Missionary Positions

[first lines]

announcer #1:
For four days exhibitors are selling sex products at the Sands Expo, yet among all this pornography are two men selling God.

announcer #2:
Pastors at a pornography convention, advertising a triple-X web site? Now that'll grab your attention, and that's exactly what they want.

Craig Gross:
No, you're not gonna see porn on there, but what you are gonna find, you're gonna find Bible studies, you're gonna find sermons, you're gonna find resources, helps and referrals.

Mike Foster:
We just think there's something better than the adult expo, and that's hope of heaven.

Craig Gross:
This is Rex the Rabbit, he's our mascot.

ex-wife:
He preferred to be there in the bathroom that he choose or what ever other places, and be with the pornography that he had than to be with me.

Jeanette Gross:
I'm not stupid. I'm not gonna let my husband go to Las Vegas with Mike to a porn show. Who do you think's in the bunny suit?

Mike Foster:
[frustrated] This is not what I signed up for. This is, This is, this is not... good. I'm supposed to, we're like fighting porn here, does it look like I'm fighting porn? I'm trying to get a freakin' hotel room, that's what my life's been reduced to. Going around the country telling people not to masturbate and look at porn.

talk show host:
And you think that the issue of pornography, you think that pornography is a problem, is a blight on our society, it's taking us farther away from the path that we want to be on? Is that what I'm hearing here?

Craig Gross:
Let me tell you, say this, do you think sitting at your computer with your pants down at your ankles looking at some hot chick on the Internet doing a donkey, while masturbating, is there a problem with that?

talk show host:
[flabbergasted] Mm, mm, you don't want to do it every night of the week.