Mozart and the Whale

Donald Morton:
I'm late, which is ironic, because I started out 9 hours and 23 minutes early.

Gregory:
Can I give you some advice?

Donald Morton:
Can I humanly stop you?

Gregory:
Stick with the group. Compared to us, you're a god. And, uh, next to Isabelle, which you will *never* be again, you don't come off so hot.

Donald Morton:
Excuse me. Do you know when the next bus, uh 217, runs?

Man at bus stop:
Sorry.

Donald Morton:
I'm chasing someone.

Man at bus stop:
By bus?

Donald Morton:
Well, it's important.

Man at bus stop:
Important enough to take the bus?

Donald Morton:
Yeah. My girlfriend left me because I wanted to get married and she wanted to stay just friends.

Man at bus stop:
Ah. The slower this chase, the better.

Donald Morton:
Yeah.

Isabelle Sorenson:
All this time, and you didn't call.

Donald Morton:
I was gonna call.

Isabelle Sorenson:
You were?

Donald Morton:
Well just to tell you that I wasn't gonna call so that you wouldn't be aggravated, sitting around waiting and wondering when I was

Isabelle Sorenson:
gonna call?

Donald Morton:
Yeah. But in the end I figured that forcing myself into your life was probably not right. I would always do that. So the only nice thing I had left to give was just not to call.

Isabelle Sorenson:
I hated you for not calling. Because you were always gonna be there, and when you weren't, it was as if you didn't love me anymore.

Donald Morton:
So go home, I'll call ya.

Donald Morton:
People with Asperger's want contact with other people very much; we're just pathetically clueless at it, that's all.

Donald Morton:
Turns out you can't control people.

Donald Morton:
Or even predict them.

Donald Morton:
Numbers are different.

Donald Morton:
As I used to say, you can count on them.

Isabelle Sorenson:
You can't disappoint me, Because whatever you are is exactly what I want.

Wallace:
After everything she told me, and checking on your excellent record in college, I'm wondering why you choose to drive a taxi for a living.

Donald Morton:
At my interview with IBM after I graduated college, they asked me what my plans were, and I said, "Probably go to McDonalds for a 12-piece McNugget and two cheeseburgers, and then do my laundry."

Wallace:
Did they laugh, at least?

Donald Morton:
They smiled and said they'd call me. They didn't.

Isabelle Sorenson:
Be my friend Donald, be my best friend, please, because I really need you. I always felt like you wanted us to get married or something.

Donald Morton:
I never said that.

Isabelle Sorenson:
Not with words. But instead of that, do you want to just be my friend?

Donald Morton:
Without the sex?

Isabelle Sorenson:
Without the pressure. My friendship is all I have to give. Do you want it?

Isabelle Sorenson:
Don't - don't condescend to these women, they're no crazier that I am.

Gracie:
Yes we are!

Isabelle Sorenson:
I'm weird, but I'm not strange.

Donald Morton:
You're right, this isn't a matter of confusion, it's a matter of... discord. [Inappropriate change of subject:] That's a nice sweater!

Isabelle Sorenson:
You can kiss my self esteem butt, Donald Duck. Why tell your life story, and tell only the good parts?

Donald Morton:
It's Donald Morton.

Isabelle Sorenson:
You're missing my point!

Donald Morton:
No I'm not! I just - never know what to say.

Donald Morton:
Oh - All my life I felt like I was on the sidelines. Uh, watching the parade go by. When you're a whale, you are the parade.

Janice:
Can I give you some advice?

Donald Morton:
Can I humanly stop you?

Janice:
Stick with the group. Compared to us, you're a god. And, uh, next to Isabelle, which you will *never* be again, you don't come off so hot.