Move Over, Darling

Judge Bryson:
Where'd you study law, anyway?

Nicholas Arden:
Harvard, sir.

Judge Bryson:
Yeah, I might have known. Yale man, myself.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
Child? Oh! Nick is not a child.

Grace Arden:
No, he's not that smart. He's only a man.

Nicholas Arden:
You out of your mind?

Grace Arden:
Just a little. I can't quite seem to adjust: two daughters-in-law for only one son.

Nicholas Arden:
Well, as long as you had only one, why'd it have to be me?

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
Oh, Grace. There was a man on that island with me.

Grace Arden:
How marvelous. No wonder you look so well. But, you silly girl, why did you tell Nick?

Bianca Steele:
Oh, you are such a comfort, doctor. You know, I truly believe the most vital relationship a woman can establish is not between man and wife. It's the relationship between a woman and her analyst. Don't you agree, Dr. Schlick?

Dr. Herman Schlick:
Call me Herman.

Judge Bryson:
[to Nick] You mean your own mother charged you with bigamy?

Grace Arden:
I certainly did.

Judge Bryson:
I hope you remember this on Mother's Day.

Nicholas Arden:
[muttering as he walks through the hotel lobby] My wife is alive. My wife is alive. My wife is alive.

Seymour:
So's mine, buddy. That's why I drink!

Judge Bryson:
Well, are you gonna answer the question or is she going to talk for you the rest of your life?

Judge Bryson:
And you down there, stop that whispering. This is a court of law, not a public library.

Judge Bryson:
Freud's dead. Probably from arthritis.

Grace Arden:
You'll be at the hotel before they arrive.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
I can't DO that, Grace!

Grace Arden:
WHY can't you? You're his wife.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
So is she.

Grace Arden:
She's his bride.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
What's he difference?

Grace Arden:
A honeymoon, and you're not goin' to let them have one.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
We have such problems, DON'T you?

Mr. Codd:
I'd like to know what he thinks he's doing.

Hotel Desk Clerk:
I'd like to know how he does it.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
Don't take advantage of me just because I'm a woman.

Nicholas Arden:
You're my wife.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
One of them.

Nicholas Arden:
Yeah. Hey, I really have to do something about that.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
Yes.

Nicholas Arden:
[describing Ellen's memorial service] There wasn't a dry eye in the congregation.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
Oh, gosh, I wish I'd been there.

Nicholas Arden:
I-if you had been there, there wouldn't have been a service.

Ellen Wagstaff Arden:
Oh. That's right.

Nicholas Arden:
Kids aren't hard to bring up. Just pretend they're someone else's.

Stephen Burkett:
Man, she sure looks great in clothes.

District Attorney:
Your Honor, in effort to expedite matters in this somewhat unusual hearing, we pray decisions on a number of legal actions filed concurrently, all of which are components of one basic familial disturbance.

Judge Bryson:
[bemoaning] Sounds like something The Court of Appeals is gonna reverse me on already.

Bianca Steele:
Your Honor, may I please have your permission to get out of here before I explode?

Judge Bryson:
I'd like to go home myself. I'd like to tell my wife about this. She thinks all my cases are dull. This one's a doozy.