Men at Work

Louis:
There are several sacred things in this world that you don't *ever* mess with. One of them happens to be another man's fries. Now, you remember that, and you will live a long and healthy life.

Louis:
Looks like somebody threw away a perfectly good white boy!

Carl:
What does a phrenologist feel and interpret?

James:
The size of Walt's a**hole.

James:
Who was Richard Nixon's chief of staff during the final days of Watergate?

Carl:
Oprah Winfrey.

James:
What are you doing?

Carl:
I hate shitheads who bully their women.

James:
So what are you going to do?

Carl:
Shoot him.

James:
What?

Carl:
It's the principle, James.

James:
With a pellet gun? What are you going to accomplish using that stupid thing?

Carl:
It allows me to seriously aggravate a situation without actually changing the course of history. It also stings like a b*tch.

Louis:
Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Carl:
C'mon, guys. I'm not gonna get in over my head.

James:
Yeah, well that depends on which head you're talking about.

James:
This is the last year we throw trash.

Carl:
You said that last year.

James:
Yeah, but this year I mean it.

Carl:
You meant it last year.

James:
I want to report a murder and a kidnapping.

James:
No, I have the body.

James:
No, I didn't kill him.

James:
No, I'm not the one who's been kidnapped. Listen, I know this sounds really strange...

James:
What a beautiful day. Warm Sun, beautiful women, and the air... is just right... for drinking.

James:
Carl spends the evening with a beautiful woman and I'm stuck here with a lunatic and a corpse.

Louis:
When I feel like talking to you, I will look at you.

James:
Eh, Carl?

Carl:
Yeah?

James:
What did you mean when you said I was hopeless?

Carl:
I meant exactly... what I said.

James:
I still don't understand.

Carl:
Well, let's examine the word: hope-less. Less than hopeful. That's what you are.

James:
Am I minorly hopeless, or majorly hopeless?

Carl:
I'd say, majorly. Why do you ask?

James:
I'll try and change.

Carl:
No, you won't.

Louis:
They're moving, let's go!

Louis:
Pizza Cong comes with us. Get him on his feet, I'll get Tricky Dick.