Mister Lonely

Abraham Lincoln:
Abe f***in' Lincoln.

Michael Jackson:
I don't know if you know what it is like to want to be someone else, to not want to look like you look, to hate your own face and to go completely unnoticed. I have always wanted to be someone else. I have never felt comfortable the way I am. All I want is to be better than myself, to become less ordinary and to find some purpose in this world. It is easier to see things in others, to see things you admire and then try and become that. To own a different face, to dance a different dance, and sing a different song. It is out there waiting for us, inviting us to change. It is time to become who we are not. To change our face and become who we want to be. I think the world is a better place that way.

The Pope:
Do they not know that their little arms are too short to box with God?

Michael Jackson:
It's hard to always laugh when you don't know what people find so funny.

Marilyn Monroe:
[to Charlie Chaplin] Sometimes when I look at you, you seem more like Adolf Hitler than Charlie Chaplin.

Buckwheat:
I love women, they're hot, they make me sweat. I love chickens.I love their wings, like breasts. If you combine chicken with a woman's breasts, you get chicken breasts. I like chicken breast, chicken breast is nice and hot! If it was up to me, I'd make the world naked woman and naked chickens. That's hot, yeah!