Montague:
Hello, Countess.

The Countess:
Oh, hello Flips! Where you been all the time?

'Flips' Montague:
The last couple of days they've been shootin' scenes that I'm not in. So, I had my hair cleaned and pressed and here I am.

The Countess:
The old place ain't the same without what's-his-name.

'Flips' Montague:
Who?

The Countess:
The Sheik of Simsbury.

'Flips' Montague:
Now, listen, kid, I bet you think I'm hard boiled, don't cha? Well, maybe I am. Its just 'cause I know what its all about, that's all. Don't feel bad when I tell you, that, that you haven't got a Chinaman's chance.

'Flips' Montague:
Look, if I get you a ticket back to Simsbury, will you go?

Merton Gill:
Oh, no.

'Flips' Montague:
For the love of Pete, why not?

Merton Gill:
I couldn't. Not the way I feel about pictures. I mean, just think, making millions of people happy everyday, the way Buck Benson does. Even trying to do it, that's worth sacrificin' and sufferin' for it, isn't it?

'Flips' Montague:
Oh, I don't know whether its blind courage or supreme dumbness. Oh, how I hate pictures.

Merton Gill:
You shouldn't eat moldy beans. That's bad, isn't it?

'Flips' Montague:
Serves you right, you big lug!

Merton Gill:
I don't know where you like to eat, but, well, I kinda like to celebrate. You know and go to one of those places where, where they charge sixty cents for a plate of soup. Can you imagine, sixty cents for a plate of soup?

'Flips' Montague:
Easy, Trooper. You sure had mother guessing for a minute.