Mass Effect

[opening title]

Placard:
In the year 2148, explorers on Mars discovered the remains of an ancient spacefaring civilization. In the decades that followed, these mysterious artifacts revealed startling new technologies, enabling travel to the furthest stars. The basis for this incredible technology was a force that controlled the very fabric of space and time. They called it the greatest discovery in human history. The civilizations of the galaxy call it... MASS EFFECT.

Ashley Williams:
Why is it whenever someone says "with all due respect", they really mean "kiss my ass"?

Mira:
It looks like you are trying to restore this facility. Would you like some help?

Commander Shepard:
Oh crap, a pop-up.

[Shepard and company, trapped in a crumbling mine, confront opposition]

Commander Shepard:
In case you hadn't noticed, this whole place is falling apart!

Krogan Mercenary:
Exhilarating, isn't it?

Urdnott Wrex:
So this is the famous turian general? How did your kind ever defeat us?

General Septimus:
I may be drunk, krogan, but you're ugly. And tomorrow I'll be sober.

Kaiden Alenko:
Now we have to find... to find...

Commander Shepard:
[sees the Thorian] That's... large.

Ashley Williams:
That puts a whole new spin on the phrase "drop on the floor and give me twenty".

Commander Shepard:
You still sassin' me soldier? I think you need more physical training.

Ashley Williams:
Tsk. Now, skipper, what will it take to prove I'm in prime condition?

Saren Arterius:
Your species must know its place.

Commander Shepard:
Together we can stop Sovreign. We don't have to submit to the Reapers. We can beat them!

Saren Arterius:
I no longer belive that Shepard. The visions cannot be denied. The Reapers are too powerful. The only hope of survival is to join with them. Sovreign is a machine. It thinks like a machine. If I can prove my value, I become a resource, worth maintaining. There is no other logical conclusion.

Commander Shepard:
You were a Spectre. You swore to protect the galaxy. Then you broke that vow to save yourself.

Saren Arterius:
I'm not doing this for myself. Don't you see, Sovreign will succeed. It is inevitable. My way is the only way any of us will survive. I'm forging an alliance between us and the Reapers, between organics and machines, and in doing so, I will save more lives than have ever existed. But you would undo my work. You would doom our entire civilization to complete annihilation, and for that, you must die.

Commander Shepard:
You think I'm crazy, don't you?

Urdnott Wrex:
Sometimes crazy is the best way to go.

Sovereign:
We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure.

Sovereign:
We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world.

Sovereign:
We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything.

Krogan Mercenary:
Surrender. Or don't. That would be more fun.

Salarian Businessman:
[talking on extranet "phone"] I need you to find some information on - are you ready for the name? - 'Rannadril Ghan Swa Fulsoom Karaten Narr Eadi Bel Anoleis'. No, that's the administrator.

Conrad Verner:
What if you signed me on as another Spectre?

Commander Shepard:
Conrad, I haven't been shot in the head nearly enough times to make that sound like a good idea.

Saren Arterius:
Is submission not preferable to extinction?

[last lines]

Captain David Anderson:
Shepard's right. Humanity is ready to do its part. United with the rest of the Council, we have the strength to overcome any obstacle. When the Reapers come, we must stand side by side. We must fight against them as one. And together we can drive them back into dark space!

Urdnott Wrex:
In the ruins at Therum: Sterile White... Protheans sure built things homey.

Kaiden Alenko:
I think we're gonna need a bigger boot, Commander.

Ashley Williams:
So all we have to do is find this Thorian thing and... woah.

Commander Shepard:
We're gonna need bigger guns.

Gianna Parasini:
[arresting Anoleis] You have the right to remain silent. I wish to God you'd exercise it.

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya:
[in Citadel elevator] So, Dr. T'Soni, all these Prothean ruins we're exploring - this must be like a survey for you.

Liara T'Soni:
Not exactly. For one, I am usually alone on my expeditions, and two, they involve much more time for study... and far fewer explosions.

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya:
Yes, it's a pity that most of the technology I had planned to bring back to the Flotilla has subsequently tried to kill us.

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya:
How can you fight your own people?

Urdnott Wrex:
Anyone who fights us is either stupid or on Saren's payroll. Killing the latter is business. Killing the former is a favor to the universe.

Female Commander Shepard:
The council represents more races than I thought. No wonder they're careful with newcomers.

Kaiden Alenko:
They probably just want to keep everything running. It has to be hard keeping all these cultures working together.

Ashley Williams:
Or maybe they just don't like humans.

Female Commander Shepard:
Why not? We've got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love. According to the old vids, we have everything they want.

Kaiden Alenko:
When you put it that way, there's no reason they wouldn't like you. I mean, us! Humans! Ma'am.

Ashley Williams:
You don't take much shore leave, do you, L-T?

Ashley Williams:
Yeah, well if you want me in a tin foil mini skirt and thigh-high boots, I'm gonna need dinner first... Uh... sir...

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya:
[to Shepard] What is it about you that makes people think we enjoy being in harm's way?

Urdnott Wrex:
Just because I like you doesn't mean I won't kill you.

Commander Shepard:
You must have family other than your father. Don't you miss them?

Urdnott Wrex:
You trying to make me cry, Shepard?

Captain Maeko Matsuo:
Sergeant Stirling, secure their weapons.

[the team draws]

Urdnott Wrex:
Don't try it.

Commander Shepard:
Let's not start a fight.

Urdnott Wrex:
Why not?

Ashley Williams:
Huh. Nobody died.

Kaiden Alenko:
I could shoot someone if it would make you feel better.

Ashley Williams:
Nah, I'm good.

Commander Shepard:
You must have had some kind of interesting experience.

Urdnott Wrex:
Well, there was this one time the Turians tried to wipe out our entire race. That was fun.

Matriarch Benezia:
No light? They always said there would be a light...

Liara T'Soni:
Who votes to take the vehicle into the creepy underground tunnel?

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya:
I'm pleased that the imminent destruction of all organic life has improved you career opportunities.

Charles Saracino:
If aliens express their opinions at gunpoint, then why shouldn't we?

Urdnott Wrex:
Because they have bigger guns?

Sovereign:
We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.

Ashley Williams:
What *is* that? Some kind of VI interface?

Sovereign:
Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding.

Ashley Williams:
I don't think this is a VI.

Commander Shepard:
The Council can kiss my ass!

Asari Councilor:
Commander. Is this some kind of game? Are you calling in a report just so you can cut us off again?

Commander Shepard:
You know it.

[disconnects communication]

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
That never gets old, does it?

Turian Councilor:
Do you take pleasure from committing genocide, Shepard?

Commander Shepard:
Depends on the species, Turian.

Commander Shepard:
[points gun at Conrad Verner's face] Conrad, you have no idea what it takes to get the job done. This is how a gun in your face feels! It happens to me every day. You can't handle this.

Conrad Verner:
[starts crying] I thought you were a hero! Hero's don't do things like this! I wish I'd never met you.

Krogan Mercenary:
[to a Virtual Intelligence hologram] Tell me what I want to know, or I'll blast your virtual ass into actual dust!

Alestia Iallis:
[an asari enters the room accompanied by armed geth] Your mission ends here, Shepard.

Ashley Williams:
What the hell?

Commander Shepard:
She's surrounded by geth and pointing a gun at us. Shoot her!

Sovereign:
You are not Saren.

Garrus Vakarian:
What is that? Some kind of VI interface?

Sovereign:
Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh, you touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding.

Garrus Vakarian:
I don't think this is a VI...

Sovereign:
There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign.

Commander Shepard:
Sovereign isn't just some Reaper ship Saren found. It's an actual Reaper!

Sovereign:
Reaper? A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they chose to call us is irrelevant. We simply... are.

Garrus Vakarian:
The Protheans vanished over 50,000 years ago. You couldn't have been there, it's impossible!

Sovereign:
Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal, the pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything.

Commander Shepard:
Whatever your plan is, it's going to fail. I'll make sure of that.

Sovereign:
Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken.

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya:
Cycle? What cycle?

Sovereign:
The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance, and at the apex of their glory they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays. They mere found them - the legacy of my kind.

Commander Shepard:
Why would you construct the mass relays and leave them for someone else to find?

Sovereign:
Your civilization is based on the technology of the mass relays. Our technology. By using it, your civilization develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic life. You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya:
They're harvesting us! Letting us advance to the level they need, then wiping us out!

Commander Shepard:
What do you want from us? Slaves, resources?

Sovereign:
My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation - independent, free of all weakness. You cannot grasp the nature of our existence.

Commander Shepard:
Where did you come from? Who built you?

Sovereign:
We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure.

Commander Shepard:
Where are the rest of the Reapers? Are you the last of your kind?

Sovereign:
We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom.

Commander Shepard:
You're not even alive! Not really. You're just a machine, and machines can be broken!

Sovereign:
Your words are as empty as your future. I am the Vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over...

Ambassador Calyn:
Pleased greetings: Human it is always good to see your kind. I am Ambassador Calyn. Genuine query: Is there something I can do for you this day?

Commander Shepard:
Why do you explain what you're about to say?

Ambassador Calyn:
Our people communicate less through words and more through scent and slight movements. Plainly: We discovered our vocal expression was not enough to convey the feelings of our conversations to other species.

Din Korlack:
Why do you bother, Calyn? These Earth-clan don't really care about our ways!

Ambassador Calyn:
Remorseful response, Din: You don't truly believe that. And if you do, I am very sorry for you.

Commander Shepard:
Goodbye, Ambassador.

Ambassador Calyn:
Sincere farewell: Good day to you, human. Enjoy your time on the Citadel.

Gianna Parasini:
You can't bludgeon your way through bureacracy, Shepard.

Commander Shepard:
I can bludgeon pretty hard.

Harkin:
Secrets are like herpes: If you got 'em, might as well spread 'em around.

C-Sec officer:
Wrex, do you want us to arrest you?

Urdnott Wrex:
I want you to try.

Turian Councilor:
[the council refuse to believe Shepard, despite the truth of his past claims] I believe there is a saying amongst you humans: "even a broken clock is correct two times a day."

Commander Shepard:
Here's another saying: *go to hell!*

Commander Shepard:
I need to activate the neutron purge.

Mira:
I'm sorry, but the proper authorization code is required.

Commander Shepard:
[Mumbling] Uh... Sic semper, tyrana...

Commander Shepard:
[Coughs]

Sovereign:
'Reaper,' a title given to us by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end what you call us is irrelevant. We simply are.

Asari Councilor:
Commander Shepard - step forward.It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel.

Salarian Councilor:
Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle; those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file.

Asari Councilor:
Spectres are an ideal, a symbol. The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instrments of our will.

Turian Councilor:
Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold.

Asari Councilor:
You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species.

Liara T'Soni:
[on Virmire] I don't know what is worse: the geth, or all this sand in my... nevermind!

Female Commander Shepard:
What's wrong with your assistant?

Dr. Warren:
Manuel has a brilliant mind, but he's always been a bit... unstable. Genius and madness are two sides of the same coin.

Dr. Manuel:
Is it madness to see the future? To see the destruction rushing towards us? To understand that there is no escape? No hope? No, I am not mad. I'm the only sane one left.

Dr. Warren:
I gave him an extra dose of his meds after the attack.

Female Commander Shepard:
Say goodnight, Manuel.

Dr. Manuel:
You cannot silence the truth! My voice must be heard - ungh!

[Shepard punches Dr. Manuel unconscious]

Dr. Warren:
Oh my God! What did you do?

Kaiden Alenko:
That might've been a little extreme, Commander

Captain Kirrahe:
You all know the mission, and what is at stake. I have come to trust each of you with my life. But I have also heard murmurs of discontent. I share your concerns. We are trained for espionage. We would be legends, but the records are sealed. Glory in battle is not our way. Think of our heroes: the Silent Step, who defeated a nation with a single shot, or the Ever Alert, who kept armies at bay with hidden facts. These giants do not seem to give us solace here, but they are not all that we are. Before the network, there was the Fleet! Before diplomacy, there were SOLDIERS! Our influence stopped the Rachni, but before that, we held the line! Our influence stopped the Krogan, but before that, we held the line! Our influence will stop Saren! In the battle today, we will hold the line!

Yaroslev Tartakovsky:
[Shepard's Squad arrives at the Rift Station Hot Labs, finds a lone man sitting in the middle of the control room; the man appears confused] Are you here to secure the situation?

Female Commander Shepard:
If by "secure" you mean "shoot every monster I see," sure.

Urdnott Wrex:
[Shepard has just successfully destroyed the claws that kept a geth ship attached to the outside of the ExoGeni tower] This was my kind of mission. Kill a bunch of geth and end things with a huge crash.

Juliana Baynham:
[Juliana Baynham has asked Cmdr. Shepard to come and hear her idea about how to deal with the Thorian, a creature mind-controlling the local colonists] I'm glad you've decided to help us. I think there's a way to avoid killing the colonists.

Female Commander Shepard:
What did you have in mind?

Juliana Baynham:
I think you could safely use a nerve agent to neutralize the colonists.

Dr. Lizbeth Baynham:
Like a gas grenade!

Female Commander Shepard:
Releasing clouds of nerve gas doesn't seem like a particularly good idea.

Juliana Baynham:
It's not like it's weapons grade. The insecticide we use in the gro-labs contains trace amounts of Tetraclopine, a neuromuscular degenerator. If their nervous systems are already weakened, it may act as a paralyzing agent.

Urdnott Wrex:
If we must consider it, drop it in a concussion grenade.

Liara T'Soni:
[Cmdr. Shepard & squad set off from the Zhu's Hope colony, onto the Prothean Skyway] And now to the geth base. Not something an intelligent being would typically say.

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
[Shepard checks in with Joker on the Normandy after freeing the colonists on Feros from the Thorian's mind control] Ah, hey, Commander. Next time we touch down, let's try not to park the ship in a colony of mutant zombies. Just thinking out loud here.

Garrus Vakarian:
[Cmdr. Shepard, Garrus and Wrex have arrived at Peak 15 and have just won a firefight against some geth. Suddenly, they hear clunking noise, like something moving. Garrus is alerted] What was was that? What was that?

Urdnott Wrex:
[Not the least bit unnerved by the sounds] Probably debris. Don't have a panic attack. I'll protect you.

Alestia Iallis:
[an asari scientist enters the lab accompanied by armed geth] Your mission ends here, Shepard.

Urdnott Wrex:
We'll see about that, b*tch.

Female Commander Shepard:
[Shepard has made the decision concerning the rachni] Make your peace with the galaxy. The rachni are a dead race.

Garrus Vakarian:
We can't exterminate them. Not without the Council's approval. Genocide is one of the reasons we fought the krogan - [realizes what he has just said] Ah...

Urdnott Wrex:
[Angered] You want to learn about genocide, Vakarian? I'll take you to a krogan obstetrician's office.

Rachni Queen Speaking Through an Asari Commando:
Is our kind so frightening? You would seek our silence if you cannot muffle our songs? If you cannot have us as your obedient claws?

Female Commander Shepard:
No... I can't do this. I'll let you go free.

Rachni Queen Speaking Through an Asari Commando:
You will give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children.

Urdnott Wrex:
[Annoyed] Great. Bugs are writing songs about you. Mark my words. You'll regret this.

Female Commander Shepard:
[Cmdr. Shepard is a War Hero, which makes for a conversation subject with Ashley] I come from a military family too. My parents were both navy. Anybody in your family we might know?

Ashley Williams:
[Evasive] Couldn't say, Commander. [pause] We probably have a lot in common. You join up to carry on the tradition?

Female Commander Shepard:
I'm here to put hyper-velocity rounds through the heads of bad guys.

Ashley Williams:
Most satisfying part of the job, Commander.

Commander Shepard:
It's nice to know where I stand with the galaxy. But where do I stand with you?

Ashley Williams:
About a meter away. Maybe 1.2 meters... sir.

Ashley Williams:
[after listening to a message from her sister about how cute Shepard is. Turns around, seeing Shepard right behind her] Please tell me you didn't hear that.

Commander Shepard:
Afraid I did.

Ashley Williams:
Oh, shoot me now.

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
Thrusters, check. Navigation, check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift... just over 1,500 K.

Nihlus Kryik:
1,500 is good. Your captain will be pleased. [Leaves]

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
I hate that guy.

Kaiden Alenko:
Nihlus gave you a compliment, so you hate him?

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau:
You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on your way out of the bathroom? That's good! I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead, so that's incredible! Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid.

Kaiden Alenko:
You're paranoid.

Urdnott Wrex, Kaiden Alenko:
This isn't right, Shepard. If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it.

Female Commander Shepard:
This has to be done. Saren's the enemy, not me.

Urdnott Wrex:
Really? Saren created a cure for my people. You want to destroy it. Help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand.

Female Commander Shepard:
I don't care what your personal feelings are. This base gets destroyed.

Urdnott Wrex:
Don't push me, Shepard. I followed you because I wanted to fight for something more than credits. If you can't give me a better reason than this to destroy the hopes of my people, then I'm done with you.

Female Commander Shepard:
All you need to know is that I'm giving you an order to fall in line.

Urdnott Wrex:
So that's it. All this time, and that's all I get from you? How can you not see what this means to the Krogan? This base can't be destroyed. I won't allow it! [Shepard hits Wrex over the head and shoots him three times]

Kaiden Alenko:
Commander. Are you... alright?

Female Commander Shepard:
I'm feeling a hell of a lot better than he is.

Garrus Vakarian:
Saren is either a traitor or a madman. Taking him down will restore the good name of turians everywhere.

Urdnott Wrex:
Glad to hear it. I was losing sleep over the prospect of people not loving the turians.