Malice in the Palace

Moe:
[giving turban to guard who has just been hit with fruit] Your hat.

Palace Guard (inside):
Thank you.

Moe:
You're welcome.

Palace Guard (inside):
[realizes what just happened] Why you-! [is cut off as Moe gets scared before dropping a vase on his his head]

Moe:
[to Hassen Ben Soba and Ginna Rumma] What'll you have?

Hassan Ben Soba:
We want...

Moe:
[cutting him off] We don't have any more.

Larry:
All we got left are rabbit and hot dogs.

Hassan Ben Soba:
Rabbit.

Ginna Rumma:
Hot dogs.

Larry:
Hot dog, they'll take rabbit.

Larry:
[after Hassan, Ginna, Moe, and Shemp think he's killed a dog and a cat, he comes out to serve the food] Here you are, gentlemen. Hot dogs, when it comes to cookin' are the cat's meow.

Hassan Ben Soba:
[to Shemp, getting up and pointing to his chair] Sit down!

Shemp:
Oh, but I'm not tired, I'll just stand while you eat.

Hassan Ben Soba:
[pulls out his dagger] Sit down with your hands on or off!

Moe:
Y-you talked us into it.

Guard outside palace:
Hark! Who goes there?

Moe, Larry and Shemp (together):
Santa Claus!

Guard outside palace:
Ah, there ain't no Santa Claus.

Shemp:
[as all three of them get out and open their bag] Oh, yes, there is, and we've got a present for you.

Guard outside palace:
You have?

Moe:
Yeah, right here! [hits the guard over the head and he falls into the bag unconscious]

Hassan Ben Soba:
I am Hassan Ben Soba.

Shemp:
I had a few too many myself.

[chuckles]

Moe:
Quiet!

[throws a handful of spaghetti in Shemp's face]

Moe:
There's only one 100-carat diamond, and it comes from Rootin Tootin's Tomb.

Shemp:
That's government property.

Moe:
Right, and if we return it, we'll get a big reward.

Larry:
Yeah! Maybe fifty-thousand bucks. Boy, with that kind of money, we could rent a one-room apartment in Hollywood... maybe.

Moe:
Hey, spinach chin, do you mean to tell me that you're only a doorman?

Hassan Ben Soba:
[tearfully] Yes!

Shemp:
Well, there's the door, man.

Shemp:
[after nearly bumping into Moe and Larry] Boy, if I hadn't ducked, we would have collided sure. What a narrow escape.

[stands up and knocks over the dishes being held above him]