Moonstruck

Rose:
Now he's going to play that damn Vicki Carr record, and when he comes to bed he won't touch me.

Johnny:
In time, you'll see that this is the best thing.

Loretta Castorini:
In time, you'll drop dead and I'll come to yor funeral in a red dress.

Rose:
I just want you to know no matter what you do, you're gonna die, just like everybody else.

Cosmo Castorini:
Thank you, Rose.

Rose:
Have I been a good wife?

Cosmo Castorini:
Yeah.

Rose:
I want you to stop seeing her.

Cosmo Castorini:
Okay.

Cosmo Castorini:
There are three kinds of pipe. There's aluminum, which is garbage. There's bronze, which is pretty good, unless something goes wrong. And something always goes wrong. Then, there's copper, which is the only pipe I use. It costs money. It costs money because it saves money.

Perry:
Pardon me folks. That was just a very attractive mental patient.

Ronny Cammareri:
I'm no friggin' monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?

Ronny Cammareri:
This was painted by Marc Chagall. And, as you can see, he was a very great artist.

Loretta Castorini:
It's a little gaudy, don't you think?

Ronny Cammareri:
Well, he was havin' some fun.

Cosmo Castorini:
I can't sleep any more. It's too much like death.

Cosmo Castorini:
Rose. Rose. Rose! Rose!

Rose:
Who's dead?

Cosmo Castorini:
I don't like him.

Rose:
You're not going to marry him, Cosmo. Do you love him, Loretta?

Loretta Castorini:
No.

Rose:
Good.

Rose:
When you love them they drive you crazy because they know they can.

Old Man:
La bella luna! The moon brings the woman to the man. Capice?

Loretta Castorini:
Did you tell her we're getting married?

Johnny:
I'm waiting... I'm waiting for a moment when she is peaceful.

Loretta Castorini:
Well, don't wait until she's dead.

Rose:
How's the mother?

Loretta Castorini:
She's dying. But I could still hear her big mouth.

Ronny Cammareri:
They say bread is life. And I bake bread, bread, *bread*. And I sweat and shovel this stinkin' dough in and out of this hot hole in the wall, and I should be *so* happy! Huh, sweetie?

Rose:
Old man, you give those dogs another piece of my food and I'm gonna kick you 'til you're dead!

Ronny Cammareri:
You ruined my life.

Loretta Castorini:
That's impossible! It was ruined when I got here! *You* ruined *my* life!

Loretta Castorini:
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two months since my last confession.

Loretta Castorini:
Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiancee, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store, but that was really an accident.

Ronny Cammareri:
Everything seems like nothing to me now, 'cause I want you in my bed. I don't care if I burn in hell. I don't care if you burn in hell. The past and the future is a joke to me now. I see that they're nothing. I see they ain't here. The only thing that's here is you - and me.

Ronny Cammareri:
Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, but love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and *die*. The storybooks are *bullshit*. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and *get* in my bed!

Cosmo Castorini:
A man understands one day that his life is built on nothing, and that's a bad, crazy day.

Rose:
Your life is not built on nothing! Te amo.

Loretta Castorini:
What am I going to tell him?

Cosmo Castorini:
Tell him the truth. They find out anyway.

Johnny:
In time you will see that this is the best thing.

Loretta Castorini:
In time you'll die and I'll come to your funeral in a red dress!

Rose:
Do you love him, Loretta?

Loretta Castorini:
Aw, ma, I love him awful.

Rose:
Oh, that's too bad.

Rose Castorini:
You... you got a love bite on your neck. He's coming back this morning, what's the matter with you? You're life's going down the toilet! Cover up that damn thing! Come on, put some make-up on it!

Ronny Cammareri:
You're gonna marry my brother? Why you wanna sell your life short? Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do. You waited for the right man the first time, why didn't you wait for the right man again?

Loretta Castorini:
He didn't come!

Ronny Cammareri:
I'm here!

Loretta Castorini:
You're late!

Loretta Castorini:
I'm getting married.

Cosmo Castorini:
Again?

Loretta Castorini:
Yeah.

Cosmo Castorini:
You did this once before, it didn't work out.

Loretta Castorini:
The guy died!

Ronny Cammareri:
Aw, Johnny, 40 years old and she's still runnin' your life!

Rose:
Are you drunk?

Loretta Castorini:
No. Are YOU drunk?

Rose:
No... but I have a hangover.

Ronny Cammareri:
A bride without a head!

Loretta Castorini:
A wolf without a foot!

Ronny Cammareri:
I have a feeling this is going to be just delicious.

Ronny Cammareri:
I looked the wrong way and I lost my hand. He could make you look the wrong way and you could lose your whole head!

Perry:
We could go to my apartment. You could see how the other half lives.

Rose:
I'm too old for you.

Perry:
I'm too old for me; that's my predicament.

Cosmo Castorini:
She'll have your eyes open for you, my friend.

Johnny:
I have my eyes open.

Cosmo Castorini:
Oh yeah? Well, stick around. Don't go on any long trips.

Johnny:
I don't know what you mean.

Cosmo Castorini:
I know you don't. That's the point. I'll say no more.

Johnny:
You haven't said anything!

Cosmo Castorini:
And that's all I'm saying.

Rose:
My mother has a saying. Do you want to hear it?

Perry:
Sure.

Rose:
Don't sh*t where you eat!

Rose:
Would anyone like some oatmeal?

Ronny Cammareri:
Yes, Mrs. Castorini, I would LOVE some oatmeal.

Loretta Castorini:
No, we don't want any oatmeal!

Rose:
No. I think the house is empty. I can't invite you in because I'm married and because I know who I am. You're shivering.

Perry:
I'm a little cold.

Rose:
You're a little boy and you like to be bad.

Perry:
We could go to my apartment. You could see how the other half lives.

Rose:
I'm too old for you.

Perry:
I'm too old for me. That's my predicament.

Rose:
Why do men chase women?

Johnny:
Well, there's a Bible story... God... God took a rib from Adam and made Eve. Now maybe men chase women to get the rib back. When God took the rib, he left a big hole there, where there used to be something. And the women have that. Now maybe, just maybe, a man isn't complete as a man without a woman.

Rose:
[frustrated] But why would a man need more than one woman?

Johnny:
I don't know. Maybe because he fears death.

[Rose looks up, eyes wide, suspicions confirmed]

Rose:
That's it! That's the reason!

Johnny:
I don't know...

Rose:
No! That's it! Thank you! Thank you for answering my question!

Loretta:
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been two weeks since my last confession.

Priest:
What sins have you to confess?

Loretta:
Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiancee, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store, but that was really an accident.

Priest:
Then it's not a sin. But... what was that second thing you said, Loretta?

Loretta:
You mean the one where I once slept with the brother of my fiancee?

Priest:
That's a pretty big sin.

Ronny:
I love you.

Loretta:
[slaps him twice] Snap out of it! Note: the bolded portion ranked #96 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.

Ronny:
And what do you know? OK. You tell me my life? I'll tell you yours. I'm a wolf? You run to the wolf in me, that don't make you no lamb! You're gonna marry my brother? Why you wanna sell your life short? Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do. I mean, you waited for the right man the first time. Why didn't you wait for the right man again?

Loretta:
He didn't come!

Ronny:
I'm here!

Loretta:
You're late! You know, we had a deal. You told me if I came with you to the Opera, then, then you'd leave me alone forever. And I came with you. Now I'm gonna marry your brother and you're gonna leave me alone forever, right? A person can see where they've messed up in their life, and they can change the way they do things, and they can even change their Luck. So maybe, maybe my nature does draw me to you, that don't mean I have to go with it. I can take hold of myself and I can say yes to some things and no to other things that are gonna ruin everything! I can do that. Otherwise, you know, what, what good is this stupid life that God gave us, I mean, for what? Are you listening to me?

Ronny:
Yeah. Everything seems like nothing to me now against I want you in my bed. I don't care if I burn in hell. I don't care if you burn in hell. The Past and the Future is a joke to me now. I see that they're nothin'. I see they ain't here. The only thing that's here is you - and me...Come upstairs. I don't care why you come. No, that's not what I mean. Loretta, I love you. Not, not like they told you love is and I didn't know this either. But love don't make things nice, it ruins everything! It breaks your heart, it makes things a mess. We, we aren't here to make things perfect. Snowflakes are perfect, stars are perfect. Not us! Not US! We are here to ruin ourselves and, and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and, and die! I mean that the storybooks are bullshit. Now I want you to come upstairs with me and, and get in my bed. Come on, come on, come on.

Loretta:
She was coughing her brains out but she kept singing

"Some day you'll drop dead and I'll come to your funeral in a red dress!"

Loretta Castorini:
That woman didn't leave you, OK. You can't see what you are, and I see everything... You are a wolf!... That woman was a trap for you. She caught you and you couldn't get away. So you, you chewed off your own foot. That was the price you had to pay for your freedom... And now, now you're afraid because you know the big part of you is a wolf that has the courage to bite off its own hand to save itself from the trap of the wrong love. That's why there's been no woman since that wrong woman. OK? You're scared to death of what the wolf would do if you try and make that mistake again!

Ronny Cammareri:
Bring me the big knife, I'm gonna cut my throat.

Ronny Cammareri:
I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride!

Chrissy, over on the wall, bring me the big knife. I want to cut my throat.

You have 3 kinds of pipe.

Old Man says:
You break your house with pride.