Movie 43

Robert:
It's very important to us that Kevin has a normal and complete high school experience.

Veronica:
Neil.

Neil:
Veronica.

Veronica:
Neil. You look pale.

Neil:
You look pregnant.

Veronica:
You look like you slept in a soup kitchen urinal.

Neil:
You look like you bathe in a dumpster behind the abortion clinic.

Veronica:
You look like the kid who got cancer for Christmas.

Neil:
You look like the slutty one on The Golden Girls.

Veronica:
Dorothy?

Neil:
Blanche.

Veronica:
You take that back, you son of a b*tch! You take it back! Take that back!

Neil:
I wanna taste you. I wanna lick you until you weep.

Neil:
How's your acid reflux?

Veronica:
How's your HPV?

Neil:
It's your HPV Veronica, I'm just carrying it.

Veronica:
Let's not have another chicken or the egg debate, Neil.

Neil:
No, lets. Chicken.

Veronica:
Egg.

Neil:
Chicken.

Veronica:
Egg.

Neil:
Chicken.

Veronica:
Egg.

Neil:
Chicken.

Veronica:
Egg.

Neil:
Chicken.

Veronica:
Egg.

Neil:
Chicken.

Veronica:
Egg!

Neil:
Your flesh, slick with cocoa butter, it haunts me.

Veronica:
How's Veronica?

Neil:
Veronica's fine, Veronica.

Veronica:
I can't believe you named your dog Veronica.

Neil:
I can't believe you sucked off that hobo for magic beans!

Veronica:
He was a wizard, Neil!

Neil:
Shh! I wanna be on you, in you. I wanna be allllllllllllll over your chin. Do you still like cr?me br?l?e?

Veronica:
Do you still like fingers in your butt hole?

Neil:
You know the answer is yes.

Arlene:
Teenage boys are physically attracted to naked women.

Robert:
Our research doesn't support that, sir.

Nathan:
Hello, 9-1-1? My friend is bleeding out of her vagina! Why are you laughing at me?

Fake Batman:
Excuse me, I'm gonna go do some Batman-ing.

Fake Robin:
Wait, let me get this straight. So you knew all the way back then? You knew that she was a dude?

Fake Batman:
Whole time.

Fake Robin:
Why did you make me kiss her? Him. It. This.

Fake Batman:
I don't know. I guess I woke up this morning with a little case of the f***arounds.

Brian:
You f***ed my girlfriend, dude!

Pete:
One time... for a week.

Robert:
Hey, guys! Come check out this kid's weird pubes!

Narrator:
They're not trying to take over your world, they're just trying to find a little place in your hearts. Remember, machines: they're full of kids.

Fake Supergirl:
Hi, I'm Supergirl.

Fake Robin:
My name...

Fake Batman:
[under the table speaking on an earpiece feeding to Robin's ear] I'm Robin.

Fake Robin:
[to Supergirl]... Hi, I'm Robin.

Fake Batman:
[to Robin] Um, so where are you from?

Fake Robin:
So where are you from?

Fake Supergirl:
Krypton.

Fake Robin:
Oh, Krypton. That's, that's, uh...

Fake Batman:
Oh sh*t.

Fake Robin:
Oh sh*t.

Fake Batman:
Dude, I can see her snatch.

Fake Robin:
Dude I can s... uh...

Fake Batman:
Oh my god, I can't believe the size of this thing. It's like a giant f***ing cornfield, it's enormous down here. It's crazy, look at that, I feel like at any moment Shoeless Joe Jackson can walk out of that and I can play catch with him.

Fake Robin:
Krypton, like the... I hear it's really nice. I have never been...

Fake Supergirl:
You didn't hear that the sun supernova'd and destroyed our entire race?

Fake Batman:
I'd wash dishes with it...

Fake Robin:
Did it? I did not...

Fake Batman:
It's a huge, bushy catastrophe down here. I feel like Sean Penn should do a benefit for this thing. [Supergirl's expression changes]

Fake Robin:
What? Oh, no. You can hear him, can't you...

Fake Supergirl:
Yeah, I can hear him! I can also see Batman underneath the table.

Fake Robin:
'Cause of the X-ray vision, of course.

Fake Supergirl:
No, I can just see him. It's a caf? table. I mean, it's really obvious.

Fake Batman:
[pops head from under the table, to Supergirl] Hi.

Fake Supergirl:
Hi. [storms off]

Fake Robin:
I'm so sorry about your family dying.

Fake Robin:
What the hell are you doing here, Batman? You're gonna ruin this!

Fake Batman:
Calm down! Look, I read on Twitter that a supervillain is gonna bomb this loser meet-and-greet so I'm here to save the day like I do all the time. I mean, you know, it's my thing. I'm the Batman.

Arlene:
[about the iBabe] Look, at the very least we need to put a warning sticker on the box.

Boss:
MP3 players don't have a warning not to have sex with it, right? A bag of potato chips doesn't have a warning, "Please don't f*** these potato chips"!

Julie:
Will you poop on me?