Mask

Mask:
Hold on, Sugar! Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight!

Mask:
Hold me closer Ed, it's getting dark. Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out,

Mask:
, tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas, tell Scarlett I do give a damn,

Mask:
Thank you, you love me, you really love me!

The Mask:
It's party time. P, A, R, T. Why? Because I gotta!

Stanley Ipkiss:
No Milo, not the "cheese"... The "keys"!

Charlie Schumacher:
Forget her, Stanley... That girl will tear your heart out, put it in a blender and hit "frappe."

The Mask:
Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.

Charlie Schumacher:
That was beautiful! I got chills! What side of whose bed did you wake up on?

Peggy Brandt:
Most of the men in this town think monogamy is some kind of wood.

The Mask:
Sorry, wrong pocket.

Eddy:
The money better be here, Ipkiss. Or you're gonna "Ipkiss" your ass goodbye.

The Mask:
Hello Cherie. We meet again. Is it fate? Is it meant to be? Is it written in the stars that we are destined to fraternize?

The Mask:
I'd like to think so. Ha, ha ha!

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
There can't be two idiots with pajamas like these

The Mask:
As a matter of fact I do, Cubby.

The Mask:
LOOK AT THAT! It's about two seconds before I honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head!

The Mask:
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMOKIN!

The Mask:
Ooh, somebody stop me!

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Somebody STOLE your pajamas?

Stanley Ipkiss:
I mean, uh, what is this world coming to when a man's... *pajama drawer* is no longer safe?

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Margaret! Why you son of a b*tch!

The Mask:
Jeez, I figured you'd have a sense of humor; after all... YOU MARRIED HER!

The Mask:
I have a permit for that.

Dr. Arthur Neuman:
We all wear masks... metaphorically speaking.

Maggie:
Stanley, you are the nicest guy. Really, you are.

Stanley Ipkiss:
Yeah?

Maggie:
Charlie, isn't Stanley the nicest guy?

Charlie Schumacher:
The best.

Charlie Schumacher:
That was THE most sickening display I've ever seen.

Stanley Ipkiss:
I disagree. I think I'm wearing her down.

Charlie Schumacher:
The Coco Bongo Club. Hottest new joint in town. Only the creme de la creme need apply.

Stanley Ipkiss:
So how do we get in?

Stanley Ipkiss:
It's a power tie. It's supposed to make you feel powerful.

Tina Carlyle:
Does it work?

Stanley Ipkiss:
Now, how about that account? We have savings, checking, savings and checking, CDs, savings and CDs, checking and CDs, savings, checking, and CDs, T-bills, or we can just take all your money and throw it in a big mattress back there.

Stanley Ipkiss:
I'm here for the Civic.

Irv:
The brake drums are shot and you need a new transmission.

Stanley Ipkiss:
What? All I wanted was an oil change!

Burt:
Well, you're lucky we found these problems now before they cause you some serious trouble.

Mrs. Peenman:
Ipkiss, turn down those cartoons!

Stanley Ipkiss:
All right, Mrs. PeenMAN!

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Ipkiss? Stanley Ipkiss?

Stanley Ipkiss:
Yes?

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Lt. Kellaway, city precinct. You know anything about the disturbance last night?

Stanley Ipkiss:
Dis... turbance?

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Yeah, some kind of prowler broke in and attacked Mrs. Peenman.

Stanley Ipkiss:
Attacked?

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
You didn't hear anything? She unloaded a couple of rounds of buckshot 5 feet from your door.

Stanley Ipkiss:
This is... impossible.

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Those pajamas are impossible. This actually happened.

Stanley Ipkiss:
See, I have an inner ear problem. Sometimes I can't hear anything.

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Is that a fact?

Stanley Ipkiss:
Eh?

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Here's my card. If you remember anything unusual about last night, anything at all, call me.

Stanley Ipkiss:
You betcha. Thank you. And good luck... cracking the case.

Peggy Brandt:
I'm with the Evening Star. Can you tell me what happened here?

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
No, and you can quote me.

Peggy Brandt:
Well, it looks like some sort of Mob tactic.

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
There it is, boys, she broke the case. Come on, get these rubbernecks out of here.

Peggy Brandt:
Hi, I'm Peggy Brandt from the Tribune.

Stanley Ipkiss:
Oh, hi. Look, I cancelled my subscription because they kept stealing my paper from the...

Peggy Brandt:
Oh, no, actually, I just want to ask you a few questions.

Stanley Ipkiss:
Really? About what?

Peggy Brandt:
Ripley Auto Finishing. You're a customer of theirs, aren't you?

Stanley Ipkiss:
Me? No. I don't even have a car. You know, 'cause they pollute.

Peggy Brandt:
You don't own an '89 Civic?

Stanley Ipkiss:
Oh, that car, yeah. Yeah. It's all coming back to me.

Dorian Tyrell:
50 grand. 50 grand to the man who finds that green-faced son of a b*tch before the cops do. I want you to get the word out to every street hustler, to every lowlife in this town, you understand? I want him here tomorrow, alive.

Doyle:
You got any pickle relish?

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Doyle, get in the car.

Doyle:
But I ordered onion rings.

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Doyle!

The Mask:
And now, like Napoleon, I will divide and conquer.

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
Ipkiss! Police!

The Mask:
Merde.

Dr. Arthur Neuman:
I'm talking about the mythology, Mr. Ipkiss. This is a piece of wood.

Dorian Tyrell:
Stanley! Tell me. How's this mask work?

Stanley Ipkiss:
I don't know. You just put it on.

Eddy:
Boss! You better be carefull, huh?

Dorian Tyrell:
What a rush!

Eddy:
Wow, boss! You're okay?

Dorian Tyrell:
Better than ever, you idiot.

Eddy:
What do we do with Ipkiss?

Dorian Tyrell:
The police are looking for The Mask. So, we'll give them the mask.

Stanley Ipkiss:
Back off monkey-boy, or I'll tell your daddy you're running this place like you're own personal piggie-bank or maybe I should call the IRS and arrange a little vacation for you at club FED!

The Mask:
Noooo. But I believe my friends are. Perhaps you know them.

The Mask:
Franklin, Grant, and... Jackson?

The Mask:
Look Ma, I'm roadkill!

The Mask:
Did you miss me?

The Mask:
I GUESS NOT!

Dorian Tyrell:
I'm gonna take you apart.

Stanley Ipkiss:
Well, I hope you can enjoy the victory with one freakin' eye!

The Mask:
Je t'adore. Je t'window. I don't care!

Doyle:
That doesn't sound good!

Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway:
What *would* sound good to you, Doyle?

Doyle:
Breakfast!